


All the Daughters

by LateStarter58



Series: The Companions [6]
Category: Henry V - Shakespeare, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, F/M, Robot Feels, Robot/Human Relationships, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 06:29:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 55,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16781467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LateStarter58/pseuds/LateStarter58
Summary: ”I am all the daughters of my father’s house, And all the brothers too.”Twelfth Night, William Shakespeare.





	1. Our Children's Fate

_For all we have and are/For all our children’s fate.”_

**_For All We Have and Are, Rudyard Kipling_ **

Johanna Manske stretched out her right arm and watched the ripples travelling sinuously outwards from her hand, fading and flattening as they moved away towards the horizon. All was quiet. The breeze was on its minimum setting, just enough to send the scent of almond blossom drifting over the shiny, still water. There was something undeniably luxurious and self-indulgent about a swim before breakfast. In the last few months it had become a regular ritual, a form of transition; a physical and mental trick to get her mind in the right place for work. Her research had been so intense in the last month or so that sleep had become elusive, and in the absence of true rest, this complete change of environment gave her a sort of reset button after a restless night. The best part was that, at this hour, she usually had the water to herself, more or less.

Swimming was one of her favourite things to do. Before she came to _Orbital 4,_ Johanna had never had the chance to do more than take her turn in the quite basic _Lunar Prime University_ facility, and indeed when she first arrived here almost three and half years ago, there was nowhere for childless adults to take a dip at all (all the colony schools had training pools but they were for pupils and parents exclusively). Her exercise regime had therefore been restricted to the gym and running around the park and the corridors, at least until she made friends with whom she could enjoy a game of tennis or badminton. But then this amenity was completed last year. She loved it. It was more than just a place to swim, but truly a little piece of paradise. Not a sterile, soulless place like that pool on the moon, but a living, breathing thing.

She rolled lazily onto her back and gazed up at the panels of the geodesic dome roof that separated her from the vast infinity of space. The sun was just rising, and the warm glow of morning which was brightening the large pod housing the lake was also beginning to light up the dirty grey clouds that coated most of the planet above which _OB4_ floated as she did, fixed in its geostationary orbit. Johanna, on the other hand, drifted serenely, supported by the warm water which bathed her body and soothed her soul. Minutes passed unnoticed as she allowed her eyes to drift shut and her thoughts to focus only on the sensations that caressed her body. But on _OB4_ that could not last long, and soon she became aware of the murmur of voices as other early risers began to arrive. Like her, they had set off from their apartments already in swimsuits and, leaving their towels on the pale sand of the beach or draped over one of the many loungers, they began to wade out in ones and twos, into the balmy water until deep enough to immerse themselves.

This was her signal to leave, so Johanna swam slowly towards the beach until she could stand up, walked to her towel and dried herself off. It didn’t take very long, because _Lake Chantal_ was kept at a tropical 28ºC, and the air at a similar temperature, all year round. Refreshed and infused with a burst of energy, she set off back to her quarters to prepare for another day in the lab. A short lift ride and an even shorter walk, and Johanna was opening her front door.

“Good morning again, Dr Manske.” the computer purred. “DId you enjoy your swim?”

“I did, thank you.”

“You have two items in the diary today: a meeting with Dr Kowalska at eleven, and a date at _Companionship_ at twenty-fifteen.”

Johanna bristled slightly. The _OB4_ OS tended to the nanny-ish.

“Yes, thank you. I haven’t forgotten.”

She sat at the table and began to eat her breakfast of fresh apple and synthetic oats in a contemplative fashion, already slipping into professional mode.

*********

“Sorry… fuck… Get off me, Loki, _please._ ”

“But, why? I feel your skin is-”

“OFF! _NOW_!!”

Loki allowed himself to be shoved to one side as Hannah moved to the edge of the bed and lay there, panting. She was doing her best to have as little contact as possible with anything but fresh air. A light sheen of sweat covered her body and her face, neck and shoulders glowed with the blush of an out of control inner heat. The _Companion_ silentlyinstructed the computer to lower the room temperature and stayed still, watching her warily. His formerly calm and even-tempered lover had become more volatile in recent weeks, and this sudden over-heating business was just the latest side-effect of her hormone treatment to appear. Cautiously, he laid a cool hand on the burning skin of her upper arm. Hannah started, then seemed to recognise the soothing contrast and turned to look at him.

“Thanks. Sorry.”

Loki moved a little closer, the natural chill of his particular programmed body temperature a welcome boost to Hannah’s cooling process.

“Shall I…?”

He indicated her still very pink breasts. She nodded and sighed gratefully as his large hands cupped her full bosom. The hot flush was passing at last and she moaned a little as his thumbs brushed over her nipples, but then she gasped in pain as he squeezed lightly.

“Ow! Sorry… oh _fuck_! This fucking treatment! Everything hurts or sweats or both… I’m sick of it already.”

Loki settled onto his side facing her and kissed her cheek softly. His voice low and husky, he spoke into her ear as she stared distractedly at the ceiling.

“Yes, well, my darling, entertaining as it is to watch as you erupt like a Svartalfheim volcano every few minutes, I do usually prefer my women somewhat... _cooler._ And less slippery.”

Hannah turned towards him, angry and hurt at his callous remark, only to be greeted by a wide grin. He was teasing; trying to cheer her up. She laughed and slapped him playfully.

“Oh _shut up_ , you!”

“I trust this phase will be short-lived? And that we will soon be able to resume our pleasurable activities uninterrupted by these sudden, um... _heatwaves_?”

She shrugged, her eyes scanning his beautiful pale face. His long, black, impossibly shiny hair was mingling with her strawberry-blonde tresses on the pillow between them. Before she realised he was being sarcastic for the right reasons, she had been ready to tell him he couldn’t possibly understand, what with him being a man, and not even _human_ , in fact not even truly a _being…_ but then she remembered as she took him in. He _was_ a person, notwithstanding all those things. For all his archness and sarcasm, he was unequivocally on her side. And when he looked at her, undisguised love and lust mixing in his face, the sight never failed to cheer her, even at moments of despair like this. A month ago she had been certain that she could endure anything to have a child. To have, as near as dammit, _Loki’s child_. It had gradually taken over her life in the past year; she could neither think nor feel anything that was not, to a greater or lesser extent, connected with her need to become a mother. It was a new sensation. When she was in the prime of her childbearing years, she had felt no such desire.

But that was before. Before she found Loki and his fellow _Companions_ , sleeping forgotten in their stasis pods in the ruins of Chantal Barton’s home, and brought them back to the colony. Before the technology that made them was cannibalised, shared, improved (some said) and extended. Before the lives of every woman on _Orbital 4_ had been changed by her discovery. An argument could be made to say that every surviving human settlement had been changed by it.

“I hope so… I don't know. I love you, Loki.”

“Of course you do, my dearest Lady Hannah.”

He looked into her eyes, as if daring her to challenge him again, but just for a moment. Then he kissed her passionately, making her want to keep him right where he was. She grabbed his neck and whimpered, but he lifted away from her and looked at her sternly.

“Now, now, it’s no use changing your mind at this stage. Look at the hour: I must rise and prepare for my work at the nursery. Those tiny, ludicrously helpless humans will not feed and change themselves, and what is more, Miss Julie relies on me to read stories to the bigger girls after lunch.”

He got up and moved towards the hygiene arch, stopping in his accustomed dramatic fashion to turn his head and look at her over his pale shoulder with burning eyes.

“We can finish this later.”

Hannah smiled to herself. Her once haughty partner had made himself an indispensable member of the team down there, having developed his skills in childcare to a high level of expertise in a very short time. Not to mention his now weekly _Norse Story Time_ at Nell’s school. It was in part seeing how well he adapted to it that made her own need for a child so acute. But the harsh reality of the treatment - the daily injections, the emotional rollercoaster, the physical symptoms of which these debilitating hot sweats were just the latest - was proving even more taxing than she had expected.

Of course, she was that much older than her friends who had already been through it. Cate had borne all this twice, for goodness’ sake. But those ten years or so more on the clock made a big difference to a woman, and Hannah was also aware that the chances of success were lessened by her proximity to the menopause. Attempts had been made in centuries past, before the collapse, to extend fertility beyond its natural end. That was yet another symptom of the _consume-with-no-regard_ culture that had got the human race to where it was: orbiting around its former home in sealed containers in much reduced numbers, breathing recycled air and waiting ( _hoping_ ) for Gaia to repair the damage they had done. 

“No,“ she said to herself as she too got up to do something useful with her day, “if this doesn’t work then I’ll just have to live with it. Cuddle Julie or Cate’s kids.” She sighed as she thought of the newest arrival, Amanda and Oakley’s little Daisy. New-borns made her broodiness go into overdrive. A few fat tears made their way down her cheek, but she wiped them away roughly. “Bloody hormones!”

*********

The Gene Lab was a hive of activity, as it was most days. Johanna looked from side to side as she walked along the long central corridor, past her many colleagues, most of them engaged in the bread and butter work of embryogenesis. In their glass-sided rooms, women in protective suits hunched over microscopes or with their hands inside sealed boxes as they created the next generation. Everything was clean, white, and exuded an atmosphere of controlled efficiency. Johanna allowed herself to wonder how different it must have been on Earth in the time before the Wars. She found it hard to imagine a situation where simply two people having sex could initiate a new life. The law of unforeseen consequences meant that such natural reproduction was no longer an option. However, thanks to the usual combination of hard work and inspiration, couples could at least, as in the _good old days,_ have children who had genes from both parents.

The population of _Orbital 4_ was topping seven and a half thousand women and girls - and counting, and demand for the service provided by the gene engineers was constantly growing. The arrival of the _Companions_ had changed not only the gender dynamic on _OB4,_ but had spurred research which meant that it was now possible to synthesise genes from long-dead individuals, as long as their DNA was on record in the surviving archive. As well as the women with non-active _Companion_ partners being able to have children with genetic heritage from both their mother and ‘father’, rich individuals on other colonies had begun to use the technology to inject characteristics from their own ancestors or other prominent people from the past into new citizens.

But one seemingly intractable problem persisted. An unfortunate combination of nuclear and biological weapons used at some point during the last and most cataclysmic of the Wars had caused a mutation on the mitochondrial DNA of every woman on Earth. The resulting disease affected only the male babies, but it meant they all died in utero. The same unstoppable virus had killed all the living men and boys. The irony of men effectively making themselves extinct was not lost on the women who managed to survive by escaping to off-world bases, and they quickly found a way to reproduce without them. So the human race did not completely die out, but it was less than satisfactory, and the risk of total extinction remained.

It was this enduring difficulty that Johanna had come to _OB4_ to work on. She had been intrigued by the problem for as long as she could recall; the prospect of finding an answer had been her motivation for becoming a geneticist. And _OB4_ was a magnet for minds like hers: the labs here were the best. Other places, including _OB10_ where she had been born, had better-funded facilities, but the most brilliant women in the field had been drawn here because of the _Companions._ It made for a critical mass of creativity and thought.Suddenly, almost overnight, men were no longer distant figures of fantasy or historical interest. The living reality of the androids Hannah had found had given new impetus to the search for a cure to the terrible plague. Or at least for a solution, a way to get around it. And now she was on the threshold - _she hoped_ \- of finding it.

She reached her own small cubicle and sat down at her desk. As she became more successful in her career, Johanna had made a point of leaving work matters - at least in theory - at work, so she did not check her message log once she left the lab. She could not switch off her brain, of course, but it helped to avoid the day-to-day irritations ramping up her already high stress levels. As usual, her first task was to check through her messages and answer a few. Urgent matters dealt with, she assembled her data ready for the presentation she was planning for her boss. Her stomach tightened; she was there, she was certain of it. Now she needed to get authorisation for the next step. But that was by no means in the bag.

*********

Thursdays were always busy at the nursery, and Julie reflected how welcome Loki’s assistance was these days; not to say indispensable. They were at capacity, and until the new facility opened at _Verdi_ module in three weeks time, they were running a long waiting list for places in some sessions, including this one. At that precise moment, all was quiet, more or less. The toddlers were having their nap, apart from Mary’s youngest, Faith, who was chatting happily to Ed in the story corner. Her mother kept unsocial hours and so did she, rarely being ready for sleep when her friends were. Loki was rocking one of the newest recruits, Oakley and Amanda’s little Daisy. His back was towards her, but Julie could tell by his posture that the infant was asleep.

A month ago she might have told him to put the baby down and do something useful, but not today. He seemed rather distracted and out of sorts, and nothing soothed a troubled soul more than cradling a newborn. Julie checked her monitors, and satisfied all was well in the dormitory, she lifted her tablet and messaged Hannah.

**_< Is everything OK with you guys?>_ **

_< What do u mean?>_

**_< Loki seems down>_ **

There was a long pause and Julie began to worry she had overstepped the mark. She and Hannah were good friends, she thought, but perhaps not close enough for this conversation…

_< I’m having side effects. I guess you could say things are difficult at home>_

Julie let out a long sigh.

**_< If you want to talk, I know what it’s like>_ **

_< Thanks>_

As she closed the chat window, a soft ‘bong’ reminded her that Oakley’s teaching practice was over for the day and he would be arriving in ten minutes to pick up his daughter. Julie stood up and walked quietly over to where Loki was still holding Daisy in his long arms.

“Loki,” she said softly, “Her Dad will be here shortly. Put her down and pack up her things, would you, please?”

He nodded curtly, stood up and strode smoothly over to the baby’s cot. He laid her down, covered her up with her lemon-yellow blanket and swiftly set about his task. When the little bag of infant necessities was ready, he put it beside her cot and walked over to where Julie was tidying the bookshelves. He cleared his throat theatrically.

“Yes, Loki?”  
“Would it be acceptable for me to leave when Daisy does? I have some business with her father.”

“Of course. Will you be returning today?”

“Do you need me?”

She thought for a moment. The rush would be over in an hour or so. Shifts were ending; school was finishing for the little ones and their teachers, so by 4pm the nursery would be mostly empty.

“No, we’ll be fine, thanks Loki. See you tomorrow?”

“I shall be here as scheduled. Thank you, Miss Julie.”

He gave her one of his curt, formal nods. She noted his eyes seemed tight, and the look in them distant, as if his thoughts were far off. She knew Loki liked to roam the colony’s databanks, and those larger servers on Mars and the Moon that all humans shared. Was he researching, reading or, perhaps, _hacking_? Was he up to one of his tricks, or was his preoccupation just the result of living with a woman undergoing hormone treatment? She did not have much time to ponder this conundrum, because just five minutes later _Hurricane Oakley_ swept in.

“HELLO, HELLO!!” he bellowed, “WHERE’S MY DAISY-POPS??!!”

“Shhhhh, Oakley!” Julie employed a more nap-friendly stage whisper. “Some of the girls are asleep.”

Oakley’s cheery expression evaporated. “Oh, fuck...oh, sorry! I just get so, you know…”

“Excited to see your little one?”

“Yeah. Plus, at the school, I have to, you know, make myself heard.”

He stood still and silent for a moment, looking suitably chastened. Julie kept quiet too, but no plaintive wails broke the peace; it seemed that no child had been disturbed. Loki appeared in the doorway of the infant room Oakley’s daughter in his arms and her little bag of worldly goods over his shoulder. He regarded his fellow _Companion_ rather fiercely. Julie smirked: these two would never be friends. Chantal’s journal had told of their first encounter, when Oakley had arrived to replace him (the lucky woman was trying out several ‘models’). Loki had not been amused and this irritation, not to say active dislike continued after their reactivation here on _OB4._

“May I accompany you back to your quarters, Oakley? I have something I wish to discuss.”

Oakley’s face broke into a broad grin; he liked it when one of the more serious _Companions_ asked for his help. It suited his manipulative nature to have some power, however minor or fleeting.

“By all means, _Loki._ ”

He bowed low, earning him an irritated grunt from the demi-god, then opened his arms and Loki handed him the child. Holding her against his chest with one arm, he used the other hand to press the button on a grey cylinder, which sat on his belt. This activated the automatic device that unfolded rapidly to form a baby-carrying harness. The whole thing was the brainchild of Sir Thomas Sharpe, and was becoming a great success with parents in all the human colonies. Once Daisy was safely secured, Oakley held out his right arm for her bag.

“There’s no need. I will carry it for you; you talk to your daughter.”

Once again, Oakley grinned, then winked exaggeratedly at Julie and turned to leave.

“Come on then, Lokes!”

Rolling his eyes and gritting his teeth, Loki headed for the door in his wake. He smiled grimly at Julie, raising a hand in salute.

“Farewell, Miss Julie. Until the morrow.”

As they rode up in the lift, Loki couldn't help but be pleased to observe how adoring the infuriatingly swaggering youth was with his baby daughter. He was embarrassed when Oakley looked up and caught him watching their parent/child bonding.

“Looking forward to doing this yourself are you?”

“Actually, Oakley, it is on that subject that I…”

Oakley’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh yes? Do tell...”

Loki sent Oakley a brief, unambiguous electronic message, after glancing meaningfully at the tiny camera that all the lifts were fitted with for safety and security reasons.

_Not here_.

*********

Janet tidied her desk a little, then stood up and walked across her not particularly huge office to make sure the table was clear, ahead of her meeting with Johanna. She knew what was coming, she thought, and she had already composed a memo for the funding committee. But their approval was academic; nothing could happen without taking it before the full Council. A discreet tap on the wall by the open door broke into her thoughts.

“Come in, Johanna.”

A blonde head popped in, followed by the rest of the most brilliant geneticist on her staff. One unforeseen advantage of the arrival of the _Companions,_ and the subsequent programme of development and manufacture of new versions, was that _Orbital 4_ had become a magnet for the brightest and the best in the fields of genetics and bioengineering. Dr Johanna Manske was by far the cleverest of those women who had flocked to work in the labs, in the code workshops and in the growth rooms where the new androids were actually made.

“Good morning, Dr Kowalska.”

“Call me Janet, please. You know we’re pretty informal here.”

“Sorry, _Janet._ ”

Johanna’s sweet smile transformed her face and subtracted ten years from her age.

“So, is this an update? I assume that as it’s sooner than-”

“No, not just that.” Johanna took a deep breath and tried to slow her pulse, which was racing. “I think we’re ready for the next phase.”

She tapped her screen and with a sweep of her finger, sent the data to both Janet’s tablet and the large screen on the wall above the far end of the table. Janet ignored it, remaining focussed on her colleague.

“Live tissue trials?”

“Yes. All of the last fifty simulations worked perfectly. There is no reason to delay moving on.”

Janet looked at her for a long moment, then stood up and walked over to the window. She was a tall woman, a good six inches taller than Johanna, and her dark brown hair glowed in the sunlight that was reflecting off the atmosphere. Her eyes scanned the view, seemingly searching for something. Far below, beneath the blanket of clouds, the Earth waited. Slowly, but more and more perceptibly, it was repairing, _healing._ If Johanna’s theories really were correct, then there was a chance that humans - _women AND men -_ could return and live something close to normal, natural lives on the surface again - one day.

“Well, that’s not _entirely_ true, is it? We will need to get approval from the full Council. And there is a chance they might decide to put it to the vote. A plebiscite, I mean.”

Johanna was momentarily stunned; such a possibility hadn't occurred to her.

“Do you think that’s likely?”

“I do.” Janet walked back to her seat and sat down. “This is huge, Johanna. We’d be asking for permission to make male embryos - a painful enough concept in itself, given human history - purely to see if we can tweak their DNA correctly. Some, perhaps many, won’t survive the process.” Janet sighed. She knew how it was - when a theory grips you, you get so excited it isn't always easy to contextualise the significance other than in scientific terms. She had to be brutal to break through the bubble Johanna was in. “We’d be asking women to give us their potential children to experiment on.”

“B-b-b-but... _that’s…_ I mean, it’s been done before. How do you think they developed the reproductive programme originally, on _Mars Alpha_?”

“I know, Johanna, _I know_. But times have changed. Things were much more regimented back then; more controlled, less democratic. There was a terrible urgency; they had to move fast to prevent extinction. Now, with the way that science and society has moved on… we can’t just assume that we can start testing of this kind without a debate, avoiding a big discussion. We will need to take the whole population with us on this.” She looked at Johanna sadly. “You might find that this consultation process takes longer than the research will.”

Johanna went home early. She was scheduled to go at three, but in the end she took the whole afternoon. There was nothing more she could do usefully, once she had sent Janet everything she needed to take to the Council meeting tomorrow. After a coffee and a cake on the commercial concourse outside the entrance to _Lake Chantal,_ she headed back to her quarters to have a long, luxurious preparation for her evening date with Adam.

_He’ll understand._


	2. A World of Men For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Round the cape of a sudden came the sea, And the sun looked over the mountain’s rim; And straight was a path of gold for him, And the need of a world of men for me.” Parting at Morning, Robert Browning

“Come on in, Loki. Make yourself at home, mate.”

Oakley’s fellow _Companion_ bristled at the lack of formality, and an irritated grunt emerged from his pale, handsome face. Loki was aware that their differing core programming had given them contrasting personalities and approaches, but he could not avoid his own expectations of deference from all; young male humans in particular _._ He had scoffed when Hannah suggested to him once that he was still harbouring a grudge because Oakley had replaced him in his original home back on Earth. Ridiculous! He was above such petty childishness… _no_. Puzzling as Chantal’s choice had been to him, it was simply that to be forced into this kind of... _intimacy_ with one so... _immature and annoying…_

Oakley had been bustling around, putting the sleepy Daisy down in her own bedroom and tidying up. Now he sat down opposite where Loki was perched uncomfortably and was looking at him with an expectant expression. They would have made an amusing sight to an onlooker: Oakley, with his unruly mop of dark blonde curls, was dressed, as usual, in casual early-21st century European garb. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, albeit quite smart ones; that was his only concession to his supposed status as a trainee teacher. He exuded his habitual cheeky charm. With sleek long black hair touching his shoulders, and pale-faced, Loki was also in informal clothing, but Asgard-style. Dark green moleskin trousers and a woollen tunic which was decorated with fine golden embroidery on the shoulders and cuffs. He looked every inch a king, not least due to his posture and comportment. It would not have been immediately apparent to the uninitiated that the same actor was the original model for both.

“So, Lokes… is it fatherhood you wanna chat about?”

If _Companion-Loki_ had possessed the magical skills of the legendary Norse god on whom he was based, at that moment Oakley would have been a smoking pile of ash on the couch. As it was, the android made do with a hard stare and gritted teeth.

“Not exactly, no… Apparently you are already aware that Lady Hannah and I are preparing for her to bear a child.” _The women chatter so much; nothing is sacred..._

Oakley nodded, grinning. “Yep.”

“I wonder, would you mind telling me if… I recognise this might be too intrusive, and I will not-”

“Spit it out, Loki, mate!”

“I would prefer it, Oakley, if you were not quite so familiar-”

“You know, _Lokes,_ you need to make your fucking mind up! Do you want to get personal or not? You won’t get any of that _your highness_ arse-licking from me, _especially not_ if you want to pry into my marital affairs…”

Loki growled softly. He was struggling with this dilemma; he needed Oakley’s help with something, and he also wanted to discover how he and Amanda had weathered the preparation phase. They were the most recent couple in his acquaintance to undergo it. He stiffened his back and said the words he found hardest.

“I apologise, Oakley. I am being unreasonable. Please forgive me. I still find adjusting to this more... _mixed_ society something of a challenge.”

“Fair enough. I accept your apology.” He grinned. “Now, what can I do for you?”

“Do you still take the occasional wander through the Council data files?”

“I have been known to, yes. Why? Looking for something in particular?”

“I might be. I came across a rather intriguing memo this morning. But first of all, if you will allow me, I would like to ask you if Amanda was in anyway, well, _changed_ by the treatment.”

“Whaddya mean, _changed_?”

“Personality, temperament…?”

“ _Weeeelll_ … she was always quite fiery, and that was a bit more noticeable, I ‘spose… Her fuse _deffo_ got shorter. I had my head bitten off daily for a bit, hourly, even. And my arse kicked… And she’d cry a lot. On the up side, sometimes she got really randy.” His grin broadened and he chuckled breathily. “Yeah, extra randy. That was good.”

“Did this change endure?”

“Nah… although she was always bloody sexy, and she was keener than ever once she was preggers… But she calmed down, temper-wise, once the jabs stopped.”

Loki tried to hide his relief. He missed the serene beauty he had fallen in love with at first sight.

“She was still quite, you know, teary… burst into sobs at just about anything... Still does.” Oakley sighed, wondering if that was the price of motherhood. “So what’s this ‘intriguing memo’ about then?”

“A not unconnected matter, as it happens.”

*********

Johanna adored Adam’s room in _Companionship._ It was full of _things…_ she wondered, the first time she visited, how he had collected them all: books, apparently old ones, pictures in frames covering the wall, musical instruments, fabrics draped on everything, mysterious boxes and bits of old technology that seemed to be inoperative. Finally she had asked him, and the explanation was obvious: he had been allowed to help himself from the stores of items that had been salvaged from the Earth but were not of any use. Apart from the instruments which Hannah had sourced for him. And the books; the ones he had were facsimiles. Very realistic, but not, sadly, _real._ It seemed appropriate to Johanna, under the circumstances.

She had waited six months after arriving on _OB4_ before she gave in to her curiosity and booked a date at _Companionship._ She still recalled how it took her three days to choose between Adam and Sir Thomas Sharpe. Both of them had a dark mystery, a sort of melancholy that appealed, and both were men of science, which was the real attraction, or so she convinced herself at the time. In the end, she opted for the ‘vampire’, telling herself she could always give the Edwardian engineer a test-drive next time. In fact, Adam had beguiled her so much that in three years she had never felt the need to look elsewhere.

“So tell me, Johanna, how is your research going?”

Adam had placed a cordial glass on the table in front of her. It was full of a rich red liquid, but experience had taught her that this would be a _kir cassis_ or some cherry liqueur, not blood. _Companion_ Adam’s character template might have been a movie vampire, but he was a sentient android. He ate and drank like a human, more or less. The sharing of a drink and talk of her work was their accustomed way to begin an evening together. Johanna lifted the glass and admired the fine etched pattern on the bowl and the twist of blue in the stem. Every detail was perfect, and she marvelled at the dedication of the women who had taken on the task of ‘set decoration’ in the facility. This might have been, to all intents and purposes, a glorified brothel, but once she was behind Adam’s door, she felt she was in his home, and absorbed into his world.

“Rather well, actually.” She was about to say more, but hesitated, not sure if she should. “You will keep this confidential, right?”

Adam’s sensitive face gazed back at her, a hint of offence in his expression. “Of course. I would never tell anybody else what you have shared with me in confidence. Your privacy and comfort is essential. Everything we do, say, feel is and will remain between us… Unless,” he murmured, gracing Johanna with a tentative smile, “you breach the rules.”

“Rules? Oh, yes…”

Every client signed an agreement before their first ‘date’; a contract. No verbal or physical abuse of the _Companions,_ no sexual activity if the client is too intoxicated for informed consent, that sort of thing. It had been a while, but she remembered being puzzled that it was necessary. But then, it takes all kinds.

“In that case... yes, I am rather excited. I think we’re finally ready for human trials.”

Adam smiled, properly this time. It was a rare sight and all the more welcome for that. Johanna felt herself welling up.

“Shall we toast your success?”

“Hmmm… That might be a bit premature. The Council has to decide if they will approve the next step. Janet thinks they might want to put it to a popular vote.”

“I see. Yes… there are ethical considerations, I understand that. But I think we can still salute your progress, Johanna. You may have saved the zombies from oblivion. I just hope they appreciate you.”

He unfolded his long body and stood up, raising his glass and holding out his free hand to her. She took it and stood with him. They both sipped their drinks, then he took hers from her and put both down on the table. Her stomach flipped and her knees felt like jelly. Normally the two of them would talk for some time, occasionally hours, before making love. But tonight Adam had obviously picked up on some unconscious, non-verbal signals from her and cut to the chase. His cool hand touched her cheek as he regarded her darkly, one eye having to look down through the curtain of his unruly fringe. The intensity of his gaze coupled with the urgency of her desire made her begin to tremble. The brush of his thumb over her bottom lip brought a whimper from deep inside her.

“Shhh, my darling. Shhhh….”

He took a step closer so he could envelop her in his long pale arms as his mouth roved over her face. Somewhere, far off in the remaining functional part of her cerebral cortex, she wondered at the brilliance of his design and programming, everything that made him feel and behave so naturally. But his hot breath was blowing over her ear and with every gust her mind retreated and her body took over. Adam’s large hands grasped her waist and he tilted his pelvis against hers, making her moan with want. Johanna allowed her own arms to move, one hand to his tight round backside, the other to rub over the hardness she had felt through his jeans when he’d pressed against her.

“Oh god, I need you, Adam…”

“Then come, let me have you now, my darling.”

He walked her back a few steps, to the edge of the four-poster and began to remove her clothing. When his cool fingers slipped inside her underwear she called out, so desperate was she for his touch. And when his mouth reached her sex as she arched her back on the heavy brocade, her screams of pleasure made him smile again.

*********

All was quiet in the Oakley-Murrell home; just the occasional gurgle from Daisy’s cot broke the stillness. In the sitting room, Loki and Oakley were still facing each other across the coffee table. They had stopped speaking aloud and were communicating digitally. Loki had shown him the memo from Johanna to Janet outlining the current state of her research. Oakley quickly located Janet’s messages to the other Council members asking for a special meeting to be convened. The two androids looked at each other. Loki smirked. Oakley felt the need to use his voice.

“Fucking hell, Lokes…”

“Yes, _Oakley…_ ”

“Boys… _real boys…_ ”

“Yes...sons. _Princes._ ”

“But if they could have them, well… we’d be...well, not _us,_ but the others, the actives, they’d be, well, _eventually_... “ He started to laugh. “... _redundant!_ ”

Loki stood up and glared at Oakley.

“I would appreciate it if you kept this information to yourself. Amanda might share it with you, but please, do not indicate to her you know already, and under no circumstances let her know that I am aware of the direction of this research.”

“Course not, Lokes… you can rely on me, mate.”

Loki repressed the snarl that bubbled inside and instead gave a sharp nod and turned to leave. He did not like to be beholden to anyone, least of all to this... _boy._ But difficult times make for strange bedfellows, as the Midgard saying goes. So he swallowed his pride once more and raised a hand in salute to Oakley.

“Thank you. Goodbye.”

*********

“Adam?”

“Yes, my darling?”

“Do you like your work?”

“I hardly consider it work. It is what I was made for, my reason for existing. But yes, I do enjoy bringing pleasure and happiness. Who wouldn’t?”

“Nobody, I guess.”

“Why do you ask? Do you not enjoy yours?”

Johanna sighed and rolled onto her side to look at Adam’s serious face. The movement made little rivulets of pleasure run in many directions. She wriggled a little to cause more. It made her whimper and the hint of smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“I do, but…”

“It is stressful? It must be. I can see it in you sometimes.”

“Yes… but mainly because I put pressure on myself.” She sat up and Adam reached for her hand and stroked it. “It feels as if... “ She turned to look down at him, his head resting on the pillow, his wild black hair a demonic halo. “I know it’s not rational but… some days… This work, it’s about the future of us all, about the continuation of everything men and women have done, good and bad. I feel… I sometimes feel as if the whole of humanity is depending on me and my team in the lab…” Adam sat up too and began to kiss the skin on the upper edge of her shoulder, his lips tenderly tickling, his tongue soothing after little nips his teeth took. “And I’m not sure we should have a future. I mean, look what we did!”

A sharp laugh burst from him. “Well, Johanna, I am not, perhaps, the best _Companion_ to discuss this with. You know how I feel about the zombies…” He held her face gently in his large hands and gazed directly into her eyes. “But look at what women have done, since the last wars. You have made new life, built homes like this one… Do you have any idea how incredible this place is? There is so much here, so much good, so many lives being well-lived, in a way that was unimaginable on Earth, before. And you did it all, you women.”

She smiled sadly at him. She’d been studying history in her free time and it was not encouraging.

“Yeah. That’s what I mean. Do we need men? _Should_ we bring back the gender that destroyed itself... that nearly destroyed us all?”

*********

Loki split his time on Fridays between the school and the nursery. His storytelling had become a fixture, so much so that every primary-age child from that side of _OB4_ knew more of the _Old Norse_ myths than anyone since the destruction of Scandinavia some centuries before. Usually, he loved this time with the girls, throwing himself wholeheartedly into the performance, but even the youngest noticed a difference in him that day. While he was always rather proud and haughty, that morning he seemed distant, as if his thoughts were elsewhere. One of the teachers spotted it and mentioned it to Oakley, who just shrugged. He guessed the cause of course, but he had pledged his silence.

Normally Loki would pop home for lunch with Hannah in between his two ‘jobs’, and if there was time, make sure she went back to her desk basking in the glow of at least two orgasms. But this particular Friday he was preoccupied and instead messaged her that he was running late and would have to miss lunch. In fact, he spent the break walking briskly around the grounds, his positronic brain working its way furiously through the data he had been able to access by hacking into the Gene Lab system. He wanted to make sure he was fully conversant with the research before he approached Dr Janet.

Jonathan Pine was on patrol in the park, and as he saw Loki’s dark head passing behind the cider mill for the third time, he wandered over to intersect his path.

“Are you training for a long-distance walk, or something, Loki?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You seem to be doing circuits. Or are you perhaps working off some stress?”

“I am not.” He looked at the calm face of the former spy, who had joined the colony security force after ‘retiring’ as an active _Companion_ when he fell in love with (and subsequently married) the Medical Director. He was highly observant, so there was no use pretending all was normal. “I admit that things have been… you don't have any children, Pine?”

“No, not yet.”

“Well, when… _if_ you do, you will learn that this stage can be quite difficult for both partners.”

Jonathan nodded. He had heard colleagues and his wife talking about these things.

“So you’re keeping yourself busy? Away from home?”

“Yes. That’s it. Keeping, umm... _busy._ I had better be on my way; I am expected at the nursery shortly.”

As he walked out of the park and headed for the bank of lifts, Loki felt a slight thrill; he was in new territory, even for him, and he was rather enjoying it. Up until now he had deceived occasionally, for fun, or simply to get his way. Scheming was inherent in his nature, and all who knew him were aware of it. He liked to surprise people, and sometimes play tricks. But he had never been quite so openly dishonest with Hannah before, not even for her benefit.

_But needs must..._

_And I am the God of Lies, after all_

********

“Well, ladies…” Amanda looked around the table, “It’s clear that we need more time, all of us, to absorb this. And to collect our thoughts. Am I right?”

Heads nodded. Janet looked pleadingly at her from her seat opposite; her fear was they might decide it was too difficult, so she wanted a definitive decision as soon as possible. The Council members had been sent an outline of Johanna’s work before, and last night they were all given the fully updated information. But it had become obvious quite early on in the meeting that everyone was still rather stunned, now it came to actually making a decision about moving on to the next stage. Miriam’s voice broke the slightly awkward silence.

“Can I suggest that we ask Claire to come in with us on this? She is the nearest _OB4_ has to a true philosopher, and let’s face it, this is primarily a matter of ethics.”

“Yes! Excellent idea… I’ll get on that as soon as we adjourn… And it’s just occurred to me that it might help if we each try to focus on different aspects.” Amanda began tapping on her tablet. “Rather than, you know, get overwhelmed by the whole thing… I’m not saying that you can't think about and make suggestions in any or all areas, but, you know…. ummm, right, done, _I think…_ ” She scanned what she’d typed, then sent it to the others. “Is that agreed?”

Mary looked at the screen: she’d been allocated ‘ _PLEBISCITE?_ ’; Miriam had been given ‘ _ETHICS OF EMBRYO SOURCING AND HANDLING_ ’; Charlotte was being asked to look into the legal and political implications, under the heading of ‘ _SOCIAL/POLITICAL DIFFS_ ’ and Janet was expected to research and consider how to educate the population, when the time came: ‘ _COMMUNICATION’_. As usual on _OB4,_ each according to their ability and expertise. The Head of Security spoke up.

“We need to keep a very tight lid on this. I mean, we can't have it leaking out like news of the first _Companions_ did. It’s potentially explosive. Information about this has to be handled extremely delicately.”

Amanda nodded. “Agreed, Mary. I take it that Johanna and her team can be relied upon..?”

“Of course.”

“And that the newest security protocols are in place, Charlotte?”

The Head of Admin who was also in charge of data security, shrugged her shoulders. “We put the new firewalls up last night, actually, but you know it generally only takes a day or two for Loki or Oakley to find a way through or around them.”

She grimaced; the sophisticated software of the original three _Companions_ was a marvel, but it gave the administration a constant headache. It had been calibrated to allow them to constantly update themselves from the giant _BES_ servers as and when required, in order to operate at maximum efficiency as lovers and helpers to their original owner. Henry had no desire to cause trouble, so he had never been a problem on _OB4_. Butfrom the outset, Loki’s penchant for mischief and his thirst for knowledge meant he was always digging around, looking for information. Especially that to which he was not supposed to have access. Oakley was almost as bad. On the odd occasion when they had collaborated, such as when they rigged the lottery in the early days, it had been a complete nightmare.

Charlotte had been asked to amend that part of the code when they made the new _Companions._ The androids made on _OB4_ were capable of swift data absorption and collation, but not able (or minded) to hack into systems off-limits to them.

Janet sighed, looked around the table then took another deep breath. “I assume, Amanda, that you will be asking Claire to consider the biggest question.”

“Which is…?”

“Whether or not we should do this _at all._ ”

Looks were exchanged across the table. In the last few years, the relatively simple days when income, imports and exports, the allocation of food, accommodation, education and work were the main preoccupations of the administration had passed into blessed memory. Now this Council spent its time wrestling with the difficulties caused by a rapidly increasing population and hitherto unknown prosperity for the colony. By and large, they had coped, but this new dilemma was a real test for them all.

And, should the science prove to be correct, so would it be for the whole human race.


	3. Kings it Makes Gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “True hope is swift, and flies with swallow’s wings; Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings.” Richard III, William Shakespeare

_From: **The Pygmalion Dilemma, or How We Treat the Companions** , by Claire Campbell._

_“We have scant facts about Barton European Systems. We know that before the Wars, it was a huge multinational conglomerate which provided automated systems to both commerce and consumers - everything from fire safety, security and domestic management all the way to robotic aids as varied as CAD-CAM, surgical tools and domestic lawnmowers. It was the market leader in AI, which is why, after things began to go really bad, the antibiotics stopped working and the rich retreated to their homes in the hills, it was perfectly placed to provide them with all the help they would need. Automatic, multi-function, self-cleaning homes and if so wished, android servants and, as time went on, nurses and doctors. What better than a custom-made, germ-free medical carer to treat you and, ultimately, ease your passing?_

_What we don't know is the name, or names, of the person or people who had the original idea to make the Companions. Most likely it was a marketing executive, but perhaps it was a bioengineer or even a computing boffin. Chantal Barton, widow of the founder of BES did not seem to know precisely, and they are not identified in the snatches of data we have courtesy of her files. I am told by the geniuses who understand such things that they can detect the different ‘handwriting’ of at least four programmers in the code of the original androids salvaged from Ms Barton’s home. But whoever it was who decided that it was possible and desirable to make learning androids with emotions cannot have imagined what wonderful creatures she was creating. No doubt the initial focus was on providing sexual services; as we know, that remains their core role in the latest generation. But there is so much more to them, both those with the attachment algorithm and those without. Because they learn, and because they can empathise, they exhibit all the behaviours one would expect of a human. And they can be hurt in the same way._

_The acknowledgement of the depth, the intrinsic - yes, I am going to use the word - **humanity** they possess presents us with a problem. Those of us running the Companion Program at the beginning (I accept my own key role in this matter) believed we could solve the moral and ethical difficulty by removing the attachment algorithm. We could thus use them as sex toys without conscience. That was their purpose: to serve women, to please them. To provide affection and pleasure without guilt. It seemed to work well, for a time. But then something unforeseen and magical happened. One by one, some of the learning robots learned to love. _

_Since that first sweet blossoming of romance, experience has shown that this is likely to happen to all of the Companions, eventually, assuming they meet the right person. We have seen too that they are all capable of making close non-romantic connections with each other and other humans of all ages. What is as yet unclear is whether or not they will be prone to the same changes in attachment that human couples go through. In simple terms, could a Companion fall out of love again? This is one of the questions I have been thinking about and which I want to examine in this book.”_

Claire put down her tablet and looked at Freddie. He was gracing her with what she thought of as his ‘patient’ face. Freddie Page was no intellectual: he loved golf and tennis and fast cars; unfortunately, only one of those things was available to him on _Orbital 4._ However, he loved her most of all, so he would listen while she read aloud what she had written, and he would do his best to be interested. She waited for him to speak. Some moments passed.

“Well? What do you think?”

“Do you think I might fall out of love with you, darling?”

His face had taken on a distinct hangdog expression.

“Not you, nitwit! I mean the actives, and all those without the algorithm… the ones who fall in love of their own accord. They worry me…”

“Well, I must say, the chaps I know seem pretty smitten. I mean, old Magnus, he scared us all, didn't he, but that worked out OK, didn't it? The lovely Holly has to sit on a stool to prune these days, her tummy’s so big!”

“Magnus did give us a fright, yes… that’s what got me thinking. It seems that if they can change, if all of you can, but that if, in them, the attachment isn’t so…”

“Permanent?” Freddie got up from his ersatz leather armchair and crossed the room to join Claire on the couch. He put his arm around her, no doubt detecting her unspoken need for reassurance. “Yes, I get you. But you know, old fruit, _you’ve_ got nothing to worry about. You can't get rid of old FP that easily. We Pages stick like ruddy glue!”

A quiet ping signalled the arrival of a message. Claire swiped the screen and scanned the text rapidly. “Oh my… Fuck! I mean, _WOW_!”

“What is it, darling?”

“Oh, I don't think...it’s from Amanda, and marked ‘Strictly Confidential’, Freddie. I'd best not.” He looked offended, as befitted his slightly egotistical personality, but she knew he would not bear a grudge. “I’m going to have to go in the study and take a look at this in detail, love. Can you amuse yourself for a while?”

Freddie glanced at the time projection on the wall, then smiled cheerfully at her. “Still up for a bit of rumpy-pumpy before dinner?” He waggled his eyebrows, making her laugh.

“God, _yes_!”

He stood up. “Righty-ho! I’ll be back by five…” He winked, then leaned down and kissed her deeply, making her reconsider the order of business. But he straightened up swiftly: “...don’t start without me!” He swung his jacket over his shoulder and headed for the door, already sending a message to his pal James about a game of tennis.

Claire watched him go, his gorgeous tight backside looking so biteable in his loose trousers. His arrival in her life had made her feel twenty years younger, and Freddie’s loving attention had reawakened a part of her she had believed lost forever. She almost called him back, but she knew this task she had been offered was vital, so she got up and walked through to sit at her desk. Opening the message on the large screen she began to read.

*********

Hannah arrived back at their quarters after Loki, as usual on a Friday. His half-shift at the nursery finished earlier, and as a matter of course, he would start preparing dinner. She could smell garlic, tomato and oregano, telling her that he was making something in the Italian style. As she had worked through lunch, her stomach rumbled loudly as she closed the door.

“Ah, my dear, you are home. I am afraid that the sauce will need at least another forty-five minutes. What can we do to pass the time, I wonder?”

Loki was wandering across the living area twirling a cloth around his finger, looking distinctly naughty. Hannah rapidly decided that however hungry she was, some things were more important than eating. As he reached her and stood looming over her, she dropped her bag onto the carpet and clasped her hands around his long neck. She spoke quietly into the hollow of his throat.

“I was rather hoping you were going to make up for lunchtime.”

She looked up and saw a flicker of something unfamiliar in his expression. It looked like uncertainty. He quickly recovered, however.

“Excellent plan, my darling. Now,” Hannah gasped as his long arm reached behind and pressed her against him, “what is your pleasure this evening? Something light and fast…?” He slid his other hand down between them and squeezed her mound gently, making her eyes roll shut momentarily. “ Or would you prefer a long, slow simmer?” He dropped to his knees and nudged at her with his nose, his hands beginning to unfasten her trousers as her knees shook with desire. Hannah leaned down and took hold of a handful of his hair, making him look up sharply.

“Both… starting with the slow… now.”

Loki finished the task and she stepped out of her lower garments. She rarely wore knickers now, as he usually scolded her if she did. He ducked under the hem of her tunic and breathed softly over her damp sex. She pulled his hair again, making him moan into the flesh of her thigh. Hannah loved the feel of its black silkiness against her skin, contrasting with the light stubble of his cheek and the wet, scalding touch of his tongue. He teased and tickled, she giggled and he chuckled darkly against her, and when he tasted her she almost fell, staggering on shaking legs.

“Sit.” His voice was muffled but clear enough. She took a step to the side and collapsed on the couch; Loki retained contact with her vulva and the split second she was seated he pushed her knees up to gain better access. He sucked gently, he thrust his tongue inside her; he swirled around, finally settling on the area around the hard button of her clit. Her hips rose and she ground against him, moaning and begging for more. His low laugh sent quivers of pleasure running through her. “Oh no, my Lady, this is the _slow_ part…”

“Fuck that…!”

He pushed a long finger inside her and pressed on her G-spot. It was enough in her heightened state, and she clamped down on him, a great sigh leaving her. He smiled to himself but kept up his stimulation, bringing her back to the brink and over twice more before relenting. He sat back on his haunches and fixed her with his signature burning look as he slowly licked his finger clean.

“Mmmm...delicious. Now, shall we conclude with the ‘light and fast’ course?” 

Hannah sat up suddenly and attacked the buckle on Loki’s belt. He had taken to wearing simpler garments for his duties and she thanked him silently as she freed his hard cock in seconds.

“Come here.”

She leaned back and he covered her body with his. She watched him closely as he slid into her, making her twitch with pleasure once more as she was filled, steadily and remorselessly. His eyes closed and a sort of serenity came over his face as they both sighed contentedly. He kissed her mouth tenderly and she nibbled on his lower lip, something she knew he loved. Loki sighed again.

“I apologise for missing our regular rendezvous today, my darling.”

His hands were exploring under her tunic, and she did the same for him, stroking the cool hard flesh of his powerful back

“That’s alright, Lokes… but by my calculation, you owe me at least one more orgasm.”

She grinned as his jaw clenched at her use of that particular contraction, but he seemed to forget all about it as he began to swivel his hips and grind into her, soon giving her what she felt was her due. A bell rang in the kitchen; Loki turned down the heat under the pan remotely, taking his time and drawing a sixth climax from Hannah before allowing himself that same luxury. They stayed as they were for a few minutes, Loki’s head resting on the fabric over Hannah’s breasts as their breathing and pluses returned to normal. Hannah loved that time - the peace of it, the calm after the storm of their passion. He was always so very beautiful in the afterglow. But today she felt something was different about Loki. He seemed unsettled; all was not quite as it usually was.

*******

Amanda arrived home to find the baby lying in her day-crib in the living area, next to Oakley’s desk. He was hunched over a tablet, apparently reading (although he might have been writing; he could do both without touching the screen). Dinner was cooking; the unmistakable perfume of pizza filled the air. She paused to take it all in. Her Oakley - young, impulsive, _randy_ \- might not be a real human male, but theirs was an equal partnership. The only difference between it and a marriage between two humans was the complete and utter reliability of her ‘man’: she knew he would never hurt her, and would put the welfare of her and her child ahead of his own, without hesitation should the need arise. He was not perfect - he had annoying habits, and was often childish to the point where she felt she had two infants in the household. But his devotion was firm and unwavering.

Her extensive reading of history and literature told Amanda that _real_ men, as a group, were not like that. Some were, of course, but it was nowhere near universal. In the 200-odd years since the Earth was abandoned and women had been living without them, there had been no war, little conflict and, in fact very little unrest at all. There was the occasional protest on other colonies where resources were less fairly distributed, like on _Lunar Prime_ , which was still run largely under martial rules. _Mars Alpha_ was prone to crime, mainly because of its high number of the mega-rich; it was the first off-world base, and the primary destination for the billionaires after the Collapse. But the _Orbital Bases_ (originally ten in number, but after fifty years or so rationalised to six) had been set up from the start as full democracies.

Marriages and relationships in the last centuries, while as vulnerable to heartache, infidelity and dispute as ever, rarely involved physical abuse - unlike their heterosexual equivalent had in times gone by. Looking at Oakley’s beautiful, childlike face, it was hard for Amanda to imagine him - or any of the _Companions_ \- harming a woman. But therein lay the risk; the Council had to avoid confusing these paragons of male perfection with the reality. All too often, men had been prone to arrogance, selfishness and violence. The evidence for that was easily seen by looking out of any _OB4_ window that faced the planet.

“Alright, Mands?”

Amanda snapped out of her musing. “Yes, darling. Just thinking how dreadful and useless you are.” She grinned at his hurt expression. “Just kidding, stupid!”

Oakley growled and stood up from his desk, striding over, grabbing her around the waist, tickling mercilessly until tears streaked her face and she begged him to stop so she could breathe. Daisy had watched the initial exchange with wide eyes, but now her mother’s apparent distress had made her begin to wail; a thin reedy sound that made both parents turn to her.

“Oh Daisy-Pops, it’s OK, it’s OK, sweetheart. Daddy’s just playing with Mummy, darling…” Oakley picked up the crying infant gently and kissed her forehead before handing her over to Amanda. “Tell her I was only teasing, right?”

Amanda felt herself near to tears at his genuine concern. She nodded, not trusting her voice. This emotional vulnerability seemed to be persisting - perhaps it was a side effect of lactation. She sat down and began to undo her jacket; a feed would soon settle the baby.

*********

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

Hannah sighed, put down her fork and reached for the water glass. Her face grew red and she shook off her light jacket.

“Another heat wave, my darling?” Loki looked up and smirked at her furious glare.

“No. I like to keep dressing and undressing during meals for the sheer fucking hell of it.”

“I wonder, is the hot food, or perhaps the cider, setting them off…?”

“If I knew that, Loki, I'd be able to avoid them, wouldn't I?”

Loki bit back the sarcastic retort that came to mind. Hannah was suffering, and sometimes making her laugh was not possible or appropriate. He told the OS to cool the room, and the whirr of the fans grew louder as he ordered a flow of air to ease her discomfort.

“Thanks. Sorry.”

He inclined his head. “It is my role to love you and to help you. And I accept that you may be a little… _short-tempered_ when feeling so uncomfortable, my darling.”

Hannah watched him across the table. As usual, he ate sparingly. His android body needed less food as it was much more efficient than hers at using it, and his internal power unit supplied most of his energy. The food served mainly to renew and replace his organic components as they were used up or lost through wear and tear. But this evening he was picking at his meal, eating almost nothing.

“Is something bothering you, Loki?”

“No, my darling.”

“You seem a bit… you’re not up to your old tricks again, are you?”

He looked offended. “What do you mean, ‘ _my old tricks’_?”

“Hacking… poking around where you shouldn’t… causing trouble.”

He smirked, but shook his head. “I am not. I… I concede I may _appear_ a little distracted. I admit that this treatment, the effects it is having on you… it is all vexing me greatly.” He glanced at her and saw she was smiling weakly. “It upsets me to see you suffering, my love. I must say, it is clearer to me now why King Henry became so distressed, in the time before the elder princess was born.”

Hannah reached over and took his cool hand in hers. “Oh, Loki. I’m sure it will be worth it in the end. I mean, look at Nell and Kitty, and Phoebe, and little Daisy… Such joys to their parents...” She felt tears on her cheek ( _this bloody FSH_ ) and saw the emotion in his eyes too. Loki stood up and walked around the table, holding her cheek to him as he stood by her.

“I know, my darling Hannah, I know.”

********

Lying in bed later, wide awake thanks to yet another hot sweat which had her throwing off the covers, Hannah allowed thoughts of work drift across her mind. There was a lot going on, as if the fertility treatment weren’t enough to handle. She was in the midst of negotiating some deals to procure raw materials for a new phase of _Companion_ manufacture. All of the colonies had _Companionship_ franchises now; some wealthy women on Mars Alpha even had their own personal _Companions._ For now, _OB4_ retained the manufacturing rights, and supplied the other colonies in exchange for the mineral and organic compounds needed in the process. _OB4_ had also imposed strict rules about the treatment and use of the _Companions_ : each was restricted to the colony to which they were assigned, and at all _Companionship_ facilities the same contracts had to be signed by clients, to ensure the safety of all. There were rights and feelings to be considered, both human and android. No additional models of the original three found on Earth or of Claire’s _Freddie_ had ever been made; it was agreed early on that it would be undesirable, even if they were on another colony, because of the nature of their attachment. But copies of all of the post-algorithm models were currently operating on _Lunar Prime, Mars Alpha_ and _OB’s 2, 5, 6, 7_ and _10._ In every location, at least one of them had started a romantic relationship with a woman and had to be ‘retired’ from active service. The interesting fact that it was not always the same models that succumbed gave strength to Claire’s theory that eventually, one by one, they would all fall in love.

As a result, the need for new models was constant, even on _OB4_ , where demand had fallen somewhat from the peak of the early days. Many women found that they still preferred female relationships, having experimented at _Companionship._ The _Hiddleston_ range remained the largest, and enduringly popular. To supplement the existing models ( _Caius Martius, Adam, Sir Thomas Sharpe, James Nichols_ \- plus those still active beyond _OB4_ : _Edward, Jonathan and Magnus_ ) Julie, Cate and she had been developing five new ones. _James Conrad_ , a nineteen-seventies ex-soldier adventurer, _Bill Hazeldine_ (for those women who wanted a taste of the fresher, more virginal variety) and thanks to Chantal Barton’s prolonged browsing, three versions of the original actor himself at different ages. Final decisions on the exact models to be made were still pending.

Hannah’s current preoccupation was to add a new range. When they began to manufacture new _Companions,_ the group running the operation recognised the need for more racial diversity. They began by using the data they already had from Chantal, and made two new ranges, based on 21st-century actors Idris Elba (his _Luther_ was extremely popular) and Daniel Dae Kim. But there were still gaps in the market, and not just ethnic ones. They needed to move beyond Ms Barton’s personal preferences.

Extensive market research was carried out, not just on _OB4._ There were women of every colour and culture among the surviving humans, with most able to trace a variety of heritages in their DNA. This ought, if possible, to be mirrored in branches of _Companionship_ too. And not everyone was looking for physical beauty, at least not that alone - not that the existing _Companions_ offered purely that - or indeed, _at all._ With those considerations in mind, Julie had been trawling the archives for suitable candidates. She had come back with four options: the mid-21st century astronaut and test-pilot Billy Garcia; his contemporary, the brilliant mathematician and philosopher, Simon Hernandez; architect and engineer Diego Fuentes (who had designed the original orbiting stations of which _OB4_ and its sisters were a development); and Marco Richter, renowned deep-sea explorer and climate scientist, the man who called ‘time’ on the planet and sparked the rush to off-world living.

Hannah and her small sub-committee were happy that there was enough data in the general drives, in the form of biographies and autobiographies, other writings, broadcasts and witness testimonies to make passable facsimiles of each of these men. They were all attractive in different ways, all fiercely intelligent and talented, appealing and exciting. Feedback from the _OB4_ and _Mars Alpha_ focus groups was broadly favourable, so the finishing touches were being made to the specifications. Hannah was already working on some tentative plans for more such future ranges. As long as there was enough in the files, she was confident that there was scope to keep new and different _Companions_ coming along on a regular basis.

There was one other debate that raged among the group running the _Companion Manufacturing Program_ : should they try to make a _William Buxton_ model to augment the _Hiddleston Range_? Hannah was firmly in the ‘no’ camp. She had seen him, at his last rest as he wished, with his beloved. She felt it would be wrong to make a copy. Others, those with a more commercial eye, could see the business potential of such an attractive and likeable young man. So the argument continued.

That morning a new challenge had been added to her plate: she had received an official request from Miriam, the Medical Director. They had been having meetings about an issue that Miriam felt was becoming a problem in the population: sexual dysfunction. She had been comparing notes with her counterparts in other colonies and was certain that some new initiative was needed. The atmosphere of openness about sexual matters, and the previously unavailable opportunity for heterosexual relations had brought to the surface difficulties that had remained hidden when only lesbian coupling was possible. Miriam felt that a dedicated model of _Companion_ should be developed, purely for the purpose of diagnosis and treatment of patients exhibiting these difficulties. She had even come with a suggestion, a character from the _Hiddleston_ canon that had so far been neglected because of his complicated psyche: _Dr Robert Laing_. Miriam believed that a version of this highly intelligent physiologist could be developed, with his code written specifically for this work. Hannah was not entirely convinced, but had relayed the request to the code-writers for their comments.

It was late, and Hannah was relieved when she felt a welcome chill as the hot flush began to pass. She rolled over and snuggled up to Loki, who moaned softly in his sleep-mode. She still felt he was hiding something, but then, she didn’t share everything with him; that was normal in a relationship. She felt herself falling and let it happen, desperate for rest.


	4. Let Her and Falsehood Grapple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let Her and Falsehood grapple; who ever knew Truth put to the worse, in a free and open encounter?”  
> John Milton, The Doctrine and Discipline of Divorce

Janet was roaming her small quarters restlessly. It was Saturday morning and without going to her office she was at something of a loose end. The concept of ‘the weekend’ was lost to human society for many years following the evacuation of the Earth. Survival in the hostile environments of the Moon, Mars and space was all consuming, and leisure was hardly an option, let alone an issue. But once the first schools began to open, and society was on a more even keel, part of the population started to have some free time. The idea of having two days a week set aside for rest and recreation was reborn.

Janet Kowalska, however, had always struggled with the idea of time off. She was highly conscientious and her mind was always working on problems, whether at her office, in the lab or at home. Once she was appointed Head of the _OB4_ Science Division, that tendency only became more exaggerated; she was always being urged to take time out by friends and colleagues, to no avail. The arrival of the _Companions_ just over eight years ago had made her job bigger, more important and three times as stressful. But still she had resisted allowing herself much in the way of a private life. She had never married, never found love, and up until this particular Saturday, never even partaken of the delights on offer at _Companionship._

Now she had paused in her pacing and was looking at the reminder on her wall screen: _“15.00 - date with Caius Martius.”_ Her stomach did a somersault so violent she felt faint and had to sit down quickly.

“What am I doing?” she murmured to herself.

_Will I be able to…? Do I really want this?_

Her inner voice answered that one instantly: _of course she did_. She had thought of little else for weeks, finally relenting and allowing Gloria to persuade her to take the plunge. She had opted for the taciturn and serious Caius Martius on her friend’s recommendation: The Deputy Medical Director told Janet that he was beautiful, very sexy and endlessly patient, despite his fearsome template character. He had been Gloria’s first, and she still became pink at the recollection.

“Oh god…” Janet felt the butterflies winding up and reached for her tablet: she would read Chantal Barton’s story again, just to get her in the mood and to reassure herself… _Sex_. For the first time. At her age.

_I must be nuts._

**********

Julie was late. She was supposed to be there already, but the baby had woken up three times in the night. She’d slept through her alarm - she never used it usually but Ed was off at soccer training and not there to wake her. By the time she had got washed and dressed, done the same for Phoebe and delivered the still-sleepy babe to Aunty Hannah for a morning of Mummy-practice, it was almost thirty minutes past the time she was due to be at the new facility.

Hastening across the as yet unopened and thus eerily quiet _Verdi Module_ concourse, she didn’t have time to admire the state-of-the-art lighting, the brand-new fixtures and fittings or even notice the beautiful decoration and olive trees which were part of the theme. Julie hated to inconvenience anyone, and despite the understanding nature of the messages she’d received in reply to her many apologies, she was now hot, bothered and furious with herself. At last she reached the entrance to the new nursery.

“So _very sorry,_ everyone! I’m normally not so hopelessly disorganised! Small baby, you know…”

Tasha McClane, the manager, smiled. “It’s fine. We understand, we’ve all been there.” She indicated her staff members, six of whom were standing in a semicircle in the entrance lobby. They were all parents themselves.

“Yes, well, that’s very kind of you. As we’re late, shall we get started right away?” She reached for the small tablet she used for note taking.

“Of course, unless you’d like to have a drink or something first?” Tasha eyed her kindly; Julie looked as if she could use a coffee.

“That would be lovely. Thanks… and I can check out your kitchen at the same time.”

Tasha raised her arm and the two women walked through the doorway to the left. “It was very good of you to give up your free time to help us, Julie. I know it must be precious for you these days.

Julie laughed sharply. “Yes, well, precious little would be an accurate description. I’m doing two jobs… three, if you count being a mother. It should ease off a bit, once you’re up and running.”

“I hope so. We have got quite a few children registered already. Some from your list, I know. And you are getting more staff yourself, over there, isn't that right?”

“Yes, I finished interviewing last week. I’m hoping to appoint two more nursery nurses, and a deputy manager to free me up to do my other work. But I will keep covering a few shifts.” She smiled wistfully as she sat down and took the cup of coffee Tasha was offering her. “When Ed and I started this thing up, we only had three or four kids at a time, in the evenings and weekends. Now it’s grown into a much bigger thing - I had no idea there was so much need.”

“Well, the colony has grown, hasn’t it? There seem to be more single parents, too.”

“And with the greater demand for workers, fewer stay-at-home ones. So now we’ve become an almost full-time crèche, rather than an ad hoc babysitting service.” She frowned. “Not really what I had in mind. I already had a full-time career in the Archive.”

“Well, Julie, let’s hope we can ease the pressure on you guys. As soon as you’ve finished your coffee we can show you round. We’re all but ready for opening on Monday.”

The _Verdi_ nursery was to be the first facility on the module to get up and running. Various commercial units on the concourse were being readied and would be starting to operate over the next few weeks. The first few residents were scheduled to move in starting from Wednesday. There was housing for 500 women and girls, and all the units were already taken. A primary school, a medical clinic and space for a future secondary educational establishment had also been included.

Julie looked around her at the smart, clean kitchen with its banks of bottle-heaters, sterilising equipment and walls of cupboards full of child-size cups and bowls. It had the best, more and newer than the gradually accumulated stuff she and Ed had begged, borrowed or bought for their operation. They had moved to bigger premises a year ago, to make space for the exponential rise in demand, but they always seemed to be running to catch up. She wasn't jealous - of course a new place would have all new stuff. It was just that the cosy friendliness, and the very personal nature of the service she and Ed had begun together seemed to have been lost somewhere along the line.

*********

“Loki?”

Loki looked around, looking slightly dazed. He had been standing over the sleeping Phoebe, still by the couch where Julie had left her in her little travel chair-come-bed. He had not been focussed on the baby, however; his thoughts had been far off, sifting through the reams of data pertaining to Johanna Manske’s research. “Yes, my darling?”

“Do you ever think about the others?”

He tipped his head to one side, in the ‘puzzled dog’ gesture that always endeared him to Hannah. She was still concerned about his apparent preoccupation and had hit upon a new theory.

“Chantal… and the women you… the ones you saw before…”

“Before they set me free?”

She laughed. They had taken to referring to that period as his ‘slavery’, which was a reasonable description. It was certainly true that he was not at liberty to follow his own wishes, although he saw the need for what happened and did his duty. Despite the frequent love letters he managed to smuggle out to her, it was a dark time for Hannah, and she still had the occasional nightmare about it.

“Yes… do you think about them at all?”

Loki smirked and wandered over to stand beside Hannah next to the other couch. He took her hands in his and kissed her softly on the cheek. “I do, from time to time, yes. Chantal most of all. She was my first, you know this-”

“I know, I know… it’s just…”

“You have no need to be jealous, my dear. Lady Chantal decided to choose another. Had she not, I would not be here now. Had she not ordered my construction in the first place, the same would be true.” He paused, making Hannah look up from their hands and into his serious face. “You should be grateful to her.” He smiled that sweet smile that melted her heart.

“I suppose you’re right. But… you _do_ think of the others… you know, the _clients_?” She was beginning to regret starting this, but now she had, she felt compelled to know. Loki’s face hardened a little. _Why was she asking this now?_

“Occasionally. If I see someone, around the station. There were a few, you know, my darl-”

“Yes, alright. And what about our friends? Julie, and Mary… and Cate?”

“I have done my best to put it to the back of my mind. It was a hard time for all of us, but it is long behind us now.” He stroked Hannah’s face. “Do you harbour resentment, because I once made love to them? I seem to recall it was you who sent me to Cate, my darling.”

She shook her head. “No, I mean, yes, that’s true. And you know why. Of course I don't resent them.” Loki kissed her again, on the mouth this time, and the tenderness of it made her feel worse. “I’m sorry. That was unfair of me.”

“What made you ask me these painful things, my dear? Is something worrying you?”

“Only you, Loki.” Again, he cocked his head at her. “You seem so… I dunno… a bit distant at times lately. I was just wondering why, that’s all.”

“ _Hannah..._ “ He fixed her with a look she knew all too well. She had tried his patience. “We discussed this yesterday, did we not? Your suffering distresses me. That is all.”

“Well, I know, bu-”

“Hannah! Enough!”

He sat and pulled her down over his knees, ready to spank her. Uncharacteristically, she struggled and hissed.

“Loki, no… the _baby…_ ”

He froze, his arm already raised in the upward stroke. He had forgotten the child’s presence. _How odd._ “Of course. Then we will return to this later. When we are alone again.”

He lifted her up gently and favoured her with a fierce look. Despite herself and her persisting disquiet, she felt a rush of desire. Loki’s ‘punishments’ were generally more of a treat than an ordeal.

********

“Dr Kowalska, good afternoon.”

The _Companionship_ receptionist was briskly friendly. Her badge announced her as Ruby, and her face was kind. The women who staffed the facility had been carefully selected. Overwhelmingly middle-aged, they were trained to appear completely unshockable, which pretty much all of them actually were. Ruby stood up and walked out from behind the counter with a tablet. She wore the standard uniform of all the human staff at _Companionship_ : grey skirt- or trouser-suit with green and purple trim and a purple chemise.

“Before I take you through, I need you to sign the Client Agreement.” She showed Janet to a small mauve couch off to one side of the plush entrance area and sat down beside her. “I assume you have read and understood it all.”

“Yes.” Janet was feeling very uncomfortable. Heat was rising up her neck and her clothes were suddenly too restricting.

“Then I simply need you to initial each page and sign the final one.” She handed the tablet over.

Janet did as she was asked, horrified at the way her hands were shaking. Ruby, who seemed unfazed, took the tablet from her and carried on, finishing her standard spiel. “As you have read, any and all transgressions are taken very seriously, and may result in permanent exclusion from our services.” She smiled awkwardly at Janet’s shocked expression. “I am obliged to say this to every new client...I mean, I’m sure that _you_ wouldn’t…I know you helped to make the… _right_.” She cleared her throat. “Well, let me show you through to Caius Martius’ room now.”

Ruby stood up and brushed her skirt flat against her thighs. She waited for Janet to join her and then led the way through an automatic door to the right and along a wide, softly lit corridor. The carpet was a soft sage green, and the wall colour varied along the length: purples, lilacs and diverse shades of natural greens. At ten-metre intervals on each side doorways opened off, set in deep, shadowy alcoves. Each had its own character. Some doors were old-fashioned, mimicking historical styles, others were more contemporary in appearance, but in striking colours or patterns. Behind each, Janet thought to herself, lay a different _Companion_ , and with him, a different kind of experience.

Ahead of her she could see a turn and they continued around it, passing on the left a wide, apparently wooden door painted a deep crimson. _Blood red. That must be Adam’s._ The passage was coming to an end and the remaining set of doors on the right had to be her destination. They were beautiful: intricately painted in bright colours, with scenes of Roman feasting on one side and soldiers in stylised combat on the other. The edges were garlanded with oak leaves and floral motifs. She stood transfixed, taking in every detail until Ruby quietly cleared her throat.

“This is the General’s room, Dr Kowalska.”

She tapped a panel and the doors swung inwards. Janet quickly turned to say something but all she saw was the woman’s rear view disappearing around the corner. Suddenly fearing this was a terrible mistake, Janet was frozen to the spot as a tall, muscular shape emerged from the dimly lit interior. A soft, dark voice spoke, making her whole body tingle. “You must be Dr Kowalska.” He extended a hand and she saw one of her own reach up and take it. “Caius Martius at your service, my lady.” He kissed her knuckles. “Please, come in.” He turned, extending an arm and after a moment’s hesitation, Janet took it.

Her nervousness soon retreated as curiosity and fascination took over. When _Companionship_ was being planned and constructed, she had been focussed on the preparation of the androids themselves, so she had only marginal awareness of the environments that had been designed and dressed by others. Now she saw how wonderful their work had been. She was in what looked to her untutored eyes every inch a Roman Patrician’s bedroom. To one side was a sitting area, furnished with couches and low tables. A few aged-looking terracotta busts were on stands - portraits of gods, not emperors, as Caius pre-dates the Empire - and decorated vases and bowls stood on every surface, some with flowers or fruit in them. The walls of the room were painted in a similar fashion to the external doors, with trees and swooping birds over scenes of gods and goddesses disporting themselves by the Tiber or the Mediterranean Sea. Here and there screens showed views of an ancient city and the hills surrounding it.

As for the resident of the space, he was in a tight-fitting soft grey shirt, open at the neck, echoing the costumes worn in the production of Shakespeare’s _Coriolanus_ from which this particular version of the character was taken. It outlined the muscles of his chest and back beautifully. His powerful thighs were shown off by a pair of snug charcoal-coloured trousers, and brown leather boots and belt completed his ensemble. His stance and manner exuded the warrior he undoubtedly was, albeit a somewhat moderated version, as befitted his current purpose.

Her gaze took it all in - the room, the man - and she sighed with contentment, but then her survey reached the shadowy corner where the bed was and Janet was reminded why she was there. It was a simple three-sided box but ornamented with a beautiful embroidered cover and pillows. Her heart had started to beat way too fast again. She felt light-headed and it must have shown, because Caius guided her to a couch.

“Please, sit. Would you care for something to drink, my lady? Wine?”

“Ummm… yes, thanks...er...”

“Of course.” He reached for a large jug and poured some into a greenish glass goblet. Janet downed it greedily. She put the empty vessel down, only then noticing that her other hand was still holding convulsively onto her bag. A soft buzz from inside it signalled a message had landed on her small tablet.

“Oh, I’m so sorry… I meant to switch that damn thing off… hold on.”

The screen showed a message from Loki, tagged _‘Personal’_ and _‘Urgent’_. Mildly irritated but simultaneously relieved to be on firmer, more familiar ground, she looked up at Caius.

“I’m afraid I just need to read this quickly. Sorry.”

His face was neutral and he said nothing, simply nodding and opening a hand, palm up. _As you wish._ Janet turned away slightly and opened Loki’s missive. Scanning it she became very annoyed.

  * **_I wish to speak with you urgently. I have a matter relating to H’s fertility treatment I must discuss with you before it proceeds to the next stage. LL._**



She breathed steadily for a moment. _How typical that he should take this kind of liberty; he must know I’m not at work._ Deciding to be civil, she tapped in brief response.

  * **_I am not working today and this is my personal message log. Please make an appointment in the usual way. JK_**



Her face must have betrayed her feelings because Caius had a concerned expression when she looked up.

“Bad news?”

“No… simply something that could have waited until Monday.” She switched off the device and put it away.

“Can I take that for you, Janet?”

She passed Caius the bag, smiling gratefully. “I’m sorry… it’s, er….this is my first time here...and I forgot about...er....”

He shook his head as he walked over to a low cupboard by the doors and stowed her bag inside. “Do not trouble yourself. There are no fixed rules about how this will proceed, and no rights or wrongs beyond those outlined in the formal contract to which you have already agreed.” He returned to where she was, this time sitting beside her. He was close enough that she could smell him and feel his heat. “So this is your first time?”

“It is, um...yes.”

He moved a little closer and turned his upper body to face her, his hands now resting her upper arms as he looked into her eyes, his expression serious but benign. The gesture seemed to ground her, and she felt more at ease immediately. They stayed that way, Caius saying nothing until she became accustomed to it and began to relax. Janet noticed that their breathing was in synch, although she was still acutely aware of all areas of contact between their bodies.

“There is no need to be nervous, Janet. I am here for you. We will do only what you desire.”

She watched his mouth as he spoke, feeling the words as much as hearing them. When he said ‘desire’, she shuddered involuntarily. 

Caius kissed her cheek, his nose brushing her earring as he breathed in, inhaling her perfume subtly. It was a mere brush of lips over skin, but incredibly seductive for all that. He leaned over to refill their glasses. When he sat back against the cushions, Janet looked at his lovely face, even more at ease now. She shuffled a little closer, wanting to reinforce the feeling touching him gave. Their legs were touching while she sipped the delicious drink. It wasn’t real wine of course, but the synthetic version was very good now, and it made a change from cider and other fruit drinks. Why nobody had saved the grapevines along with the other fruit seeds and cuttings she would never understand. As the warmth of the alcohol began to permeate her limbs, she sighed and turned her face to his once more.

“I want to kiss you, Janet. May I?”

_So polite. Will he ask before everything, I wonder?_

Instead of answering, Janet simply closed the space between their mouths.

It was how she had imagined. In her youth she had kissed women, and this was much the same, except this time she felt none of the puzzlement and discomfort she had then. This time the feel of his lips on hers, the touch of the tip of his tongue and the taste of him was everything she needed. He was gentle and did not press her to deepen it, just allowed her to caress him back as he did her, responding, touch for touch. Then he withdrew slightly and looked into her eyes.

“You have a bewitching way about you, Janet.”

She blushed. His eyes were so familiar - the same as all the _Hiddleston_ range. Grey-blue, shifting in colour, intense; in his case, hungry. Unsure how to respond to his compliment, she lowered her gaze, taking in the details that she had checked and admired before. She had watched him, when he was being made in the Growth Room, forming and refining. The freckles, the tiny scars that only intimacy would reveal to another; the pale sheen of his skin where it stretched over his collarbones; the tempting dip of the hollow of his throat.

She felt the tips of Caius’ fingers touch her collarbone and she looked up into those mysterious eyes once more.

“I want more of you, my lady. May I kiss you again? May I touch you?”

She nodded, and this time he took the initiative, pressing her into the couch as his lips and tongue explored a little deeper. She whimpered and felt him grunt with satisfaction. Needing more, feeling the rush of lust and something else she could not name, she reached for his hand and brought it to her breast. He gently unfastened her shirt enough to allow his hand to slide inside. His first touch was like his first kiss: gentle, tentative; he was watching her reaction carefully. Janet still felt awkward, unsure what to do, where to put her own hands. Caius released her mouth and again locked eyes with her, his forehead on hers.

“Tell me, my dear, would you be more comfortable lying down? We don’t need to do anything more than we have been, of course.” He smiled, a sweet sight that melted her heart and made her fluttering stomach settle slightly.

“Yes, thanks...that would be...I…”

_Who is this person? This gibbering wreck? I am an experienced scientist, a professional_

He stood up and took her hand, leading her to that welcoming bed in the corner. Janet stepped out of her shoes and slid on, into the silky softness of the coverlet. Caius sat beside her and untied his laces, pulling his boots off and then swinging around to face her. Janet reached out and put her hands on the hard muscle of his forearms where the skin was bare. He was warm, strong, _powerful._ As she looked at his face, his eyebrow rose up and his mouth formed a half-smile.

“Now, now, there is nothing to fear, Janet. _You_ lead here; for now, this general is your servant.”

“Oh, was I ...do I look afraid? I’m not, not _really…_ I-I-I...it’s just that I’m not sure if I can manage to, you know…”

“Shhhh...”

Janet caught his neck and pulled him to her mouth, desperate to feel that delicious sensation again. And she pressed his hand against her breast, arching her back to increase the pressure. His thumb found the hard pebble of her nipple, brushing it through the fabric of her bra. She moaned; a deep, soulful sound that she barely recognised. The feeling had caused a deeper longing and she found herself pressing her hips towards his leg as he lay beside her.

Afterwards, when she was walking back to her quarters, she reflected on how perfectly he had matched his actions to her needs. She was not ready - not that day - to make love. But she was ready to learn what she liked, what made her feel good, what she did not want and how to reach the state of comfort and ease with him that would lead on, eventually, to more. Caius had kissed her, and his calloused fingers had fondled her through and, occasionally, under her clothing. He had stroked her boobs and her backside, and held firm while she rubbed and, after a while, rutted against his powerful leg. She was not ready for more, and as he had promised, he went only as far as she could. But still, with his beauty and strength, gentle coaxing and delicious kisses, he had made her come.

She didn't think she could be more blissful than when she had opened her eyes and seen his face watching her as she recovered. On her way out, she had booked her next date for the middle of the week.


	5. Therefore May Be Won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She is a woman, therefore may be woo’d. She is a woman, therefore may be won.”  
> William Shakespeare, Titus Andronicus.

The bedroom was still dark, but Claire had been awake for some time; at least two hours, she thought. She had not got much sleep since she had read Amanda’s message and begun going through the data that accompanied it. Freddie stirred a little in his android sleep and she shuffled closer to him, feeling his warmth and listening to the gentle rhythm of his breathing. Her head was still spinning. What she had been asked to advise the Council on was so huge, so potentially revolutionary for all of womankind she was still reeling from it. And it had implications for Freddie and his fellow _Companions_ , too.

She had been working hard, all weekend, researching, reading and making notes. And thinking; Freddie had complained, more than once, that her head was somewhere else. He was right. She had been trying to get to grips with the issues that viable male babies would bring with them. There were so many she hardly knew where to start. The methods, the risks, the possible - no, _probable_ \- harm caused by human trials paled into insignificance when set against the potential dangers of success. Everyone knew what had happened when men had last been around.

Which is not to say it was inevitable that the same would occur, should a new generation of men come along. These putative boys would be born to women with a very different perspective from before. The environment they would grow up in would, in itself, teach them the danger of repeating past mistakes. _Would that be enough to offset the risks? How important is nurture, as opposed to nature?_ So the question she had been asked to examine, that is, _should_ the research continue, was actually a very challenging one. _Is, or rather, was the male Homo sapiens intrinsically ‘bad’? Could it be possible to bring boys up to be exclusively reasonable, useful members of society? Or is testosterone, as was often said before the collapse, a poison?_ She was still not sure of her own position, but at least she had a place to start the discussion.

Reaching to her right, Claire slid her finger over the panel so the lighting increased just enough to enable her to make out Freddie’s face. He was turned towards her, his hand on the pillow by his head, an expression of contentment in his handsome features. She smiled as she noted the curve of his eyelashes against his skin, the ridge of cheekbone; the strong line of his jaw. He was her world – _the whole of life,_ as his lover in the movie his character came from put it; she knew that for Hannah, Cate and the others who had made lives with their ‘men’, the same was true. A chill ran over her. That was another aspect of her unease. _How would ‘real’ men view the Companions? As rivals? A threat?_

Suddenly frightened by all the possible implications, she slid down under the covers and snuggled up to Freddie, lifting his arm and putting it on her own waist as she rested her head on his firm chest. This woke him from sleep mode and he smiled dreamily down at her.

“Mornin’, love.”

“Hello, beautiful.”

He grinned, his eyebrows raised, a sparkle of amusement in his grey-blue eyes.

“Well, that’s the way to start a Monday morning, I must say.” His expression morphed into something wickeder. “Come ‘ere.”

*********

Janet was irritated but not surprised to see Loki standing in the corridor outside her office on Monday morning when she arrived. She was not free to see him until the afternoon and he had been told that, but previous experience had taught her that the God of Mischief was not keen on taking ‘no’ for an answer.

“You are rather premature, Loki. Our appointment isn't until 15.30.”

He smirked, as if to imply the rules didn’t apply to him. “So I was told by your, um…” He waved an elegant pale hand in the direction of the Science Division Secretariat down the hall, “But your first meeting is not for another 45 minutes.”

Janet swallowed her anger. “Setting aside how it is you happen to know that, you must be well aware that my responsibilities extend beyond sitting in meetings and receiving visitors _at the appointed times.”_ She glared at Loki who seemed unperturbed. “You will have to come back later. I assume Hannah will accompany you then.”

“What?” Her words had thrown him, it seemed. It was an unfamiliar sight. “No, er...she, um... I shall come alone.”

Janet sighed. She still made no attempt to enter her office; she did not want Loki to follow her in. She doubted she could make him leave easily. “Then I am afraid it would be a waste of your time and mine. I can’t possibly discuss Hannah’s treatment with you in her absence.”

“But this is about something… I mean, she doesn’t-”

“Loki, if Hannah is unaware of this meeting then I am sorry but I must cancel the appointment. Go home, talk to her and make another. For _both of you._ ” Janet was stern, and hiding not a little confusion. Surely Loki knew all this? What could he possibly want to discuss without Hannah in the room? Apart from the ethical bar to such a thing, that had to be against his core programming. Not to mention he had obviously been poking around in the files again, despite the new firewall. She decided to have a quiet word with Miriam and Charlotte before or after their meeting.

Loki was dumbfounded. He hadn’t thought this through at all, having been too focussed on how to arrange to get what he wanted to happen. It wasn't like him not to have covered all his bases, and it confused him that he had made such a simple error. He bit back the choice words that came to mind and opted for a curt nod. He walked out, back towards the lifts, already formulating a different plan.

*********

“ _Mimi_ … _my Mimi_...”

Jonathan’s breath was hot on her belly, his hands reaching for her breasts, his hard muscles propelling him up the bed. Miriam squirmed and settled as his handsome face came level with hers and he kissed her mouth so she could taste herself on his lips.

“Jonathan… I love you.”

“I love you too, so much, my darling... _ah_!”

Her eyes fluttered shut as he filled her, and she clung to him, his heat and hers mingling, their hearts in time.For a fleeting moment, Miriam thought of her old life, before Jonathan came to see her in her office that day and everything changed. Of waking alone in her bed, of pleasant evenings with friends that ended with the return to a lonely room. Of a time when there seemed no prospect of change. Then she felt Jonathan begin to move his hips and she forgot it all, unable as she was to think clearly about anything except how she was the shore and he was the rising tide. There was so much on her mind, and so many important things to do today, but none of it mattered for now. For now, they were in their special place, in this precious, intimate time they shared. His strong hands rested under her shoulder blades, steadying her as his tempo rose. Their moans became louder too, and Miriam felt her mind break loose and drift upwards as pleasure suffused her body again and all her focus narrowed down onto the gathering tension in her belly.

“Please, _please_ , Jon…”

His fingers found her and her back arched as the sweet explosion burst inside her. Jonathan’s gasps and grunts told her he had reached his own completion and they stayed as they were, panting and cooling.

“God, I love you, _so much,_ my Mimi.”

Some time passed before the soft ping of the alarm reminded her that however reluctantly, she had to get up and get ready for work.

“Stay there, darling. Your shift doesn’t start for hours.”

“True, but I’ll walk you to work. I fancy a swim this morning.”

Miriam did her best to sweep aside thoughts of water droplets running down his firm abdominals, and wet swimming shorts clinging to his taut muscles, and dripping on white sand, getting to her feet with an air of regret. “That sounds heavenly!”

Jonathan smiled slyly. “Sure you can’t join me?”

She shook her head sadly. “No. This morning’s meeting is sort of important, love.”

He rolled over and watched as she walked to the door. “Is it something to do with Loki, by any chance?”

Miriam paused, a little puzzled. She rarely discussed work with Jonathan, and almost never revealed anything about Council business. “No. Why do you ask?”

“I saw him on Friday, looking a bit, well, out of sorts. When I spoke to him he brushed it off, but I just wondered, that’s all.”

Miriam frowned. Was Loki up to something, perhaps? She made a mental note to call Hannah later. Turning, she gazed at her husband, who looked so delicious she almost decided to go back to bed. “Well, whatever is bothering him, he is not on our agenda today.” She smiled at him. “I must get going, darling.”

********

The Council met in the Meetings Room, just down the corridor from Charlotte’s office. Colony Administration had undergone a complete refit after Claire retired, to reflect the new power structure. As there was no longer a full-time Commander, but rather a collective group, one large office was inappropriate. In its place, a suite of rooms had been installed to allow for Charlotte as _Head of Admin_ , and Amanda as _Council Chairperson_ , to have their own individual workspaces large enough for confidential meetings, as well as one larger conference room for both Council and subcommittees to use.

The _Chairperson’s_ office was across the hall from the Meetings Room. Amanda was theoretically only there for part of the working week. She still retained her position as _Head of Tech Procurement and Research,_ although she had handed some of those duties over to Hannah. Heading the Council was becoming more and more time-consuming, and she was finding herself behind this desk rather than her old one for longer and longer. She was just coming out of her door when Janet appeared in the hall and waved.

“Hi Amanda! Can I just have a quick word before…?”

“Of course.” The two women ducked inside the door and allowed it to slide shut.

“I just had a visit from Loki.”

Amanda raised an eyebrow. “Hardly unusual.”

“No, but he knew what time this meeting was starting. Obviously he’s got around the new firewall already.”

Amanda ground her teeth. “Oh, for fucks- _SHIT_!”

Janet looked at her grimly. “Yes, _precisely._ I was going to talk to Miriam and Charlotte about him, because apparently he wants to talk to me about Hannah’s treatment, but _without her being there,_ which worried me. But then, on the way here it occurred to me that he might have-”

“Found out about the research.”

“Exactly. Which might well explain why he wants to see me… but still raises the original question that was bothering me.”

“Which is?”

“It should be against his core programming to go behind Hannah’s back. About a matter of this kind, I mean. It should be, basically, _impossible_. We’re not talking about a prank or a trick here, are we?”

Amanda’s brain was working hard, trying to think what to do about all this when her tablet, which she was holding against her chest, vibrated softly. She tipped it to look at the screen. “Oh, _perfect_! Now he wants to see _me_!” She swiped the screen to clear it and looked into Janet’s tense face. “I think I might have to add this to the agenda for the meeting. And I suppose I had better meet with Loki and see exactly what it is he wants...Oh, as if this wasn't difficult enough already!”

They left Amanda’s office and crossed the corridor as Claire was arriving. Mary, Miriam and Charlotte were already in the room. Amanda put her things down on the table and cleared her throat. “Good morning colleagues. I’m afraid there have been a few alarming developments that Janet has just filled me in on and I need to add something at the top of the agenda. If we could get started right away…?” The others sat down and looked expectantly at her and Janet. “It seems, Charlotte, that the new security has not worked. Loki is - _we think_ \- almost certainly already privy to the matter we are discussing this morning.”

After an hour, Amanda called a halt to the discussion. They had agreed on a way forward regarding what was being referred to as _the Loki Situation,_ but in light of it, the larger moral and ethical debate that was the original purpose of the meeting had been shelved for the time being. Amanda had made an appointment to see him at 14.00, and she was intending to escort him immediately afterwards to the _Companionship_ tech areafor a full examination. Charlotte was ready to brief the software technicians and Miriam was going to attend in case she was needed to follow up any biological malfunctions.

*********

_Fuck! This is even worse than-_

“I _demand_ it, Amanda. Surely you can see it is my rightful position to be the father of the first prince in this new dawn of man?”

“Loki, please, sett-”

He was pacing the room, wearing his full ceremonial armour. Only the horned helmet was missing, and his long, glossy black hair swished as he swept back and forth in the limited space available. He was taking long strides and moving rapidly, but with his accustomed grace.

“ _Prince_ Loki.”

Amanda swallowed her reflex sharp response to that and tried to measure her words carefully. If Janet was right and Loki was suffering some kind of malfunction at a base level, she had to be wary. He was immensely strong, and he was obviously in some emotional distress. Given the behaviour he was exhibiting, there was no knowing what he might do if provoked. “Forgive me. But surely you can see that this research is still at a very experimental stage. We are nowhere near the point of being able to offer even the possibility of a healthy male foetus to anyone.”

“But _somebody_ has to be the first…”

“Yes, of course, _eventually,_ but under the circumstances, I don’t think Hannah should-”

He suddenly stood still and straight, fists at his sides. “That is up to me!”

Amanda glared at him. “No, Loki.” She flinched a little at the blazing look she got in return for that, but she stood firm. “As you well know, it is up to _Hannah_.” She noted with some satisfaction that he was unable to keep his eyes locked on hers, but instead looked away and began to pace again, his hands wringing as they had when he first walked in.

“But I want...I _need…_ ”

“Loki, I don't think we should continue this conversation now. I want you to go to the _Companionship_ lab for a few tests.”

He turned and with two strides of his long legs he was looming over Amanda’s desk again. “Whatever for? I am functioning perfectly!”

Keeping her nerve, she held his gaze. “Actually, I don’t believe you are, Loki, and in any case, you are overdue for a check up.”

Loki sat down in the guest chair suddenly, confused. Part of him was telling him she was right, but a louder part was shouting that this mortal had no right to deny him his rights or to tell him what to do. He had been feeling like this rather too much recently. It made him forgetful, muddied his thoughts, and he did not like that one bit. _Perhaps an examination was needed._ “Very well, I will submit to this ridiculous process, as you are the leader of the Council.” He fixed her with a burning look. “But we have not finished discussing my original request.” _Harrumph. Demand, you mean._ “I will return at a later time.”

Amanda summoned Mary, who had stationed herself just outside the door with Jonathan Pine. “Please escort Prince Loki to the lab, would you? I’d hate for him to get lost on the way.”

The _Companion_ stood up and glared at her, his jaw working. But if he wanted to say something, he clearly thought better of it and simply turned and waited for Mary to give him the nod. Then he walked out, without bidding Amanda farewell. She watched him leave with Jonathan on his heels and shrugged at Mary’s questioning look. The door slid closed behind them and Amanda released a breath she had hardly been aware of holding.

“ _Fuuuuucck…_ ”

*********

Hannah was hurrying through the crowd on the main concourse. She kept her head down, hoping to avoid anyone she might know. Her heart was in her mouth, and she was nearly blind with worry. Breathing seemed to be a challenge, and so she took only awkward, hiccupping gasps. She passed by the front entrance to _Companionship_ , instead continuing along the wall, heading for the smaller set of doors some fifty metres further on. She tapped the panel and the door opened for her immediately. Mary was waiting just inside.

“He’s OK, Hannah, they say everything checks out so far, but…”

“I knew it! I _knew_ something was wrong at the end of last week!”

Mary put her arm on Hannah’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go and wait outside the lab.”

The two women walked down a narrow corridor that led to a small open area with a few seats. Three large windows allowed onlookers to observe whatever activity was taking place in the various labs in this, effectively the ‘backstage’ area of _Companionship._ As well as being the location of the regular health and technical check ups the active _Companions_ needed, this was where new models and the freshly-born were tested before being sent to other colonies or put to work in the adjoining facility. This afternoon the lights were on in just one of the rooms. Hannah’s eyes scanned the view quickly. She saw Loki by the far wall, on a bed surrounded by technicians and medical staff. It reminded her of the morning after his arrival on the station when she went to fetch him from downstairs. As on that occasion, he was lying on an examination couch, his hands loosely clasped on his abdomen. But his demeanour now was very different. Then, he had seemed rather bored; this time, she could see he was seething with emotion.

“He looks furious. What have they been doing?”

Mary shrugged. “All the usual tests - you know, full medical workup, brain function, muscle strength and so on - but now they have started the psych evaluation.”

“Ah.”

“Yes. Hannah… what’s been going on?”

“At home, with him...between us, you mean?”

Mary nodded encouragingly.

Hannah sighed and pushed a lock of strawberry blonde hair behind one ear as she looked down at her feet. “Nothing out of the ordinary. I mean, I’m having the FSH treatment, so I’ve been getting the side effects… Loki seemed, that is, he’s been a bit distracted, preoccupied, as if there’s been something on his mind, but he told me it was just worry about me… _God_! Has he been _lying_ to me?” She looked up as she said this, and Mary though she’d never seen such a distraught expression. “I know he’s devious, but he’s never-“

“Hannah, Hannah, you mustn’t upset yourself. I’m sure that they can get to the bottom of it. It’s probably nothing serious. His request to Amanda was so outside the norm, she had to refer him here.”

“Request? What do you mean? _Mary_?”

“Fuck… I’m sorry, I thought you’d been briefed.”

“What are you talking about, Mary? I think I’m entitled to know everything, if it concerns Loki.”

“Well, it’s sort of a secret, and if Amanda didn’t tell you, then I don't think I-”

“It’s alright, Mary.” Janet’s gentle, velvety voice came from the door to the lab where Loki was. She stepped out and the door closed silently behind her. “I’ll explain everything. You can get back to your other duties now. I don't think we’ll have any trouble, and if we do, we’ve got two of your people here.” She nodded to the uniformed officers who were standing near to Loki’s bed.

“Right, yes, well...thanks. How about I send Pine back over, or Magnusson, just in case? They should be strong enough, if…?”

Janet nodded, then sat down next to Hannah, who was chewing her lip. She put an arm around her old friend’s shoulder. “Han, love. You know about the team in the Gene Lab who are working on the mitochondrial mutation?”

“Johanna and the others… You mean…?”

“Yes. They are ready for human tissue trials.”

“But what does that have to do with me and Loki?”

“He hacked into the _Division_ message drive. He saw the data, everything that has passed between Johanna, me and the Council. It seems to have set something off in him.” She looked into Hannah’s eyes. “He wanted to talk to me this morning, but when he said it was about your treatment I told him to come back with you. He said…”

“What, Janet?”

“He said you didn't know what he was doing.”

“Well, that was true. I had no idea.”

“Exactly. And so, of course, I told him I couldn't discuss anything to do with you in your absence. I had no idea he wanted to discuss the research, of course. Anyway, it seems he decided to go straight to the top.”

“Amanda.”

“Exactly. He asked her, _insisted_ , in fact… I’m so sorry, because this shouldn't be possible, it’s so against his programming…”

“He wants a son, is that it?”

Janet looked at Hannah. Her face was calm but sad. “Yes. He more or less demanded that you be allowed to try the process Johanna has devised. Of course, you couldn’t, even if you wanted to, because-”

“It’s too soon. And I’m too old.”

“Well, yes. The former, I mean. There’s a long road ahead to do all the necessary testing and trials, even if...and…”

She stopped speaking, because Hannah was crying. Silently, with tears streaking her cheeks but no sound. Her eyes were on Loki, who had spotted her presence and was looking back at her through the window.

Janet cleared her throat. “I’m so sorry, Hannah. I know this is all difficult for you, but the worrying aspect of this is what is happening to Loki. The fact that he should even consider riding roughshod over your feelings, and try to go behind your back about something so important. We think that somehow, this idea has... _infected his thoughts,_ or something. And it seems to be causing some symptoms, some dissonance, you might call it. Emotionally-speaking, and cognitively, too.”

Hannah didn’t turn to look at Janet, but she nodded. “So, is it a software problem, do you think?”

“We can't be sure, of course, but we think it might be, yes. The basic personality program is at odds with his fundamental operating instructions, perhaps. He has always been arrogant, we know that, but up until now, he has always put you first.”

“Does he still love me?” The voice that asked that was small, and so sad Janet almost cried herself.

“Oh darling, of course he does. I mean, look at him now.”

Loki was staring through the glass as a technician carefully divided his hair so she could attach electrodes to his scalp. There was unmistakable love in the way he was looking at Hannah. When he saw her eyes meet his he smiled weakly and raised a hand in salute.

“Then what…?”

“We don't know. We are doing a full psychiatric panel of tests, and Charlotte is working her way through his specs to see if she can understand how this might have happened. It may be connected to the changes that they all seem to go through as they learn. A temporary imbalance… We have seen this sort of thing before, but less extreme. There have been times of emotional distress, like with Henry when Cate was preparing for pregnancy, and Magnus, for example... But we could trace those through their personality coding. This might be simply another case like that, but we have to get to the bottom of it, because-”

“Because we need to be able to trust in their good intentions towards us. Yeah, I get it.”

“Oh Han, I’m so sorry.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“Let the PNs do the rest of the tests, then you can come in. OK, love?”

Janet returned to the lab to monitor the results. Hannah sat quietly and watched as Loki was questioned, shown videos and given a battery of cognitive, reasoning and problem-solving games to complete. She saw him battling his impatience, and every now and then he looked in her direction for reassurance. She gave it, in the form of a smile and a wave. She was worried. That he should want a son fitted with the Loki she knew, but this was more than his habitual hubris. And then there was how he looked now.

For the first time in their years together, it seemed to her that he was afraid.  
  
  



	6. What a Piece of Work is a Man!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form, in moving, how express and admirable! In action, how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god!” William Shakespeare, Hamlet

_From: **The Pygmalion Dilemma, or How We Treat the Companions** , by Claire Campbell._

_“My professional training is in psychology, so, for all their technical sophistication and manufactured perfection, it is the personalities and behaviour of the Companions that fascinates me most. Add to that my years in colony administration, and you see why I find people and their natures so interesting. The longer we spend with the Companions, both individually and as a society, the more we learn about them. And, as was and is intended, the more they learn; about us, about each other and about themselves._

_When the manufacture of new Companions began on OB4, I contributed a series of psychological tests to the initial quality control regime, and others for the follow-up checks once they were active. I used as my models the general types of assessment used for workers in many fields. I did not change the questions much; I saw no need. As a result, over the years we have built up a valuable stock of information, with many clues as to how the Companions develop emotionally. Because we are able to cross-reference this, at least in the cases of those still active, we can begin to theorise about how experiences they have had interact with their base personality programming to make them the ‘people’ they have become._

_What intrigues me is that I can detect little or no overall difference between them and the humans I have studied.”_

It was well into the evening when Janet came out of the lab again. Hannah was still sitting, watching and waiting. “I think we need to keep him here overnight, Han.”

“But-”

“I’m sorry, love, but we still need to do a few more tests. I’ve called Cate. She’ll be here in a few minutes.”

Hannah wanted to argue. She wanted to make a scene and demand that Loki be allowed to go home with her now. But she was exhausted, and the implications of what Janet had told her earlier were beginning to crystallise in her mind. And she wasn’t sure that would be the best thing for Loki anyway. So she nodded and looked down at her hands, clasped so tightly that her nails had dug into her own flesh. She had lost all sense of time, but it seemed like just seconds after Janet went back into the lab that she heard a familiar voice.

“Hannah, my darling, I’m here, I’m here.” Cate sat down beside her and squeezed her arm. “Let me take you home, darling.”

Hannah turned and looked blankly at her dearest friend. She was shaking her head, even though she knew she had to leave. “I want… Janet said I’d be able… I _must_ say goodnight to him, Cate. At least.”

“OK. Let me find out if that’s possible.” She stood and beckoned through the window to one of the psychiatric nurses who were caring for Loki. Or was it guarding? She noticed Jonathan lurking on the left side of the lab, his face as inscrutable as ever. Cate wasn’t certain yet whether Loki was a patient or a prisoner. She had a whispered conversation in the doorway and then returned to Hannah’s side. “She says you can go in for a moment, but try not to upset him. He has calmed down and they want him to rest so they can finish the tests tomorrow morning.”

Hannah stood up shakily and walked over. The nurse, whom she recognised vaguely, took her by the arm and spoke quietly in her ear. Her name tag read _Michelle, PNP._

“He’s settled down, and we hope he will sleep. But he has been asking to speak to you, and we think it’s a good idea. Just don’t, you know…”

“Yes, alright.”

Most of the lab was dark now, like a hospital ward at night, Hannah thought absently. A soft light was lit in the ceiling above Loki’s bed, but the beam was offset, so his face was partly in shadow. He looked very tired; an unusual sight.

‘Loki?” She kept her voice low, as if afraid to wake other sleeping patients. “I’ve come to say-”

Loki’s head snapped around and he half sat up, his arms outstretched toward her. “My darling, my lady Hannah. Will you be able to sleep without me to hold you?”

His voice was breaking, and Hannah started to cry. She took the last few steps and threw herself against his chest as she tried to comfort him. And herself. “Shhhhhhh! It’s OK, it’s OK my love… shhhhhh.” They had not spent a night apart since he was released from his obligations, all that time ago. Loki held her tightly, his lips pressed against her hair, his voice rumbling through his chest directly into her body.

“I will be home tomorrow, I am sure. I am expected...I have to tell stories at the school before lunch… and Edward relies on my help on Tuesdays, Julie is not there… I will...I am sure…”

Hannah looked at him. He looked lost and confused, as Janet had suggested. She glanced around, but the nurses and Cate were in the shadows and she could see no faces. Fear and love fought inside her; was this still _her Loki_? Had he changed? Could she trust him again? Her stomach squeezed and she felt sick. _Can I still have a child with him?_ The bed was shaking and she realised it wasn't her but Loki who was sobbing. Her love won the battle and she adjusted her position so she could kiss his face.

“Shhhh, my love, shhhh. We’ll be OK, you’ll see. Get some sleep. I’ll be back in the morning.”

“I only wanted...I-I-I…”

“Tomorrow, darling. We can talk it all through tomorrow. Goodnight, Loki.”

*********

The room was much as it had been when Cate lived there. A desk had been added, tucked into the corner, but otherwise it was mostly unchanged. Nevertheless, to Cate it felt strange and uncomfortable. She had visited many times since she and Henry had set up home together a couple of floors above, but tonight was not like any of those pleasant social gatherings. Tonight was more reminiscent of the horrible times during which she and Hannah had supported each other; the months when they were separated from their loves. Cate had endured the suffering of being apart from Henry; Hannah had much worse to withstand, as Loki provided his services to a succession of their fellow colonists.

Hannah hadn’t said more than few words since they left _Companionship_ and now she was sitting silent and shocked-looking on the couch opposite Cate, who was trying to think what to say. If what Amanda had suggested was right, and it was possible that an idea, a thought, _a hope,_ if it were profound enough, could set off a sort of episode in Loki, then surely Henry…

“You should go home, Cate. Your childr-”

“They have their father. It will do them all good to manage without me for an evening.”

“But I’m OK. I don’t need you… I need _him._ ” She started to cry again, silently. The sight was heart-rending. “Stupid hormones! I keep bursting into tears for no reason!”

“No reason?! You have plenty of reason tonight, love.” Cate got up and moved to sit beside her friend. She took Hannah’s right hand in hers. “I’m sure they can sort him out, get to the bottom of it. Charlotte’s team are so clever. It’s just a little glitch in his software, or…”

“Is it, though? If this can happen once…”

Cate looked into Hannah’s eyes. She had no answer to that, and it was a terrifying thought. She had no reason to doubt Henry’s love and devotion, but she would have said the same of Loki, even allowing for their very different characters. Needing a moment to collect herself, she stood up. “How about a cup of tea, love?”

Hannah nodded. “Thanks. But I’d prefer a calvados.”

While she hovered in the kitchen, allowing the water to infuse in her own cup a little longer than strictly necessary, Cate pondered. There was nothing to be done; no words of comfort she could offer without sounding trite. There was no denying the serious implications of what was happening, so she resolved to stop mouthing platitudes and simply be a friend. She pulled out her small tablet and messaged Henry:

  * **_Darling, I am going to stay the night here. H is very distressed and I don’t think I should leave her alone._**



He replied immediately.

  * **_Of course. We can manage. The girls wish you a good night. I will see you in the morning my sweet one. Give my love to Lady Hannah. H xxxx_**



***********

It was early, even for Charlotte. She was lying on her back, listening to the faint sounds that _OB4_ emitted all the time: the distant hum of the engines that kept the station in its fixed position; the faint whoosh of the life support system circulating air; the almost undetectable fizz of the lighting. Her eyes were closed, but she was wide awake. She had never been a good sleeper according her late mother, but since her overnight promotion from Commander’s PA to Head of Colony Administration, her life had become very stressful. Her other role heading, at least nominally, the _Companions’_ software team, had settled into a pleasant routine, with occasional bursts of excitement when new models were being devised.

But yesterday all that had changed. Yesterday it became clear that, in one case at least, it appeared the fundamental features of the androids’ programming was not as rock-solid as they had all assumed. The implications were huge and terrifying. From the first days after their reactivation, there had been nothing to make anyone think that Loki, Oakley and Henry were anything but totally devoted to their imprinted partners. From everything Charlotte had read in the original factory specifications, or at least in what had survived of them in Chantal Barton’s personal drives, that was the one thing that should be unalterable about them. They were designed to learn, to evolve, to become more _human-like_ , but that unqualified love was supposed to be the constant.

Charlotte sighed and turned onto her side. Had they become complacent or were they simply overreacting? It wasn’t as if Loki had actually done anything to _harm_ Hannah; at least, not so far. He had always been a challenge. He was made to be clever and devious; sneaky, even. And arrogant and demanding. He was adept at finding his way around any and all security that she and her colleagues had devised to prevent him from snooping into Colony business. Largely, they had given up trying to keep him and Oakley out. Since Oakley’s partner was the Chairperson of the ruling council, it was deemed unlikely that he would misuse any information he gleaned. And Loki had only ever used what he learnt to get around the restrictions when he was made to ‘service’ other women; he made sure he had some time with his chosen lover, even then. What else he had looked at, Charlotte couldn't tell. As far as anyone knew, Loki had not done more than snoop; until now. It had been agreed from the moment Johanna Manske had proposed her research project that any and all data pertaining to it should be given the maximum secrecy. It hadn’t occurred to anyone that a _Companion_ would react so strongly, should one or more of them learn about it. The fact that, apparently, the very concept of having a son had set something off in Loki and made him begin to malfunction…

But _was_ he malfunctioning actually? He seemed a bit confused and forgetful, and, she felt from the video of the tests so far, rather frightened. This was the conundrum that had kept Charlotte awake all night. Was this behaviour caused by an error in his code, or was it simply the next stage in his development? Was his distraction a ‘natural’ reaction to profound emotional upheaval?

Charlotte sat up and reached for her tablet. She made some brief notes to help crystallise her thoughts and resolved to discuss them with Claire once the tests on Loki were complete. If, as her old boss had already mooted, what was happening to him was purely psychologically generated, then things might not be so serious. If, on the other hand, there was a fundamental flaw in the base code, then thousands of women might be at risk. She laughed bitterly to herself. “And we have been worrying about the possible dangers of bringing back _real_ men…”

**********

Janet stood silently in the packed lift. She had checked in with the _Companionship_ techs and the nurses first thing, and all seemed well. Loki had rested and seemed much calmer this morning. But she knew that Miriam and Claire were going to be interviewing him shortly, and the latter in particular was going to have to ask some difficult questions. Somebody behind her coughed and Janet remembered where she was. All the women sharing this lift - everyone on _OB4 -_ could be in danger if there was a basic problem with the _Companions._ Against her will, her inner voice whispered a name: _Caius Martius._

_Our date_

_Tomorrow night_

Janet felt hot suddenly, and looked around. Nobody was looking at her and she relaxed a little. But a knot of tension persisted inside; if this apparent problem with Loki was as fundamental as the worst-case scenario she feared, then everything was at risk. Not just individuals - they could surely remove the _Companions_ from circulation quickly if necessary - but the entire new-found prosperity of _OB4_ was based on the program of their manufacture, sales and franchise. It didn’t bear thinking about. And personally, she felt more than a twinge of regret should she never be in the strong arms and warm embrace of Caius again. Her eyes closed as she recalled the smell of his neck and the feel of his lips on hers.

A soft bong heralded the lift’s arrival at the Main Concourse level and Janet disembarked along with the majority of the other passengers. Pulling herself together, she snapped back into professional mode and headed straight for the _Companionship_ Tech Area. Charlotte had arrived a few minutes before and Janet joined her, watching events inside the lab from the seats outside. Miriam was speaking to Loki, and Claire was there making notes and occasionally asking questions. Janet was pleased to see that indeed, he did seem calmer than the last time she had seen him; in fact, she thought he looked like his normal self. He was sitting up and smiling occasionally. This impression was reinforced when Miriam invited her and Charlotte in soon afterwards.

“Good morning, Dr Kowalska. Please, I hope you will allow me to apologise for my behaviour yesterday.”

_Still so formal, even for him, Not entirely normal then._ “Of course, Loki. I hope you understand that Amanda and I referred you here only out of concern for your well being.”

Loki nodded, but not before his eyes had darted nervously towards the Medical Director and Claire. “Yes, yes, that was perfectly… But all is well, is it not, Dr Sanchez?”

“Now, now, Loki, you can call me Miriam, like always.”

Loki looked down, apparently embarrassed. “Sorry, _Miriam._ ”

“That’s better. Yes, you have passed all the medical tests… And you do seem better, in yourself, this morning.” She turned to Janet and Charlotte. “Loki has agreed to a series of one-to-one sessions with Claire, to talk to her about his thoughts and feelings.” There was a mild grunt from the bed. It appeared to Janet that the patient was not entirely willing. “I will send you my formal report as soon as it is complete, but for now, we are happy that no more tests are required.”

“But I am to remain at home. Or at least, I am not to go about my normal duties.” The words were spat out; Loki was visibly angry and frustrated at the restriction.

Janet smiled at him placatingly. “But Loki, as your work is entirely dealing with children, surely you can see the sense? Until we are 100% sure-”

“...that I do not pose a risk, yes. I understand…But I would _never_ harm them. It is beyond the honour of Asgard, of any of the Nine Realms to harm a _child_! And Edward is going to be very busy… and the girls at the school will be lost without their Norse sagas… And I was teaching the Princess Eleanor how to write runes… I shall be sorely missed!”

“No doubt! But that is the decision that has been made, Loki.” Claire’s voice was kind but firm. “Hannah will be here in a few minutes.”

*********

The four professionals reconvened in Miriam’s office in the Medical Centre an hour later. The atmosphere was calm but sombre. Miriam spoke first.

“I’m signing off on him, colleagues. As far as all the medical and psychiatric measures go, he’s perfectly within normal parameters. How about you, Charlotte?”

The Head of Admin smiled, her rosy cheeks swelling and her eyes bright. “I’ve got my best people going over the code to check, but honestly, everything looks good. I’m 99.99% certain it’s not a software glitch.”

Janet sighed. That, at least, was a relief. All eyes now turned to Claire, who was sitting quietly at the end of the table. She had always seemed to belie her true age, but since Freddie’s arrival in her life, she looked if anything to have cast off even more years. She had an elfin face, accentuated by the short, boyish haircut she had sported since her twenties; today she looked serious but not worried.

“Our first session is scheduled for tomorrow. I expect that Hannah will have some questions of her own for him, and he may well need to talk about what passes between them today.” She looked up and around the table. “I am going to see her as well, later in the week. Separately. I think what we feared was a major problem is proving to be just that, just not in the way we first thought.”

“How d’you mean?” Charlotte was confused.

Claire looked at Miriam for a long moment. “Those of us with _Companion_ partners might see it differently, I suppose. It’s a matter of trust, I think. Now Hannah knows, well… we’ll just have to wait and see how things go between them. She’s going to need… him too, actually… they’re both going to need quite a lot of support from their friends over the coming days, maybe weeks.”

Janet’s relief had evaporated as she listened. Selfishly, her first thoughts had been of her date the next evening; now she fretted for her old friend. And for Loki, for whom she had great affection, despite the difficulties he had caused her. A cold chill ran down her back. _Could Hannah and Loki, the originals, the first ones… could their relationship be at risk?_

Miriam looked anxious, but she cleared her throat and began straightening her things in front of her. “OK, well, if you’re all agreed, let’s make this a regular meeting, every couple of days, until things are more settled? Later in the day, after your sessions, Claire...Is that good for you all?” Heads nodded around her. “Good. I’ll send out a preliminary schedule later today. Right, well… let me know how it goes tomorrow, Claire, will you?”

“Naturally.”

“Excellent.” She glanced at the time readout on the big wall screen. “Well, I’ve got rounds in the clinic now. No doubt we shall all be in touch if....”

The others followed her out, splitting off to their various destinations. All were subdued.

*********

“Let me do that for you, my darling.”

“No! I’m fine!” Hannah snapped, “I mean, I can do it, Loki. Thanks, but it’s fine.” She was hunched over in the bedroom, giving herself her daily injection of Follicle Stimulating Hormone. It was necessary to produce eggs, ready for harvesting. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was bothering now. She was no longer so certain she wanted a baby. But she only had four more days to go of this course, so it seemed like a waste not to continue after all the suffering she had already endured. She depressed the button and the high-velocity spray pierced the skin of her thigh.

“I am sorry, Hannah.”

His voice sounded so odd she looked around. He was standing in the doorway, but not as he habitually would, all arrogant confidence and Asgardian bravado. Nor was there the usual sexiness. He seemed… _diminished_ was the word that came to mind. Had she not been so angry with him, she would have walked over and given him a hug. As it was, she turned away sadly, torn by the conflicting emotions she was experiencing.

“I love you, and I hope that, in time, you can find it in your heart to forgive me for the great wrong I have done you.”

Straightening her clothes, Hannah stood up and took a deep breath. Bringing him home from _Companionship,_ she had been calm and in control. He was more or less silent on the way here, but now he had begun to talk she found her fury rising. _How dare he? What right did he have?_ Rather than lose her temper, she had chosen to be quiet, to wait until she could talk to him calmly about it. But he wasn’t taking the hint.

“I’m sorry Loki, but I just can’t talk about this right now. I need to think for a bit.” She looked into his beautiful sad face and felt herself wavering. But she stood firm. “Please, leave me be for now.”

His disappointment was palpable, but he nodded and stepped away, back into the living room. He watched disconsolately as the door to their bedroom slid shut, separating him from Hannah. For the first time in his conscious existence, Loki was completely at a loss. He had been angry, distressed and even sad before, but this was the first time he could recall simply not knowing what to do. He crossed the room and sat at the end of the couch nearest the small window. He looked down at the planet far below and tried to think. He had attempted to apologise, but Hannah was not ready, it seemed. _I must be patient, then. She will forgive me. She loves me. We love each other._ Tears wet his cheeks, but he hardly noticed.

*******

The Earth was dark when the door to the bedroom finally opened. Loki had not moved from his spot by the window, but when he heard the soft whoosh, he stood up and turned unnaturally fast. His face, eager and full of hope, broke Hannah’s heart.

“We need to talk, Loki.”

“Of course, my darling, anyth-”

“Most importantly, you need to listen.”


	7. Thou Madest Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thou madest man, he knows not why, He thinks he was not made to die; And thou hast made him: thou art just.” Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam.

**_Orbital 4 Medical Centre, Psychology Dept._ **

**_4.12.2309. Wednesday_ **

**_Patient ID: Loki Laufeyson - OB4-A-C-01-LL_ **

**_Course 1, Session 1_ **

**_Referring/Treating Therapist: C Campbell, PhD_ **

**_(_ ** _Transcription of audio recording **)**_

**_CC_ ** _\- Good morning, Loki_

**_LL_ ** _\- Good morning, Commander_

**_C_ ** _\- Call me Claire, please, Loki. And do take a seat_

**_L_ ** _\- Thank you, Claire. But surely you have ‘Commander’ as an emeritus title?_

**_C_ ** _\- Do you know, I have no idea. If I did, I would never use it. But we are not here to talk about me. How are you feeling today?_

_(Pause)_

**_L_ ** _\- I have had better days_

**_C_ ** _\- Are you quite clear on the purpose of these sessions?_

**_L_ ** _\- I believe so, yes. They are an attempt to divine what caused me to behave so unacceptably._

**_C_ ** _\- Is that how you see it? As ‘unacceptable’?_

**_L -_ ** _That is how Hannah sees it._

**_C -_ ** _Do you agree with her?_

_(Pause)_

**_C_ ** _\- Loki?_

**_L_ ** _\- (inaudible)_

**_C_ ** _\- Are you able to continue? You seem very-_

**_L_ ** _\- Yes. I apologise. I find it, um, difficult to articulate my thoughts currently._

**_C_ ** _\- Well, that is why we are here, isn’t it, at least in part? Now Loki, before we start we need to set some ground rules for our sessions, and for the whole course. I will start, and then you can tell me if you wish to add some of your own. Does that seem reasonable to you?_

**_L_ ** _\- Yes, of course. I have been researching this sort of therapy. I understand how it usually works._

**_C_ ** _\- Yes, I’m sure you have. But this is hardly a run of the mill situation._

**_L_ ** _\- Indeed not._

**_C_ ** _\- So, I am afraid that the first few rules are not negotiable. Firstly, you must attend all the sessions until I decide we have completed the course. Agreed?_

**_L_ ** _\- And if disagree with your decision?_

**_C_ ** _\- I hope it will not come to that, Loki, but you must understand that no option is off the table, including decommissioning._

**_L -_ ** _I see. Yes, of course._

**_C_ ** _\- Secondly, you must be totally honest with me. If you are not, the sessions will be pointless._

**_L_ ** _\- I know that._

**_C_ ** _\- But you need to be aware of something. What we say here will remain completely confidential, shared only with other practitioners caring for you, as with any or all medical information, and, in your case, those in the Administration responsible for the Companions. That said, I may find it necessary to break that confidentiality under certain circumstances. Rest assured, however. I will only pass on anything to the full Council that is absolutely vital for the safety of any or all members of the colony._

**_L_ ** _\- But what if-_

**_C_ ** _\- As you know, Loki, the safety and security of humans must be paramount. As far as I am aware, it is your most fundamental directive._

**_L_ ** _\- It is, yes, of course, but what if I disagree with your interpretation of the situation?_

**_C_ ** _\- Then we will discuss it. But as I said before, I must have the final say on this. So, you accept that condition?_

**_L_ ** _\- Yes, I suppose I must._

**_C -_ ** _And are you prepared to be completely open and honest?_

**_L_ ** _\- Yes, I am._

**_C_ ** _\- Good, excellent. Now, as to my other rules, I require courtesy, but I doubt that will be a problem…? Good. And I have not fixed a duration for each session. I prefer us to continue if progress is being made, or stop if we feel a break is needed. These will be mutual decisions, but again, if we don't agree, then I have the final word. You understand why?_

**_L_ ** _\- I do._

**_C_ ** _\- So, Loki, do you have any rules you’d like to add? As you have been reading about this type of thing?_

**_L -_ ** _I have questions._

**_C_ ** _\- Go ahead._

**_L_ ** _\- Precisely which other people will be made aware of what occurs during these sessions?_

**_C_ ** _\- As I said, only the others involved in treating you, Loki. That is normal in this kind of therapy, when it has been prescribed. I am making audio recordings for my records and those will be shared with Miriam and Michelle. You remember Michelle?_

**_L_ ** _\- The nurse who spoke to me with you?_

**_C_ ** _\- Yes. She is the psychiatric nurse practitioner who has been assigned your case. I want her to review the sessions and give me her feedback. She may come to speak to us both from time to time. Is that acceptable to you?_

**_L_ ** _\- I accept it is necessary._

**_C_ ** _\- And the only other people who will be briefed are Janet, Charlotte and Amanda._

_(Pause)_

**_L_ ** _\- And what about Hannah? Will you tell her what you and I talk about?_

**_C_ ** _\- Not unless you are present and agree, subject of course to the same conditions as I outlined before. I will be seeing Hannah too, but separately for the moment. Do you have any more questions, Loki?_

_(Pause)_

**_L -_ ** _Am I mad, Claire?_

**_C_ ** _\- Oh, Loki, we don’t use that word. We are here to find out what is happening in your thoughts. I don't think we can call it mental illness, because if a human had done the things you have, it would only be considered, um…_

**_L_ ** _\- Considered what?_

**_C -_ ** _A personal dispute between you and Hannah, I suppose. A marital disagreement. Bad form, not a sign of psychiatric illness. But because you are what you are…_

**_L_ ** _\- ...then I should not have been able to behave that way?_

**_C_ ** _\- We don’t believe so, no. That’s what I want us to work on._

**_L_ ** _\- That is my wish as well._

_(Pause)_

**_L-_ ** _This cannot continue, Claire. One thing I know I was not made to withstand: the look in her eyes._

**_C_ ** _\- What is it you think you see in her eyes, Loki?_

**_L_ ** _\- Disappointment._

_*********_

“I feel very confused, Loki. And extremely hurt, that you should consider trying to interfere in my treatment without talking to me at all.” Hannah was looking past Loki’s head, unable to bear eye contact. She hardly wanted to look at him at all. “I need to know, what were you thinking? Why, Loki? Do you still want a child? What did you want to achieve?”

Loki swallowed convulsively. She had come out after so many hours, and yet despite having all that time to think, he was no nearer to having coherent answers for her. “Um… I wanted to… I asked Amanda-”

“She told me you _demanded_.”

“Yes, I was very… discourteous. That was… I do not quite understand it myself, but from the moment I read the message I found last week, between Dr Manske and Janet, I could think of nothing but you bearing me a son.”

“But why a son, Loki? Why? You must have known it wasn’t right, what you were doing, or you would’ve come to me first. We could have talked about it, before speaking to anyone else.”

He took a deep, juddering breath. “I suppose you are right. I do not recall considering sharing that desire with you. I was so…” He stopped speaking, and Hannah saw his eyes become unfocused, almost glassy. “It is rather strange. I cannot recall precisely what I did think at that time. I just felt compelled to make it happen, once I learned it was a possibility. Carried off by the excitement of it.”

“But it’s not possible, is it?”

His eyebrows rose. “What do you mean?”

“Not for me, not for anyone. It’s far too early. I have a just handful of eggs left. I can't afford to risk them in an experimental treatment. And I don’t want to. I’m not sure myself if we should even try to bring back men.” She fixed him with a glare, one worthy of the demi-god himself. “I certainly do not want to be the first one to do it.”

“Why ever not?” His voice was rising. “You would be a great pioneer. And, Hannah, surely you can see that your race cannot expect to continue as it is, not indefinitely! Poking cells around in Petri dishes, fiddling with genes in laboratories… There is no future in that for any of you!”

Hannah stared at him. “Clearly, you are not sorry at all. You have not changed your mind. And what is worse, you still don’t think my opinion is important.”

Loki stood up, frantic. “That is not… I mean, I _am very sorry,_ I… I just feel strongly…” He tried to reach for her hand but she turned away from him. “Please, my darling, I did not mean to dismiss your feelings. That was wrong, of course it was. _Please,_ Hannah!” He looked at her, desperate. “I will never do it again, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Loki.”

He flinched at the harshness of her tone. He had never seen Hannah angry in all their time together. “But, my… I _do_ mean it. I can keep it… I think. No, I am certain.”

She looked steadily at him. He looked back, but dropped his gaze quickly. “Until you understand what made you do this, you can’t be certain it won’t happen again.” She turned away again. “And I can’t trust you. I still need to be alone. Goodnight, Loki.”

*********

“You should have taken the day off, Han. There’s nothing that couldn't have waited.”

“No, I’d rather be, you know…” She rotated her chair to face the doorway where Cate was standing. “Loki’s having his first session with Claire.”

“Oh yes.” The younger woman stepped into the small office and pulled up a chair to sit down next to her best friend. “How was it yesterday? You didn’t say much in your messages.”

“Honestly? Horrible. I don’t know, Cate. I don't understand it…I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Oh darling… that’s what Claire is going to find out. I’m sure she will help him.” She sat for a few minutes, holding Hannah’s hand, neither speaking. “Did he say anything? When you got home?”

“He said he was sorry.”

“Well, that’s-”

“But it’s not true.”

“Oh. But-”

“He still thinks I should, you know… But I don’t want to! That should be enough for him.”

“It should, yes.”

“Now I don’t know if I want a baby at all.”

“Oh, Han!”

She pointed to her tablet. “I just had the reminder; my scan is due on Friday, harvesting on Monday if that’s OK. But now…” Hannah’s face was pale and almost expressionless. She thought she had no more tears left, so she watched as her dearest friend cried for her. “Don’t cry, Cate. It’s alright. There are plenty of little girls around.”

“But you wanted one of your own! I wanted that for you, too.”

“Yes. I know. But I only wanted a child because of Loki.”

That did it. Tears began to fall again, silent and bitter. The tiny office seemed to close in on the two women as they held each other, offering mutual comfort but not much else. They had been friends for too long for false hope or soothing lies, so they said no more.

*********

**_Orbital 4 Medical Centre, Psychology Dept._ **

**_4.12.2309. Wednesday_ **

**_Patient ID: Loki Laufeyson - OB4-A-C-01-LL_ **

**_Course 1, Session 1 (Cont’d)_ **

**_Referring/Treating Therapist: C Campbell, PhD_ **

**_(_ ** _Transcription of audio recording **)**_

**_C_ ** _\- Do you recall what you felt when you realised the precise nature of Johanna’s research?_

**_L_ ** _\- I believe so. It was two years ago, and at that stage it was still quite some way from being ready. I saw a message about the success of a preliminary simulation, and I began to investigate further._

**_C_ ** _\- Have you done that often? Looked into research at the Science Division?_

**_L_ ** _\- On occasion, yes. I am interested in human technology. It is inferior to that of Asgard, of-_

**_C_ ** _\- You are aware that Asgard is fictional, though, Loki? You are based on a comic-book and cinematic version of a mythological figure, am I correct?_

**_L_ ** _\- Yes._

**_C_ ** _\- Does that bother you? That it is fictional?_

**_L_ ** _\- No. Do you think it should?_

**_C_ ** _\- No, but you appear discomforted. I don’t recall any of the Companions being concerned about their origins before, fictional or otherwise._

**_L_ ** _\- I am not concerned._

**_C_ ** _\- But you spoke just now as if yours were a reality. There is no actual Asgardian technology, outside that produced from the imaginations of writers, artists and production designers._

**_L_ ** _\- (raised voice) I know that! (quieter) I apologise. I simply meant to say that, being an intelligent, naturally curious person, and having a technological background in my personality programming, I am drawn to scientific matters._

**_C_ ** _\- I see. And you knew that this investigation of yours was unauthorised?_

**_L_ ** _\- Well, yes. But as I have said, I was made to be curious. It did no harm to look. I did not remove or add any data. I simply monitored progress._

**_C_ ** _\- I see, well, to return to your feelings, you did not say what they were. Was there more than just your habitual curiosity?_

**_L -_ ** _I do not think so, not at that stage. I have been interested in the mutation, and the extinction, ever since Hannah explained to me why there were no men here. I wondered if that could be remedied one day. It seemed wrong to me, for there to be no males. Other than we Companions, of course._

**_C_ ** _\- I see. And what about when you saw the most recent information? How did that make you feel?”_

_(pause)_

**_L_ ** _\- Please excuse me. I am unused to sharing such things… Excited, I think. Elated, is that the correct word?_

**_C_ ** _\- OK. (brief pause) I want to ask you about something else now. Do you remember when Hannah first talked to you about having a child?_

_(pause)_

**_C_ ** _\- Are you alright, Loki?_

**_L_ ** _\- Yes._

**_C_ ** _\- You seem emotional. Is it a strong memory?_

**_L_ ** _\- It is._

**_C_ ** _\- You are doing very well, Loki. I know it isn’t easy for you. Please, continue if you can._

**_L_ ** _\- Yes, thank you… (pause) ...I was deeply affected by the conversation, yes. In the preceding weeks I had begun to accumulate evidence that Hannah was considering the matter. She seemed overly obsessed with new babies, especially young Phoebe Knighton. And she made appointments with the Medical Director and Dr Kowalska._

**_C -_ ** _But how did it make you feel, Loki? You say you were affected. In what way? Can you say?_

**_L -_ ** _I felt very happy. Light, and an almost painful happiness...but not in a childish, playful way. I remember feeling as if my heart was being crushed, or bursting, I am unsure which. I wanted to hold Hannah very tight. I had to moderate it or I might have hurt her. And my love for her seemed to swell. It was greater than it had ever been, which I did not believe was possible._

**_C_ ** _\- Why do you think that is?_

**_L -_ ** _Because Hannah loved me in that way. And I understand that for humans, if you love a person, having a family is a natural thing to desire._

**_C_ ** _\- And you desired it? A family, with Hannah?_

**_L_ ** _\- I did. I do. (inaudible)_

**_C -_ ** _What was that? Sorry, I couldn’t hear-_

**_L_ ** _\- I said, I no longer believe Hannah wishes for that._

**_C -_ ** _Has she said so?_

_(pause)_

**_L -_ ** _No, not in those words. But I suspect it strongly. She told me yesterday that she does not trust me. I do not believe that she would consider having a child with someone she cannot trust._

**_C_ ** _\- How did it make you feel, when she said she didn’t trust you?_

_(pause)_

**_L_ ** _\- I still feel it now._

**_C_ ** _\- Do you know what it is? Can you describe it?_

**_L -_ ** _I have words, but I do not know if there is a noun for it._

**_C_ ** _\- Tell me in adjectives, then._

**_L_ ** _\- Heavy. Empty….(pause) Lonely._

**_C_ ** _\- That all sounds very normal. (pause) Are you able to continue, Loki, or would you prefer we finish for today?_

**_L_ ** _\- I would prefer to stop._

**_C_ ** _\- I think that we have made a good start. Tell me, is there someone other than Hannah you are close to, Loki? Another Companion, perhaps. Someone you can confide in?_

**_L_ ** _\- Um… I have talked to Oakley on occasion. I would not say we are friends, however. He is...I cannot be sure he would want me to speak to him, nor do I really wish it._

**_C_ ** _\- Not Henry? He seems more like you in some ways, to an outsider, that is._

**_L -_ ** _The King does not approve of me, I fear. Our women are the closest of friends, but Henry and I are cordial with each other, no more than that._

**_C_ ** _\- Oh dear. Well, would you like me to contact Oakley? Ask him to come and see you? Or would you prefer Edward? Or Magnus? I think you were a help to him when he-_

**_L -_ ** _There is no need. I will do it myself._

_********_

“Come on, Han! Chop, chop!”

“What do you… Where are we going?”

Cate was picking up Hannah’s bag and stuffing her small tablet into it. “I’ve booked us into the new spa in Verdi. I got a great deal: an opening offer. Facial, back massage and mani-pedi for next to nothing!”

Her friend eyed her sceptically. “When did you do this? And I haven’t got time for all that in my lunch break. Neither have you, come to-”

“Details, details… We are both off this afternoon. Boss’s orders. Now, get up! Our appointments are in ten.”

Half an hour later, lying in the coddled comfort of soft towels and incense-scented air of _Violetta’s Spa **,**_ Hannah felt marginally better. Ambient music was tinkling out of hidden speakers, and she was dimly aware of the pleasant voice of the therapist who was chatting as she pottered around, preparing her various nostrums. If a few minutes could help, two hours should bring about a step-change in her mood… But then she thought of Loki, and wondered how his session was going, and her abdomen immediately began to flutter and her jaw muscles tightened. _This has to help._ _Claire has to be able to help him or_

“So, Hannah, are you ready?”

Back in the room, she opened her eyes and smiled at the lovely brown face looking expectantly down at her. “Yes, I am. I really need a bit of a pamper.”

“You’re in the perfect place, then.”

*********

Oakley was simultaneously startled, puzzled and rather pleased to receive Loki’s message. Wednesday afternoons were one of his study periods, and he was at his desk toiling on lesson plans and his latest course assignment. Daisy was fed, changed and fast asleep in her room. Her father had the advantage of not needing to use the monitor system. He simply turned his hearing to focus on her. To any visitor, all would seem normal, but Oakley could hear every inhalation, gurgle and fart, clear as a bell.

He reread the message. It was the tone of the missive that both amused and bemused him:

  * **_If you are unoccupied at any time today, or failing that, tomorrow, might I ask for a private meeting?_**



Oakley pondered the conundrum. He was aware of the kerfuffle surrounding Loki on Monday. Amanda had come home in a state of anxiety, and after quizzing him for some time had closed down the discussion. It all seemed a bit off to Oakley; from what little she had let slip, it seemed that Loki had lied about something pretty serious. He could not imagine going so far that he got hauled over the coals by the Council - for one thing, Amanda would have his balls… The occasional prank was one thing, a bit of recreational snooping, just to keep the upper hand now and then, but to _downright lie_? It was bonkers.

But now, to get a grovelling request from Loki… the same Loki who had sneered so blatantly at him when he arrived at Chantal’s, all those years ago. The same one who had continued his contemptuous treatment once they were both on _OB4_. There had been a slight thaw in relations, but Loki had never tried to hide his belief that Oakley was beneath him, despite their infrequent but entertaining collaborations. Last year, he would have been tempted to tell Loki to fuck off, but the past few months of studying to become a teacher had brought about some changes in the previously brash and occasionally thoughtless Thomas Oakley. Loki must be in desperate need of a friend. And he had reached out. It would be cruel to turn away.

  * **_I’m here all afternoon, just me and the sprog. Come over._**



No point in being too charming, not yet.

*********

Claire decided not to go straight home after her first session with Loki ended. She was calm but still slightly worried, and felt a walk in the park would help. The air was spring-fresh, the apple trees were bursting into blossom and the space was filled with women and children enjoying the freedom of green grass and room to run around. The former Commander was a recognisable figure as she strolled along the path, and was greeted by many who passed her. There was much warmth in the looks and occasional brief conversations, and realising she needed to find a little privacy in order to gather her thoughts, Claire headed for the bamboo plantation where she knew there were plenty of quiet places to sit.

The shady grove was cooler, and as she had hoped, more or less deserted. The only sounds there were the rustle of leaves, the creak of canes and the odd snatch of muffled conversation between the gardeners. Claire found an almost hidden bench and sat down, closing her eyes for a few minutes to centre herself. Once she felt a little steadier, she opened her tablet and looked at the document she had studied closely before the session that morning. It came from the data chip Hannah had brought back from Chantal Barton’s home. The original designers at _BES_ had based their core programming on the author and scientist Isaac Asimov’s _Laws of Robotics,_ but adjusting them to suit their specific needs:

**_Core Rules for the Companions:_**

  1. **_A Companion may not injure a human being, or by inaction, allow a human being to come to harm_**
  2. **_A Companion must obey orders given by a human being, as long as it does not involve violation of the First Rule_**
  3. **_A Companion who is imprinted must put the welfare of his human partner ahead of all else, including his own welfare or existence, as long as this does not violate the first two Rules_**



She looked at the screen, poring over the words. She was beginning to formulate a theory as to what had happened. Things were not so bad, not in the greater scheme of things. But for Hannah and Loki, the question was how to repair the damage to their relationship, if indeed repair were possible at all.


	8. Is Not That Strange?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?” William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

“Lokester, hi! Come in, but please, we’ll have to be quiet. Daisy’s asleep.”

Loki nodded, not even registering Oakley’s new contraction of his name, something that would normally provoke at minimum an angry glare. “We can speak digitally if you prefer.”

“Depends. I find it easier to use English aloud, if we’re talking about, you know, emotions ‘n stuff.”

Loki stared at Oakley’s smirking face. He wrestled briefly with his temper, but managed to control it. His voice, however, when he gathered himself sufficiently to speak, was ominously quiet. “Have you been snooping in my medical records?”

Oakley appeared genuinely offended. “No, I have not,” he said through gritted teeth. “Amanda told me there’d been a bit of a hoo-ha about you. I put two and two together, that’s all.”

Loki blushed, visibly chastened. “I see. Well, I apologise. I am rather…”

“All over the shop?”

The Norse demi-god nodded. “That is a rather colourful way of expressing it, but yes.”

“Tea? Scotch?”

“I beg your…? No, nothing, thank you.”

Oakley folded his lanky body to sit on the soft grey couch. Loki hesitated, his hands wringing, before he chose an armchair opposite and did likewise.

“So, d’ya wanna talk about it? About whatever it is that’s been going on? That why you’re here?”

There was a long silence while Loki did battle internally. He had been horrified at Claire’s suggestion initially, but almost immediately he recognised that Oakley had at least something to offer in the role of confidant. They shared a history: both had been with Chantal, been rejected and then, after two centuries, revived for a second chance. Now both were settled into lives with their new partners, and making themselves useful to the larger community. In fact, Loki had pondered as he made his way to Oakley and Amanda’s quarters, the differences in their personalities might actually be an advantage in this situation. And Oakley was already aware of the scope of the research. He decided to be straightforwardly honest.

“Please forgive me if I appear rather reluctant. I am unused to speaking with others about my personal business.”

“Gotcha. But that _is_ why you are here, so…?”

Loki took a deep breath. “I asked Amanda to include Hannah in the trials for Dr Manske’s research.”

“I thought it might be something like that. But why all the fuss?”

“I miscalculated. I was so sure… I do not really understand why, but I did not tell Hannah what I was doing.”

Oakley’s beautiful unlined face stretched into an expression of shocked horror. “You did _what?_ Fucking hell, Lokes… Oh, _fucking…_ How could you even…?” He shook his head.

There was a long period of silence. Loki could hear the lovely, cosily domestic noise of a sleeping baby. Until now, the gentle snuffles and squeaks would be like music to him; today every tiny sound was like a dagger. He felt himself drifting towards the state of helpless inertia in which he had spent the night, and made a herculean effort to snap out of it. Reluctantly, he looked up again.

“Have you and Amanda ever quarrelled?”

“We’ve had the odd bust up, yeah.”

“Did she deny you…? I mean, were you banished from her bed?”

“A couple of times. But only for a night… when she was getting pregnant, you know. The hormones…”

“Yes. I see.” The answer had not brought much comfort.

“Why, are you sleeping on the couch, then, Lokes?”

“Not sleeping, but yes, I suppose I am.”

“Oh mate, that’s… I’m sorry. Hannah’s really upset then.”

“She is. I am unsure if she will forgive me for this.”

Oakley whistled softly. “I assume you’ve tried apologising.”

“Of course. But I fear I made quite a mess of that.”

“You have to keep on trying. And maybe _show_ her you mean it.”

“In what way?”

“By your actions. By being completely honest…Is anyone else helping you, Loki? With this, I mean?”

“I am having compulsory sessions with Claire.”

“She’s perfect! She’s a psychiatrist or something, isn’t-”

“She is a _psychologist._ And I suppose it is therapy, and yes, I hope she will be able to help me. We have only just begun, just this very morning and mainly she wants me to talk about my feelings, which I confess I-”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. That’s what they do, shrinks, isn't it?”

Loki was quiet again, rerunning all of the morning’s session, and the taut, frigid atmosphere at home before that. Hannah was in pain; that much he knew. And that he was the cause of it cut him like a knife to the heart. Those things were clear to him: that he was at fault, and that he must be the one to put things right. But at this moment he had no idea, no plan, no real understanding of what to do, or how to do it. Oakley coughed quietly, and Loki looked up sharply; he’d forgotten where he was.

“I apologise, Oakley, that was rather rude. I have been tending to behave in a distracted manner recently. It cannot continue.” He began to get up from the seat. “Thank you for your time today. I think I need…”

“You’re welcome, mate. Let me know if I can help. No probs.”

“Yes, thank you again.”

Loki walked quickly to the door and Oakley watched him leave, still slightly stunned by the unaccustomed politeness. Even without the confession, he'd have known something serious was up.

********

Instead of Ruby, another receptionist was on duty when Janet arrived at _Companionship_ that evening. After checking her ID, Belinda pressed the button to open the doors on the right and allowed Janet to make her own way down the corridor. When she reached the end, Caius Martius was waiting for her just inside his open doors.

“My dear Janet, how wonderful to see you again so soon.” He gave his customary little bow and kissed her hand. A positive tsunami of desire tore through her as soon as his lips made contact with her skin and she wondered how she would ever be able to leave his side. “Please, come in.”

She took a step forward, but Caius stayed where he was, gathering her into his arms. He held her close for a brief moment, his lips brushing the dark, glossy brown hair on the side of her head. Janet breathed deeply, inhaling his spicy, male scent and the warmth that permeated the air around him. His hands moved up her back and settled on her upper arms, as before, and she felt her racing heart slow as she was calmed by the strength of his presence. It was only half a minute or so, but it felt like a long time before he turned and led her into the room. As befitted the hour, candles were burning here and there, throwing flickering shadows on the wall paintings, and the ‘views’ of Rome were of a darkened city where occasional fires dotted the blackness and illuminated the small area around them. The atmosphere felt much more seductive than on her previous visit. Caius took her bag as before and guided her to the couch, pouring them each a goblet of wine.

He sat beside her, calmly appraising as he rested the drink on his knee. “How have you been since we were together?”

“Oh, you know: _work, work, busy, busy_.”

He took a sip of wine, put the glass down and turned towards her, smirking. “And have you had time to think about me? About what passed between us during your last visit?”

Janet blushed, but kept her eyes on his. “Yes, I have. I have thought about it a great deal.”

Further words seemed superfluous. She carefully put her own glass down and looked back into his beautiful face. He was regarding her with an expectant expression, his lips just curling on one side into a sexy smile. She raised her right hand and stroked his cheek with her fingertips, making his eyes flutter shut. Warming to her task, she let her hand continue to trace the contours of him, down his neck, feeling the smooth heat of the skin there and slipping inside the soft cotton of his shirt to brush over the hard muscle of his shoulder. Her other hand had found its way to the back of his head and she brought his lips to hers.

Somehow, as their kisses deepened, at first tentative, then surer, Janet found herself on Caius’ lap and grinding against the growing hardness beneath her. She tugged at his tight shirt and he helped her to lift it over his head. Underneath he was all muscle and hot skin. She had seen this body, or versions of it, many times, but to be so close, to see the flush of need rising up it, the ribs heaving with passion, the heart inside pounding with desire for her was utterly different. She bent down and ran her tongue over the dusky pink target of his nipple, drawing a deep moan from far inside him. His hips jerked and she was made aware of the scale of what awaited her. She gasped involuntarily and he paused in his kissing of her neck to growl softly.

“Come, let us lie down. And please, if you will permit it, I want to see you.”

Janet’s stomach did a few backflips as Caius gently eased her off his legs and they both stood. His eyes were dark with lust as he led her over towards the bed, which she had not noticed was turned down. It looked welcoming, but suddenly her legs seemed to have lost all strength and she couldn't quite recall how to walk. Sensing her hesitation, he gathered her up and carried her in a bridal lift, kissing her all the way. When she was placed gently back on her feet her need was renewed.

“May I?” His hand was hovering over the front zipper of her dress. Her tentative nod brought another of his alluring smiles and his elegant fingers closed over the fastening. Slowly, so slowly she almost wanted to scream, Caius Martius lowered the zip, revealing Janet’s body to him. She had bought lingerie especially, seeking out the new store just opened in _Verdi_ in an attempt to avoid an embarrassing transaction with a shop assistant she might know. She had never bothered with such things, opting for comfort rather than glamour. The shimmering dark red fabric contrasted with her pale skin, and glowed in the candlelight. Caius gasped, and Janet thought his hand shook a little as he finished lowering the zip until the dress fell fully open.

“You look wonderful, my darling Janet. Even better than I had imagined.”

Janet’s eyes rolled shut as his hands slid inside the shoulders of her dress and lifted it up, down and then off her, throwing it onto a nearby chair. Before she could feel the merest chill, he stepped closer and his mouth went to her shoulder. He kissed, licked and moaned into her flesh, from her neck, down, down until he rested on the swell of her left breast. He nuzzled, inhaled deeply and took tiny teasing nips at the skin before moving over to the top of its twin.

Her hands found his hair, tugging and pressing in response as he learned what she liked, and what was too much. After a while he broke off from his worship to return to her mouth. As he did, his hands slid under the straps of her bra, pushing them down her arms, then he began to unfasten it. Again, Janet’s legs shook, and this time Caius gently walked her the remaining two steps to the bed, and she sat, grateful for the security. As he stood looming above her, he unbuckled his belt and opened the top of the tight trousers he was wearing. Janet’s eyes roved over the taut fabric and the undeniable swelling beneath it; she saw her own hand reach up and stroke the cotton drill. He groaned, a noisy, lust-filled sound that cranked up her own desire.

“Janet…” His voice was hoarse. “I need to taste you. May I?”

This time she found her voice. “Please…”

Without warning, he pushed her firmly but carefully onto her back as he dropped to his knees. He pressed his face against shiny silkiness and moaned softly. “My darling, you smell delicious,” he murmured into her mound, and hot bursts of pleasure sparked and tingled. Her hips twitched and as he nuzzled against her thigh his fingers caught hold of the fine fabric and he yanked her panties down with both hands. It was sudden and unbearably sexy. What followed was more than she could have ever anticipated; she had never imagined such pleasure existed. The hot, wet softness of his tongue, the delicious contrast of his smooth lips and the roughness of his stubbled cheek; the animal scent of her own arousal, drifting up her body. She felt her worries leaving, and everything in her life that was not concerned with what this fabulous creature was making her feel become less than unimportant.

There were many orgasms, each more shattering than the last, all of them better even than the one he had given her a few days before… and as Janet felt herself returning to her body from somewhere up on the ceiling, she realised that the night was not over yet. Caius was smiling at her, his eyes sparkling.

“How do you feel, my darling?”

“Mmmmm… Amazing…”

His smile broadened and he scooped her up, one strong arm under her legs, the other steadying her shoulders and lifted her bodily up the bed and around, so her head was on the pillows. Janet let herself lie back and into the luxurious softness. She looked dreamily at him as he hovered over her.

“This bed is fabulous, Caius. So comfortable!”

“I am glad you like it, my dear Janet. Now, if you’ll forgive me, I am wearing all together far too many garments.” He turned and sat on the edge of the bed to remove his boots, then stood and dropped his trousers. Her eyes ran over the firm, round shape of his backside and she yielded to her sudden impulse to reach out and touch it. He jumped a little and turned back towards her. “You like my arse?”

“Very much, and... _OH_!”

He had finished turning and his full glory was before her. Janet gulped and dragged her gaze away, feeling suddenly much less sure she was ready for the next step. Caius saw her face and his proud expression morphed into a gentler one.

“Oh Janet, please, do not concern yourself. If you feel you cannot, then we will not.”

“No, no, I want to. It’s just that you’re so… I mean I knew, I’ve seen...I mean, not you, exactly, but-”

“Shhhh. I know.” He sat down beside her, his right leg tucked under and reached over, one long forefinger pressing to her lips to halt the flow of her nervousness. “I promise, it will not hurt. I would never, could never hurt you. I am here purely for you, for your pleasure and happiness. And I believe that I can bring you both. Do you believe that, my darling?” Not trusting her voice, she nodded. “Then, shall we?”

He filled her.

Slowly, gently but with a determination that she needed to quash any lingering doubts, he filled her. She would not have thought she could accommodate him, but not only did she do so without discomfort, but she needed him so badly that she had felt a yawning emptiness immediately before he carefully parted her lips and entered her. And as he waited for her to adjust, and she felt her walls flutter and pulse against the hot hardness of him, she craned her neck and kissed the salty sweetness of his neck and heard him whimper. He was so strong, so male, so _alive._ She sensed him as much as saw, felt and smelled him; in and over her, around and inside and everywhere. And when he began to move, slowly, steadily, inexorably, she knew what it all meant and that it had been worth every minute of the long, long wait.

*********

At the same time as Janet was learning the true beauty of lovemaking from Caius Martius, her fellow scientist was across the hall. Johanna was tense and grumpy, and not even an hour in the company of Adam, drinking red wine and talking about the possibilities of exobiology had softened her mood.

“My darling Johanna, I get the feeling all is not well with you.”

“ _No shit, Sherl_ … Sorry. It’s just... So _frustrating_.” She leaned against his shoulder as he wrapped a long arm a little tighter around her. “My research, you know.”

“I take it things are not progressing regarding permission to begin trials?”

“No. They have hardly started to discuss it. Janet told me this afternoon. Some trouble with Loki has hijacked the Council’s time, damn it!”

“Ah. Yes, well, Prince Loki is not the easiest of characters.”

Johanna let out a long sigh. “No, and thanks to his latest shenanigans, whatever they are, my team and I are stuck twiddling our thumbs until we hear back.”

“Do you have any other projects you could work on? In the meantime?”

“Not really, Adam. I’ve been so focussed on this, and it’s been going so well, that I've not really bothered with anything else.”

“No, I see.” He took a slow, careful sip of his Merlot. “Have you considered what you will do if permission for human trials is denied?”

Johanna looked at him for a long time. His lovely face was calm, but serious. His blue eyes surveyed her face so closely she could almost feel the touch of his gaze on her round cheeks and high forehead. As so often, he had asked her the one question she had been avoiding in her own mind, but was the most important. And how she loved him for it, her dark, mysterious lover: her beautiful, brilliant, sad scientist; her talented, lugubrious artist. “Not really, no. But you know what, Adam, I really should. Because that might happen, right?”

The shaggy dark mop beside her glossy blonde head nodded. “I fear it might, my darling. And you should be prepared for that.” He turned and nuzzled her ear, his lips brushing over the lobe as his hand stroked her thigh, drawing patterns on the fabric and making bright flashes of desire spark within her. When his tongue began to flit in and out, tasting her skin between his hot wet kisses, Johanna whimpered, put down her drink and surrendered to him.

**********

The park was bright enough, but it looked different in the moonlight, and was completely deserted at this hour, it seemed. The greens were muted to near-greys, and every sound, the slightest swish of a branch or creak of a bough on an apple tree was amplified in the quiet. Julie was not usually crossing it so late, but she had been busy at the Archive all week and there was a stack of admin to finish at the nursery. So she had sent Ed home with Phoebs and stayed behind to make a proper dent in it. She knew herself well enough: she’d sleep better if at least part of it was done, and there were too many distractions at home.

She put her head down and scurried across the open grassy space, trying not to allow her imagination get the better of her. There was no safer place than _OB4_ , she knew that, but she had read too many gothic novels and watched too many old movies not to see shadows everywhere, black shapes that could be axe-murderers or monsters lying in wait. Then one of the shadows actually moved and she squealed in fear.

“Miss Julie.” The dark smoothness of his voice was just audible. “I am most profoundly sorry. It was not my intention to alarm you.”

“What the…? Loki? What are you doing here at this time of night?”

“Waiting for you.”


	9. The Tameness of a Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s mad that trusts the tameness of a wolf, a horse’s health, a boy’s love, or a whore’s oath.”  
> William Shakespeare, King Lear

It was almost dark where they were in the middle of the orchard. The moon was waning, and what little light the crescent gave was shaded by the dense blossom that garlanded every branch around and above the bench. The air around them was full of the heady, sweet scent of spring, rich with the promise of apples to come. Loki looked up at the dark sky, or at least, that part that was just visible between the flowers. Julie put her hand on his forearm. She could just discern his profile in the gloom, and see the moonlight making his pale skin glisten with a silvery glow.

“What is it, love?”

He sighed, then pulled his back straight, trying to keep up his usual bravado. He had been afraid to go home, fearing another painful rejection and had wandered around for a while, unsure what to do. Then he remembered how Julie and he had talked, back in the bad old days, when she was a client. How he had been able to communicate with her, and how she had been so frank and kind. And how, when he wanted to spend time at the nursery, she had welcomed him unhesitatingly. He turned his head.

“We are friends, Julie? You and I?”

She smiled demurely. “I like to think so, Loki. I’d say we have been for years... Why, are you not sure about that?”

“I am aware that it is sometimes difficult for men and women to be friends without, um… even if they have not had sex, as you and I have.”

“Ah, yes, well, I believe that was once true, in some cases. Of course, I have only _Companions_ to judge by, personally. You guys seem to be able to manage the Platonic thing well enough. Even if, you know...” She closed her eyes and swallowed, reminded by the conversation of the times she spent in Loki’s bed, and Jonathan’s. When she opened them, Loki was still looking at her, his chin up but his face strained. “Do you need a friend tonight, Loki?”

Tears began to overflow from his eyes despite his attempt at keeping up a front. Julie marvelled for a split-second at the genius of his makers and the authenticity of his emotions, then she stretched up her arms and pulled him into a hug. So much taller, he loomed over her, but he put his head on her shoulder and gradually allowed the weight of his upper body to rest on her as she rubbed his back soothingly. She knew part of what was happening, of course. She had been informed officially that Loki was not allowed to work for the time being; the notification had come through the day before. But since then she had spoken to Cate, who had filled in some of the gaps for her.

They stayed as they were for some time, until discomfort in her back and hip made Julie attempt to shift position very slightly to ease it. Loki sat up immediately.

“I am so sorry. I did not intend to cause you pain.”

“No, it’s fine. Just a little stiff, you know. I was twisting, that’s all.” His stricken expression softened back into its former sadness. “Do you want to talk about it, Loki?”

_Do I?_

He looked into Julie’s kind brown eyes. “How do I apologise, Julie? How do I restore things to how they were? How can I convince Hannah that I still love her?” He took a deep, juddering breath, and more tears trickled down his cheek. “How can I make her love me again?”

Julie reached for his large, cool hands and caught them with her small, warm ones. “Darling, I’m sure she still loves you, and she knows you love her… She’s probably very upset, that’s all. And hormonal.”

“She no longer trusts me.” His voice was so quiet she had to strain to hear the words among the low rumble of it.

“Ah, well, yes… _That’s_ the part you need to work on, I think.”

Loki pulled a face. “I am making a great many mistakes at the moment, saying the wrong thing. My thoughts are rather...disordered. That is why I need to talk, I think. Commander Claire is very professional, and I am sure her help will prove invaluable, but she has a specific agenda. She is treating me, seeing me, probing or whatever it is that her questions are for… she is doing it on behalf of the Council. And I accept the need for that. But I also need…”

“...a friend. Yes, of course. And I am honoured that you chose me, Loki.” Julie gazed into his beautiful, sorrowful eyes. “I will do my best to help, in whatever way I can.”

Loki managed a grateful grimace; not quite a smile, but the nearest the pain in his heart would allow him. Julie shuffled to the edge of the seat so her feet could reach the ground. Her boobs were throbbing with milk, and she suspected Phoebe would have finished all that she had expressed that morning.

“But it is late now, and I think you and I should get to our respective homes.”

He stood and offered her a hand. “I will accompany you. But I am not sure I would be welcome at my own quarters.”

“If I know her at all, I reckon Hannah is probably worrying about where you are… How about I message her?”

“Oh, I do not know…”

Julie had whipped out her small tablet and was already typing. “Too late!” She watched the screen and saw Hannah’s face appear. She looked tired and pale.

“Hi, Jules.”

“Hannah, love. Loki is with me.”

“Oh, thank goodness! I was beginning to worry, but I didn't want to hassle him, you know, if he was still with Claire or whatever…”

“Well, he and I have had a bit of a talk. He’s going to walk me to my place, then I’ll send him home, OK?”

“Yes, lovely. Thanks, Julie. ‘night.” Hannah kissed her fingers and held them up to the screen. Julie closed the connection and looked up at Loki, who was attempting that weak smile again.

“There, what did I tell you?”

He stepped closer and wrapped his long arms around her. He mumbled into her hair. “This is pitifully inadequate, but thank you, Julie.”

“Psshtt! Now, come on, Phoebe will be waking for a feed soon, and Ed will be fretting. You know what a mother hen he is.”

********

The quarters that Hannah and Loki shared could be approached in different ways. One lift would take you more or less there, opening as it did almost opposite their front door. Loki chose to take an alternative route, using the lift nearer to Ed and Julie’s apartment three floors below, which meant a longish walk along the corridor to his own place. The habitat was circular, and curved gently to the left away from him as he made his way home. It was late evening now, so the lighting was dimmed, but still bright enough to see comfortably by, even without the superior senses of a _Companion._ As he walked, his sharp ears captured snatched moments of other lives through the doors and walls: music, dialogue from a film or ancient TV show, or the nightly news bulletin; raised voices as other couples worked out their differences; the pitiful wail of a child.

Finally he saw his own door up ahead, and his forward momentum slowed to a crawl. He was anxious.

_No. I am a coward._

Rather than walk straight in as normal, he tapped on the panel. Hannah knew it was him and the door slid open. She was by the window; the one Loki himself had gazed out of all day on Tuesday.

“Loki, thank goodness.” She was standing, silhouetted by the starry sky, in her night clothes. Loki thought she’d never looked more beautiful.

“I am sorry. It was not my intention to cause you concern, Hannah.” He wanted nothing more than to walk over and gather her into his embrace. But he did not; he stayed just inside the door.

“Have you been with Julie all this time, since you finished your session with Claire?”

“Not that long, no. I… I spent some time with Oakley, then I… I just walked around the station until I decided to find Julie.”

Hannah took a step towards him. “Why didn’t you come home?” Her voice was soft; he could hear pain in it.

“I assumed you would not want me here. I… I know I have hurt you, my… Hannah. I thought it would cause you less pain if I kept away. For a while.”

Hannah looked at him. He seemed much the same as he had the day before: subdued, confused, almost lessened. She sat down and patted the couch beside her. “Please, come, sit.” She saw him hesitate, then acquiesce. Once he was seated - at a polite distance, she noted - she turned towards him, although he was stiffly facing front.

Hannah took a breath. “I have my scan the day after tomorrow.”

He nodded, gulping down the lump in his throat. “Yes.”

“I don’t want you to come.” Loki gasped. “I’m sorry, but I’d just prefer it that way. I’m not ready-”

He nodded sharply.

Hannah looked at him. He was still side on to her, but his gaze was empty. She felt her own sobs bubbling up, but she pushed them down, determined to remain coherent. “I know this is hard for you, Loki, but it is for me too. I need… I just need some more time, and so do you.”

He nodded again “Have you spoken to Claire?”

“Not yet. I am due to see her tomorrow afternoon. If you and she are finished for the day, that is.” She stood up. “I am very tired; I am going to bed. Goodnight.”

_So, I am to remain exiled from your bed_

Hannah did not look back, but she paused in the doorway of her room. “I am glad you are home, Loki.”

*********

Freddie was whistling as he cleared away the breakfast things. Claire smiled to herself; he was the very model of a reconstructed man: reasonable, domesticated, thoughtful, kind, but retaining his essential manhood, and that oh-so-irresistible sexiness. _Can we make real boys grow into men like him? If so…_ She was about to set off for the Med Centre for her second session with Loki. She was taking it very gently, small step by measured stride. Freddie leaned over and kissed the top of her head before deftly whipping her empty plate away.

“Yes, I know, I need to leave.”

“Not at all, darling. Not rushing you, just being a good wifey.” He grinned broadly and swept off to the kitchen area.

The incoming call bong sounded and Claire asked the computer to put it on the main screen.

“Morning, Claire.”

“Amanda, hello. Everything OK?”

“Well… I just wanted to warn you that I’ve been told a few rumours are circulating. Some of the girls at the school must have told their mothers that Loki has been absent, and the mill has started up.”

Claire rolled her eyes. It was a perennial problem; in a comparatively small community, gossip was inevitable, and the doings of the _Companions_ were always a matter of great interest to the populace. “Right-ho. I’ll mention it to him. Do we know what the _on dit_ is exactly?”

She saw Amanda shrug. “Not really. Just that there might be some kind of problem. I think I might need to issue a statement or something, just to stop it getting out of hand. We don't want people thinking it’s a systemic thing.”

“Indeed not! Good idea… Oh, and I am seeing Hannah after lunch today, for our first chat. I’ll let her know too.”

“Ta. Talk later?”

“Of course. Have a good day, Amanda. See you later.”

********

The Gene Lab was as busy as usual as she walked the long central corridor. Johanna was heading for a quick base-touching meeting with her boss. Not that she expected to hear anything new; the coffee shop that morning had been alive with talk of Loki. It seemed he was not to be seen in his usual haunts, and was being missed. Hardly surprising; he was quite a presence. She hadn't been introduced herself, but Johanna had often seen him with Hannah in the park or walking with the Knightons and their baby, and once she had sat on the beach at _Lake Chantal_ near him when he was there with the Monmouth girls.

As she approached the Head of Science’s office, she could see its occupant standing by the window. Janet was a tall, graceful woman; Johanna had always admired her ready smile, sharp wit and kind nature. But as she drew closer she detected that there was definitely something different this morning. Janet was holding a mug of coffee in one hand, stroking the side with the fingers of the other and smiling to herself as she surveyed the Earth. The younger woman stepped into the room.

“Good morning…”

“Oh! Johanna, you made me jump!”

“We have an appointment.”

“Yes, yes… of course. I was miles away...sorry!”

Johanna took her usual seat, and watched as Janet lowered herself noticeably more carefully than usual into her office chair opposite.

“Are you OK? Overdone the exercise or something?”

Her boss’s face reddened rapidly and she coughed. “Something like that, um...yes.”

_Ah…_

Johanna smiled slyly. “I had a date last night too.” Janet blushed an almost purple colour, then snorted with laughter. Her colleague joined in the hilarity. When she had recovered, Janet looked up shyly.

“It was only my second visit.”

“ _And…_? Who...?”

“Caius Martius…” She grinned, fanned herself and mimed fainting, at which Johanna chuckled loudly. “How about you?”

“Oh, I’m obviously greedier than you. I’ve been seeing Adam for three years now.”

“Wow… he’s, um...”

“Yeah, he is.” The two grinned at each other.

“Can I get you a coffee?” Janet stood up as gingerly as she had sat down. Unused muscles had been stretched and tissue was somewhat bruised this morning; it was worth every twinge.

“Thanks, yes. So, um, you’re feeling it a bit, um...I guess?”

Janet sucked air through her teeth. “Yeah, rather... He’s, er… very _thorough_ , is Caius.”

Both women giggled. Janet sighed and passed over the mug before returning to her seat. She was relieved that the mood had been lightened, embarrassing though it had been at first, because the news she had to impart wasn’t great.

********

_This was a mistake_ , Hannah thought. Amanda had told her not to come into the office at all today, but not having anything to do was worse. So she had packed a bag and headed here, to _Lake Chantal_ for a lazy swim and a bit of a lie down on the beach. The gorgeous facility was supposed to be a place to chill out, relax and sooth the soul, but she was tenser than ever, and the heat made her regular hot flushes unbearable. Every time she felt the tingle of adrenaline and the opening of pores, she had to walk down to the water and immerse herself. It helped. But only a little.

The almond trees at the head of the beach were heavy with blossom, and the air was rich and fragrant; sadly, it was wasted on her. She was waiting to hear from Claire, and hence constantly checking her tablet; by contrast, the novel she had loaded onto it remained utterly undisturbed. She lay on her back, eyes closed, trying unsuccessfully to empty her mind. Deep breathing exercises, half-remembered meditation technique, that trick for staving off anxiety attacks that Miriam had taught her: none of it helped in the slightest. “Well, at least I got a chance to show off my pedicure, and my bright pink toenails,” she muttered as she dressed, gathered her belongings and headed back home.

_Home_

Was it really home, without him? _Without what we had together…?_ The past few days had been so wrong, so empty but at the same time too full: of shocks, of blows, and of emotions, some of which she could not understand. Hannah crossed the main concourse and joined the queue at her favourite coffee shop. People stared, and a few nudged each other and whispered. _Word has got around,_ she thought. She felt her cheeks redden, and decided to give the skinny latte a miss, walking with as much dignity as she could muster to the lift. She asked for the park level, feeling that a walk might help more than an injection of caffeine.

********

The therapy room in the Med Centre was a pleasant, calming space. Small, decorated in pale greens, with comfortable seating, it was totally fit for purpose, Claire thought to herself as shelaid out her stall. She filled the small side table with a glass of water, her tablet, the remote for the recording device and another for the lighting. She had just finished reading back her notes when a soft tap alerted her to her patient’s arrival. She turned and watched Loki come in. He was wearing the same clothes as the day before, and it seemed he might have slept in them. His shirt was creased and his boots were dusty.

**“** Good morning, Loki. How are you feeling today?”

A curt nod. **“** Good morning. I am well. The problem seems to be persisting, however...”

Claire frowned. “Problem as in...? What is making you unhappy?” She indicated Loki should sit.

“I have not been able to apologise properly as yet. I suppose Hannah is still… upset and uncomfortable”

**“** Because she will not allow you to apologise, or because you have not been able to express it?”

“I, er.. Both, I think you could say.”

Claire nodded.“Yes, well, that is perfectly understandable. It is still very raw, Loki. You must allow her some time to process what has happened. And this is a tricky time for her.” She watched as Loki wrung his hands, but still did not look up. He said nothing for over a minute, but she waited, seeing he was struggling. Finally he spoke, and his head came up.

“Yes. Of course.”

“Now, if you are ready, I want to start today by asking you some questions about your time with Chantal, if I may.”

He frowned and cocked his head. “I do not see how that could be relevant, but yes, if you wish”

**“** I think it will help us both.

Loki muttered inaudibly.

“What was that, Loki?”

“I did not speak.”

Claire looked steadily at him. He stared back with more than a hint of his old defiance. “Very well. Now, would you say you were happy with Chantal?”

“It was brief, but yes.”

“Tell me about it, if you would.”

Loki took a deep breath and began. “It was my first experience of humans, excepting those who made me of course. When my transport pod opened at her house, I remember feeling a rush of emotion, but needing to hide it. William was there, of course-”

“Ah yes. William...wasn’t he the Companion she chose to keep?”

Loki’s jaw jutted with irritation. “Yes.”

“That still bothers you, I see.”

He grimaced. “It does not. If she had not, I would not have met Hannah, or any of you, would I?”

Claire shrugged. “But it must have hurt. Not to be chosen, I mean.”

“Well, I did not like returning to stasis, especially not in favour of that… _boy_ , Oakley. But I had no way of knowing that Chantal had not chosen me until the day I was reactivated here.”

“Of course... How would you describe your relationship with Chantal?”

“I loved her. We were lovers, of course. That was my purpose.”

“Did she love you, do you know? Did she tell you?”

Loki grinned, remembering. “She did. Loudly and often…” Then his smile faltered. “But she was not in love with me, the way Hannah…” He swallowed. 

“I see. No, of course, a week is hardly enough time. Tell me, did you think about Chantal much in the days after your reactivation? You must have had to process the fact that she had rejected you, at the same time as you were learning to love Hannah.”

“I did. But you must know that I did not have to _learn_ to love Hannah. I loved her instantly: the very moment I saw her. And when they told me she was the one who had found me and brought me here, I knew she was the woman I was truly destined to love and protect. And the longer I have been here, the more I love her, in a way that I never loved Chantal. I still believe that to be true, even if…”

“Even if what, Loki?”

“Even if Hannah no longer does.” He stood and paced the room a couple of times. Claire watched silently, allowing him the time and space he seemed to need. When he stopped he looked at her, his face stricken. “I have to fix this, Claire. Could you help?”

She gulped back her own emotion. “I will, of course, but-”

“I cannot live without her. I must do as William did if she rejects me. I could not continue.”


	10. Knowledge is Proud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Knowledge is proud that he has learn’d so much; Wisdom is humble that he knows not more.”  
> William Cowper, The Winter Walk at Noon.

“Loki, please, sit down.” Claire took his hand and guided him back to his armchair. Instead of returning to her own, she crouched by his knees, still keeping his long, cool fingers in hers. “I will do everything I can to help you to understand what is happening to you. But ultimately, your relationship, and whatever happens in the future between you, is something that you and Hannah have to resolve yourselves. You see that, don’t you?”

He nodded, his eyes still fixed on hers, desperate. “Yes, of course.”

“Good. Now, Loki, are you able to continue?” She looked at him, trying to evaluate if they could conclude the line of questioning she had begun.

“Yes, I think I am.”

“That’s great.” A little stiffly, Claire stood up, rubbed her back and found her own chair. “We were talking about Chantal, your time there and how you felt about it.” He nodded. He seemed more composed. “Can you tell me, what did you think of William, when you met him?”

“We hardly met - it was just an instant. He shared the data he had from his time with Chantal before me, then left. I considered him rather weak, but pleasant enough. He was devoted to Chantal.”

“What was weak about him? Surely he was as strong as you, being another _Companion_?”

“I do not mean to imply he was physically inadequate. It is his personality I am referring to. He was very… soft. Yielding. Compliant.”

“Was he? I get the impression from Chantal’s account that he was kind, thoughtful and loving. He certainly seemed to give her what she needed.” Loki’s eyes blazed with anger. “That annoys you, Loki?” Claire kept her eyes on him, but her right hand found the alarm button under the table - just in case.

“I find your implication insulting.” His jaw was tight.

“What do you believe I was implying?”

“That William Buxton was superior to me. To the God of Mischief, the rightful King of Asgard.”

Claire smiled, giving off an air of calm but remaining on high alert. “That is not what I said, nor is it remotely what I meant, Loki. I have no criteria by which to judge. I was purely stating the facts: Chantal chose William, so he must have fulfilled her requirements in a partner. You were not the only one she passed over. Oakley, and King Henry, too, did not pass muster.”

Loki’s anger seemed to abate, but his hands were still in fists and his chest was rising a little faster than normal. “I can see that, yes. I apologise for my unwarranted outburst.”

“Accepted. Now, yesterday you said that King Henry does not approve of you. Why do you think that is?”

Loki hesitated, and Claire wondered if she had wrong-footed him with her sudden change of tack. “I believe him to be an intensely moral man. He does not consider deception of any kind to be acceptable.”

“Have you ever deceived him?”

“No. _Well_...only if you include the minor jest I and others played on him, before the eldest princess was born.”

“Oh yes, I heard about that.” Claire raised an eyebrow. “That was rather disrespectful, Loki.”

“He needed to loosen his bodice a few inches! He expects deference from everyone, even-”

“Even you?”

Loki stared at her. “Yes. And I am as much a king as he…”

Claire picked up her tablet and began to make notes. “Yes, I see…”

********

The message Hannah had been waiting for finally arrived just before lunchtime - not that she wanted to eat a thing.

  * **_L & I have finished for the day. Can you come here to TR5 for 14.00?_**
  * _Yes. Thanks Hx_



She set off with more than enough time to get there comfortably, unable to stay in the too quiet, too empty coldness of their quarters. Loki had messaged her to say he had been given permission to go to the nursery in order to see Julie, so she need not worry about him. She had smiled at that; she did little but worry about him, but at least she knew where he was this time.

As she reached the entrance to the Med Centre, she saw Miriam coming out of the doors.

“Hannah, darling. How are you?”

She tried to smile, but her mouth refused to cooperate. “Oh, you know…” Her petite friend stretched up to hug her tightly.

“Claire will be updating us later, but from what I can tell, things are going well.”

Hannah stiffened. “Are they?”

Miriam stepped back and rested her hands on Hannah’s forearms. “In the sessions, I mean. I know this must be-”

“It is. Miriam, can you tell me why people were staring at me in _Federico’s_ this morning? Is my private life the subject of general discussion, or just between the medical staff?”

Miriam was stunned for a moment; she had never seen Hannah angry before. She took a breath, and responded as calmly as she could. “Nobody here has said anything out of turn, Hannah, I assure you. I understand that Loki’s absence from the school has been noticed, and you must know how people love to talk.”

“I see. Well, I have an appointment.” Hannah extracted herself from the Medical Director’s grasp and turned away. She walked as fast as she could without running, all the way to the therapy suite and quickly located the room she needed. She had just wiped her hand across her face when Claire opened the door before she had a chance to tap the panel.

“Hannah, come in and… what’s wrong, love?”

“I...I think I was just horribly rude and unfair to Miriam. I blamed her staff for… _GOD_ , I am a complete mess, Claire!”

“Sit down, darling. Tell me what happened.” Hannah recounted what had passed between her and Miriam, and what had led to it. “I’m sure she understands what a strain you’re under, love. And she doesn’t strike me as the grudge-bearing type. You’re good friends?” Hannah nodded. “Then she’ll forgive you. Now, we need to talk about what you and I are going to do here. Are you ready?”

“I am.”

“Good. Firstly, there have to be a few basic ground rules in any course of therapy. As yours is a voluntary self-referral, you may end the course or any session whenever you wish, but I will offer my opinion if I feel you should continue. Does that sound fair?”

Hannah nodded. “Extremely. Will we….I mean, do you think it would help if Loki and I had joint sessions?”

“Eventually, yes. But he is not ready for that yet.”

“I don’t suppose you can tell me what you and he have talked about.”

“Not at this stage. But if he agrees, perhaps in a future joint session.”

Hannah sighed. “I see. Well, that’s fair enough. He has a right to that.”

“He does. Because he is a person, Hannah. That much I am certain about. He is as much a person as you and I.”

Hannah considered this for a long moment. “In that case, he has the same responsibilities, too.”

Claire wanted to clap; Hannah had understood immediately. “Indeed. Now, these sessions can simply be a place for you to talk, and for me to listen, purely that. But you might want to consider using them as an opportunity.”

“To do what?”

“To learn a bit more about yourself.” Hannah snorted. “Yes, I know, you’re a big girl… but we all have parts of ourselves we haven’t really explored, or things in our lives we don't like to talk about.” She paused, leaned back a little and rested her hands in her lap. “For example, I have known you for thirty years, at least. But I know nothing about your family. You never talk about your mother-”

“ _Mothers_...no, you’re right. I don’t.” Hannah swallowed hard. She’d been thinking about them a lot lately. Dreaming about them, too.

“Tell me if I’m wrong, but I would have thought that at a time like this, when you are actively seeking parenthood, thoughts of your own parents come to the fore, consciously or unconsciously, surely?”

“OK, yes. That might be worth...whatever. But that’s the thing, Claire. I’m not sure now if I want to have a baby. Because this whole business, Loki, what he’s done; what he wants… that’s changed everything.” She looked up at Claire, pleading. “If I can’t trust him…”

“I understand, totally. And we will get to that, both with and without Loki being in the room. But for now, I would like us to talk about you, Hannah. How have you been, these past few days?”

“Honestly? Confused, angry, lonely… I miss him, Claire. I miss holding him, being with him, the companionship… but most of all, I miss the Loki I could always rely on to be there for _me._ Now I don't know if I ever knew him at all.”

“Has his behaviour towards you changed that much?”

“Yes and no… He’d been rather distracted for a few days, as I told you, but only on and off, you know. He’d easily snap out of it and be his normal self. But since Monday, well… I suppose I've been treating him differently, so that might be why.”

“Why what, exactly?”

“It’s as if he’s scared of what I’ll do or say. He seems almost grovelling… I never thought I’d say that about Loki!”

“I see… yes, that isn’t normal, no. Well, he is very confused and anxious, and you are the most important thing in his life, so I suppose it’s understandable that if you are keeping him at arm’s length, then he will be rather desperate.”

“Am I, though? Am I _the most important thing_?” She shook her head at nobody in particular. “I got the impression that his future _son_ was…”

“Oh Hannah, I think I can tell you without breaking confidence that he loves you, more than ever. He has told me as much, but he hardly needed to. That you can be certain of, my dear.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.” She looked steadily at Hannah, her expression resolute. “So, would you like to tell me about your mothers?”

*********

The air in the nursery was filled with the sounds of early childhood. Gurgles, wails, full-on screams; the muttered soothing words of carers; the tinkling giggles of toddlers; the cacophony of drums, bells and boxes being bashed by tiny plastic hammers held in tiny fists. Bright colours, pastel shades, moving figures that barely reached his knees, the reflections of light on the walls... Loki stood for a few minutes absorbing it all. He felt strange and awkward: this had been a place of joy for him once, but today it represented so much of what he might lose.

Julie came out of her office alcove and called to him. “You OK there, Loki?”

“I am. Thank you.” He walked over to her, a dark, stiff presence among the lightness.

“Take a seat.” She watched him fold himself and sit down. She tried to gauge his mood; he seemed tense, but beyond that not much was discernible. “How are you doing?”

“I am functioning satisfactorily. My emotions seems to be less volatile, although I, er…” She waited patiently. “I did become rather discourteous with Claire in our session today.”

“Did you? Why was that?”

“She seemed to imply something, that I was inadequate… but she was right, I recognise that now.”

“Inadequate, Loki? In what way?” Julie had never known him to admit fault or failing, even when he was learning the ropes with the babies.

“I was not chosen.”

_Ah. She must have been talking to him about Ms Barton._ “I see. Well, neither was Oakley or Henry. And she sent the other one back to the factory, didn’t she…? You know, that doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough, you must know that. Just that you didn’t suit that particular person’s needs.”

“Yes, you are correct. And in fact, I am sure I was destined to come here and be with Hannah, but I fear I have…”

He stopped suddenly and Julie saw his emotions doing battle. He was trying not to cry, in the way she had seen on screen many times. Actors in plays and movies, people speaking in the aftermath of terrible events, or being interviewed about tragedy or loss; it seemed that most men had not found it easy to express themselves or show their feelings, and some of the _Companions_ mirrored that difficulty. Edward was the same, even now. But he felt all the emotions she did, and so did Loki. Julie knew it. How that had happened, whether from the precise design of their positronic brains or the way they had learned and evolved, she could not say. But it was as real as anything felt by any woman on _OB4._ So she did what she would have done for any of them. She reached for his hand.

“What do you think you have done, Loki?”

He looked up. “I fear I have destroyed what we had. That I will not be able to make it right, and that she will never take me back.”

“Oh Loki, you have to be patient! It is so soon, still. We talked about this last night. She has a lot happening right now. Give her a chance, OK?” He nodded, but remained grim-faced. “Have you had any rest? You seem tired.”

“I was able to go into sleep mode for a few hours. I do not require more than a few hours a week, as long as I have adequate energy reserves.”

“No, I know that. How about food?”

“No thank you.”

Julie laughed lightly. “You are silly! I meant, have you been eating? You know that if you don’t keep up your intake your biochemistry can get out of balance. That causes all kinds of odd stuff to happen.” He stared at her uncomprehendingly. Julie got up from her chair. “Come on, there’s some soup in the fridge. I think you could do with a bowl, and a glass or two of milk.”

Ed was in the baby room, sitting in a rocking chair feeding one of the newest recruits when he looked up and saw Loki following meekly behind his wife on the way to the kitchen. It was an astonishing picture, Ed thought, but then, strange things had been happening lately. He refocused on the little girl in his arms. “That’s it, Eva, oh yes,” he cooed, “... you must have been _so_ hungry, darling…”

Loki glanced across and the sight of Edward cradling the infant made his chest tighten. He straightened his back and lengthened his stride, almost passing Julie as they reached the kitchen doorway. “I will prepare the soup, Julie. Thank you for drawing my attention to it. I have been neglecting my physical well-being.” He swept across the room, opened the fridge, located the exact container and had poured a portion into a bowl, all before Julie had a chance to speak.

“You’re very welcome, Loki.” She pulled out a stool and clambered onto it to sit at the counter. “What are friends for?”

Loki nodded from his station by the microwave, where he was watching the bowl turning. “I see, yes. In times of turmoil, a friend will help you to keep going through the tempest.”

“Something like that.” She watched him. “Don’t forget the milk.”

He nodded again. “May a prepare you anything, Julie? A drink, perhaps… a cookie?”

“No, I’m good, thanks. Now, are you going to tell me what you and Claire talked about?”

*********

“There’s not that much to tell, frankly.” Hannah steeled herself; she hadn’t shared this story in a very long time. “They died, when I was young. Mama was an engineer, she worked for _Station Maintenance._ She was killed in an accident.” Claire tried not to shudder; she already knew the story. She had researched Hannah’s background in advance, not wanting too many surprises. Hannah’s birth mother had been outside, fixing the communications array when something pierced her suit. It was unclear what: perhaps a piece of space debris, or a tiny asteroid. Whatever it was, the decompression had killed her before she could be brought inside. _Injuries incompatible with life,_ the report said.

Hannah breathed deeply for a minute or two. It was so hard to actually _say_ it. “Mummy loved her so much. It wasn't too long after that she went, too. They said it was a myocardial infarction, but I think it was a broken heart.” Tears were falling silently down her cheeks.

Claire watched her. “How old were you when this was happening?”

“Nine, and twelve when Mummy died.”

“That must have been terrible. Who looked after you after that?”

“A few people, friends…” Images flashed: strange hard beds in tiny rooms; uncomfortable meals; teachers fumbling for the right words, but failing. “I never felt really at home anywhere for years. Not until Cate and I got our place.”

“Would you like some water?” Hannah nodded, and Claire took her time fetching a glass and filling it from the flask. She was getting to the meat of the matter, she felt, and needed to judge her next moves carefully. “Here you are.” She sat down again and made a slight meal of settling herself and picking up her tablet. “So, after your teenage years, setting up home with Loki must have been very special.”

Hannah was quiet for a long time; so long that Claire thought she’d rushed it after all. But then she heard a quiet cough. “It was. It felt like I had a family again.”

“Is that why you decided to have a child? Because, if you don’t mind me saying this, I’m not sure I would have put myself through all that at your age.”

Hannah laughed bitterly. “No, it’s been sheer hell so far… I have a scan tomorrow. To see if the hormones have worked.”

“Ah, yes, of course. And if they have?”

“Harvesting is due on Monday. After all I’ve been through, I might as well go that far. But I am going to ask them to freeze my eggs.”

“I, um… yes, I can understand that. This isn’t exactly the ideal time.” _Understatement of the century._ “You didn’t answer my original question though, Hannah. Is that why you wanted a baby? To make a proper family, one of your own, with Loki?”

Hannah could not speak, so she nodded. It had all been so clear to her. The side effects had made it more of an ordeal, but she had always known _why_ she was doing it, more or less _._ But to have a family, you needed to have security, love; _trust._

*********

The afternoon was drawing to a close as Amanda looked around the table. Charlotte appeared her usual self: cheerful, enthusiastic and bubbly, like a teenager in a grown woman’s body. Miriam, by contrast, seemed to have a cloud over her. Her beautiful face was set in a frown, so unlike her normal calm and reassuring expression. _I’d better have a word after the meeting,_ Amanda thought. Janet, too, was not the habitual professional presence they were accustomed to. She had an air of giddy joy about her; Amanda had an idea what lay behind that.

There was sufficient time for this assessment because Claire was late, and thus they were all watching the door when it slid open and the former Commander appeared in something of a fluster. She made her way over to the table and began unpacking her bag while a waterfall of explanation tumbled out.

“Sorry I’m late! Hannah and I had our first session this afternoon and I didn't feel I could rush that… and then I wanted to draft my preliminary report for you and it took longer than-”

“It’s perfectly fine, Claire. We’ve only been waiting a minute or two!”

“Well, good, OK then… sorry.” She sat and Amanda began the meeting.

“First of all, I have drafted a short statement which has been added to the daily _Station Report._ We need to quash these rumours before they get out of hand.” She lifted her tablet. “It reads: **_An apparent minor malfunction has been noted in one of the Companion androids. It is not considered serious but the Companion in question has voluntarily withdrawn from his regular activities as a precaution. It is anticipated that he will return to his normal duties in a day or two._** How does that sound?”

Janet nodded. “Sounds about right to me. A good balance of ‘We’re taking it seriously’ and ‘It’s nothing to worry about’.”

Amanda looked at everyone. “I think we can help project an air of normality, too, by being seen in public with our _Companion_ partners. Out and about, doing normal stuff with them and so on.” She took a long look at Janet, who reddened slightly. “I will have a word with Julie and Cate. If any of you hear friends saying they have dates with _Companions_ over the weekend, maybe you could suggest they make them outings…?” There was no dissent, so she swiped her screen. “OK, so, Claire. Over to you.”

“Thanks, Amanda. Here are my preliminary findings, ladies.” She tapped her screen quickly to share the document then put the device down. “Loki and I have a way to go, and he is still quite resistant at times, but it was pretty clear to me what has happened almost immediately.” Miriam nodded vigorously; she had seen it in the transcripts, she believed. “I’ll summarise for you, shall I?”

“Please.” Amanda was trying not to grin from relief; she had feared they had a problem that could threaten the prosperity and stability of the colony. Claire had told her the evening before that she need not worry, but this confirmation was nonetheless extremely welcome.

“We have known from the outset that the _Companions_ were programmed with the full range of human emotion. This made them capable of displaying fear, anger and love, for example, in the correct circumstances. But that was just the beginning, the ‘factory settings’, if you will. They were also given the capacity to learn, to develop and to assimilate every experience into their complex brains. And the different personalities that each of them was given meant that they varied in how they expressed emotion and when, and also in what way they would change as they grew as, well, _people._ ”

Janet leaned forward. “So, in essence, you’re saying that Loki’s actions are the result of this melange of his programming, his character and his experiences.”

“Exactly!”

“So,” Amanda said, scanning Claire’s report but not alighting on what she needed, “can you say what the problem is, precisely … and if there is a solution?”

“First of all, colleagues, I want to make it clear that I do not consider it to be a _problem_. Loki’s personality is, as we all can testify, well, _challenging._ But what worried us all was the apparent mismatch between his recent actions and the three so-called _Core Rules._ Loki gave me some clues straight away, and when I thought through everything he said in our first session I was fairly sure I had cracked it. This morning I probed him a little about his time with Ms Barton, and how he felt about the other original _Companions_ , and now I am positive.”

She swiped her screen a couple of times to find the page she wanted, then tapped twice to send it to the large monitor on the wall beyond the end of the table. A flow chart appeared. “Loki is proud, haughty almost, but with an underlying vulnerability due to his back story.” She glanced around the table. “I assume you are all familiar with that?” Everyone nodded. “Good. Well, add to that the fact that he was dismissed after just a week by Chantal, and in favour of Oakley, who, forgive me, Amanda,” the Council chairperson smirked but inclined her head in agreement, “we are all aware is someone whom Loki considers to be his inferior. Once he was reactivated here on the station, he had to process his rejection by Chantal, his fresh imprinting onto Hannah, and being in a new environment all at once. He managed this apparently seamlessly, but all of it was stored up and added to his psyche. He told me that when Hannah told him she wanted to have a child, he was overwhelmed with emotion. Real emotion, you see, colleagues. Not the facsimile he had been programmed with, but true feelings he had learned to feel in the years he has spent with Hannah and the rest of us,”

Miriam cleared her throat. “I think we all believe that the _Companions_ express genuine emotion. How else could those of them without the algorithm fall in love?” Her cheeks were pink.

“I agree, and I am glad that you feel that way. But this is proof of how complex their emotional lives can be, and how those relate to the core rules. Loki was feeling things, _is feeling things_ he doesn’t quite understand.” She paused, trying to formulate the precise words. “It is my belief that he believed that having a male child was right for him and Hannah. I think he did not tell her what he was doing because he knew she was in an extremely vulnerable state and would possibly not be able to make a rational - _in his opinion_ \- decision on the matter. So in his mind he was doing the best thing for her.”

“Why would he think it was the right thing for them, though?” Charlotte was visibly confused.

“Loki needs a family. He _wants_ a legacy. He knows that Hannah needs a family too, having lost hers so young. The rational part of him sees the need for the human race to get back to a more normal state of being; the emotional side, the hubristic aspect of his personality makes him feel that it is his right to insist that first male child must be _his son._ ”


	11. And Ask of Thee Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When thou dost ask me blessing, I’ll kneel down and ask of thee forgiveness…” William Shakespeare, King Lear

Hannah walked home the long way, taking in a short amble around the _Verdi_ concourse to see what was new there, then down to the park to admire the apple blossom. She lacked genuine enthusiasm for anything, but experience had taught her that faking it could help to lift her mood. As did communing with what remnants of nature were to be found on _OB4._ She sat down a little way up the small bump of higher ground across from the orchard and watched the children fresh out of school as they ran around and played catch. Bands of workers were moving through the orchard, carrying large brush-like tools that they swept over the trees. Hannah saw the wave of movement as they passed up and down the rows slowly; they were pollinating the flowers to ensure a crop of apples later in the year. Just like the women there, the apple trees had lost their natural partners in the reproductive process. 

Hannah had a lot to think about, but for now one thing was filling her head: _he loves me_ , _more than ever._ That is what Claire had told her, and she felt it was true. _But is that enough?_ She still did not understand what had made him behave in the way he did. And if she did understand, would she be able to accept him: this - _apparently_ \- ‘new’ person in place of the Loki she had believed him to be for all this time?

A sharp sound from behind, her name being called in a piping voice made her look around and see Katherine Monmouth running pell-mell down the slope towards her, waving something in her hand.

“Auntie Han, Auntie Han, _loooooook!!!”_

Behind her Hannah could see Kitty’s elder sister also running in her direction, and, beyond Nell, their mother, waving and calling fruitlessly to her offspring. Cate arrived, red-faced and breathless, just as her youngest was explaining in her accustomed babble that she had made a picture for Hannah and _did she like it?_

“Sorry, Han. She was so excited when she spotted you that she ran off before I could stop her.”

“It’s fine. Now, come here, Kitty,” Hannah indicated her lap, “and show me what you’ve drawn.”

“It’s a _painting_ , done with proper paints, Auntie,” corrected the six-year-old seriously as she settled herself down. She pointed to a pink blob topped with a smaller yellow blob, just recognisable as a human. “That’s you,” her stubby finger moved to a longer, thin, green shape, “that’s Uncle Yoki, and that,” she smiled triumphantly as she indicated a smaller green ball, “is your little baby.”

Cate gasped. “Oh, Han, she must have heard us... I’m _so sorry-_ ”

“It’s _lovely_ , Kitty! Thank you, darling.” Hannah kissed the child’s glossy red-brown hair and was rewarded with a tight squeeze. Cate repeated her apology silently. Hannah shook her head, mouthing _It’s OK,_ but tears had begun to well up in her eyes.

Kitty made a solemn announcement. “You can _keep_ it, Auntie.”

“Can I? Wow, _thank you._ ”

The girls ran off to play on the swings below and Cate sat down beside her friend. “That was nice of you. It can't have been easy.”

Hannah shrugged. “She’s not to know. It was a sweet thing for her to do.” She looked at Cate’s worried face. “You have beautiful, clever, kind children. Just like I knew you would.” The two women held hands and watched as the Monmouth girls swung back and forth, their hair flying and their feet making arcs.

*********

Hannah arrived home, Kitty’s painting carefully rolled and stowed in her bag, to discover the quarters were filled with a delicious aroma. Garlic permeated the air; she could hear the rattle of pots and pans coming from the tiny kitchen.

“Loki, is that you in there?”

A handsome dark head appeared in the opening. “It is, Lady Hannah. I have taken the liberty of starting dinner.” He looked down, almost bashfully. “I became aware today that I have been neglecting my culinary duties, so I thought I should make you something.” He looked up carefully and gazed at her for a long moment. “Good nutrition is important.”

Hannah nodded. “It is. What are you making? It smells-”

“I would like it to be a surprise, if you do not object.”

“Well, I-”

“It is my belief you will like it, as the recipe combines some of your favourite ingredients.”

Hannah had to smile. _He is trying very hard,_ she thought. _I should be gracious_. “In that case, thank you. It seems today is my day for receiving unexpected kindnesses.” Loki cocked his head, but didn’t say anything. “I’ll just go and change into some more comfortable clothing.”

“The food will be ready whenever you wish, my dar-”

“Lovely!” Hannah swept past and went quickly into the bedroom before she started to cry. It had been a trying day, but she was determined to be fair to Loki. He was obviously making an effort and if there was to be any kind of rapprochement between them, they both had to give a little. _But after messing up with Mimi, talking about Mummy and Mama, then Kitty’s painting… One more thing might break the dam._

A few minutes later she emerged in looser clothing and barefoot. Loki was stooping over the table, putting bowls and glasses in place. A bottle of wine sat in a cooler, and there was a small dish of what passed for grated parmesan cheese in their brave new world of no cows. When he heard her step he turned and the smile she was rewarded with was the sweetest and the saddest she had ever seen. “Almost ready, my lady. Please, take a seat.” She watched him go back into the kitchen. He seemed a bit less defeated than he had last time she saw him. She hoped that was a sign he was gaining some self-knowledge, rather than just his old arrogance returning. Moments later he reappeared with a steaming bowl of pasta. Hannah regarded the brown and yellow speckled pile.

“This looks, um… interesting…?”

“Bucatini al sugo di noci, “ Loki announced in perfect Italian. “Walnuts, garlic and parmesan, with olive oil and pasta. All your favourite things.”

“It smells delicious, darling.” She waited for him to sit then leaned forward to take his hand. “Thank you.”

The two of them looked at one another for a long moment before Loki cleared his throat and reached for the serving spoon. “You are more than welcome. I… that is to say, I realise...er, you, um…”

“I do. Thank you, Loki.”

“Please, try some.”

She released his hand, picked up her bowl and passed it to him. He filled it and passed it back. Hannah held it up to her nose before putting it down. The scent of garlic, the dry tang of walnuts and the salty umami flavour of the cheese set her mouth watering. She hadn’t thought she had any appetite, but this smelled divine. Her first mouthful confirmed it. “Oh, Loki, this is fantastic! You are so clever. Did you invent it?”

He shook his head, but could not disguise his obvious delight. “I cannot claim credit for more than browsing the Italian section of the gastronomy archive. But once I had alighted upon this recipe, I felt you would appreciate its simplicity.”

Hannah was chewing, but she nodded vigorously until she had swallowed. “I do, it’s perfect. You can cook this again, anytime you like!” Loki gritted his teeth. Hannah was speaking of a future that included him; there was some hope, then.

Later, as he sat on the couch while Hannah cleared away at her own insistence, Loki allowed his thoughts to rerun his conversation with Julie that afternoon. The matters that he and Claire had discussed; all of those things had begun to make some sense of his feelings. He did not fully comprehend his motivation for deceiving Hannah as yet, but he had reason to believe that Claire would guide him to that.

“Coffee, Loki?”

“Yes, please. Shall I-”

“It’s fine, I’m on it.”

Hannah went back out and he leaned a little more into the back of the couch. He sat, his legs spread in his familiar posture, and thought. He tried to remember every tiny snatch of conversation he and Hannah had had about having a child. Somewhere in there were the clues, he was certain of it. Even if he could not recognise them, Claire would be able to, so he wanted to have all the evidence for her to peruse in the morning. He had amassed a good number of audio files by the time Hannah was putting the coffees on the table and sitting down beside him. She settled closer to him than he dared hope, and then she took his hand again. As her thumb rubbed over his palm, she did not turn her face to his, but began to speak.

“Thank you for that lovely dinner, Loki. It was very thoughtful of you. I know you are trying very hard to understand what happened....” She took a deep breath. “I love you, Loki. I do. But I would still prefer to go on my own tomorrow.”

Loki nodded. He had not expected anything to change yet. “I understand, and I did not cook the meal in the hope that it would alter your decision.”

“I didn’t think so. But…” _Is this mad? Am I being fair to either of us?_ Hannah turned and looked into Loki’s beautiful blue eyes, wide and round as he took her in. “I would like you to come to bed with me tonight. Not for, _you know_ … but I would like you to be there beside me. If you want to, that is.”

Loki nodded gulping. “I would...very much.”

It was awkward; Hannah almost regretted her invitation, because the room felt too small, and neither of them knew what to say. But once the lights were out and she felt his reassuring bulk in the bed beside her, she knew it was right. She did not expect to sleep, with thoughts of the procedure whirling in her head, but when she rolled over and was able to put her arm around his firm body, she slipped off into unconsciousness quite quickly.

*********

The room was cosy. All the rooms in the Obstetrics suite had a sort of homely comfort, whether their purpose was for the delivery of babies, for check-ups or for preparatory procedures for pregnancy, such as this one. The nurses were kind and spoke softly, but Hannah was nervous and desperate for a pee, something that would have to wait until after the scan. The door slid open and Miriam stepped in, dressed in her surgical gear. She smiled sweetly at Hannah. “How are you feeling, love? Not too anxious?”

Hannah smiled back. “Apart from the fact that my eyeballs are floating, no, I’m OK.” She paused. “I’m really sorry about yesterday, Mimi.”

“No idea what you’re talking about, Hannah darling. Now, let’s get on with this, shall we, so you can empty that poor bladder?” Maggie, the senior nurse/midwife who had come in with Miriam rolled the scanner closer to the bed and prepared the vaginal probe. “Now, I won’t lie: this is going to be a bit uncomfortable, but it won’t take long. It will almost certainly be quicker than the one you had when we were checking you out before. OK?” Miriam looked encouragingly at Hannah who nodded.

It was unpleasant, as all such internal examinations tend to be, Hannah reflected as she dressed afterwards. Some things just aren’t supposed to go in some places… That made her think of Loki, and she was interested to note that she felt none of the distress that had become usual when thoughts of him came to the front of her mind lately. The night before had been a bit strange, and this morning the odd formality between them had continued. But she felt real affection towards him again, and had nearly changed her mind about letting him accompany her. In the end she had not, and she still felt that was the right choice. It was too close to the heart of the matter.

Miriam was waiting in her consulting room when Hannah tapped on the door.

“Come in, come in.” The Medical Director was smiling broadly. “It’s good news, no need to look so anxious.”

“I’m… I’m not anxious, not really. Just not sure… so I’ve got some eggs, then?” Hannah sat on the chair, placed just to one side but close to Miriam’s.

“Oh yes, plenty for a harvest.” Miriam picked up her tablet. “So, shall I confirm your appointment for Monday?”

Hannah shrugged. “Yes, OK, but I want you to freeze the eggs for now.” Miriam looked up sharply. “All of them.”

“ _Okay..._ I see, yes.” Her pretty face became solemn. “Under the current...well, yes. Fair enough.”

“I’m not quite so sure now, about having a child.” Hannah felt a large lump in her throat. She was sure, but she wasn’t; she wanted a baby, a family, she still felt she needed that. But the situation had changed and now… “I just don't know, Mimi. It wouldn’t be right, not right now, to go rushing ahead.”

“I understand completely. Well, as you know, freezing does no harm, and once you and… when things are clearer for you, we can go ahead then, if you want to, darling.” Her hand, which she had laid over Hannah’s, squeezed a little and Hannah felt tears on her cheek. She wiped at them angrily.

“These stupid hormones! I’m a mess...” She looked up into Miriam’s kind brown eyes. “I really am very sorry about what I said to you yesterday. It was...I was just upset and you were the first person I spoke to, so I lashed out.”

“I know. It must have been awful for you, people staring and gossiping. We hope that Amanda’s statement will put a stop to that. And several of us are going to get around the place with our men this weekend, you know…” She lifted a hand and touched Hannah’s pale cheek. “I know you didn’t mean it, love. I can only imagine what you are going through. But I am sure that Claire can help him. Both of you.”

“I hope so, Mimi. I think things are already getting better, but...” She shrugged again. She wanted to believe, but her heart still hurt.

*********

“Are you concerned about Hannah’s scan, Loki?”

“I am sure that Dr Sanchez is adequately skilled in such things.”

“Oh she is, but I meant are you worried about the outcome?”

Loki looked steadily at Claire, apparently considering his answer. “I am not concerned that the treatment has not been successful, no. I am sure that it has. But as I told you, I do not believe that Hannah wishes for a child any longer.”

“Well, perhaps that is something we can talk about in a joint session.” She watched his face carefully. It seemed to brighten at her words. “I was thinking we might have our first one of those on Monday.”

“Has Hannah agreed to this? She did not say-”

“I have not put it to her yet, because I was waiting until I was sure you were ready. But you seem much calmer today, and a little less tense, am I right?” Loki nodded. “Then I will suggest it. I think we need to move on to that, so that you can gain some mutual understanding.”

Loki was quiet for a full minute. When he looked up from the carpet, which he appeared to have been analysing carefully, his eyebrows were raised. Claire thought he’d never looked more attractive. “We seem to have progressed very fast, compared to the cases I have read about in my investigation of therapy. Are you certain we are ready for joint sessions so soon?”

“I am, Loki. As I think we agreed at our first session, this is not a run-of-the-mill situation. And you are hardly a normal patient. You are highly intelligent, adaptable, you learn in the blink of an eye… And I am reasonably certain that you have worked out what has been happening to you already, in part at least… am I correct?” Claire’s eyes were twinkling with amusement at the way Loki’s expression had morphed as she spoke: from mild irritation to pride to something approaching happiness. She grinned as he nodded.

“I believe so, yes.” His face became still as he sent Claire the audio files he had been gathering. “I have been running over the conversations Hannah and I have had in recent weeks and I just sent you some examples. If I have guessed your hypothesis correctly, and understood it, I may have found some supporting evidence.”

Claire smiled, then picked up her tablet and opened the files. “Do you mind if I listen to these now?”

Loki inclined his head in agreement, so she tapped her screen and snatches of conversation played over the small speaker in the device. Mostly they were Hannah saying things to Loki, about babies, about how she felt at that moment, about random matters connected with the subject such as possible names, but the overall impression was of a woman at the mercy of her hormones. She seemed at turns snappy, sentimental, overwhelmingly capricious and not entirely rational. Of course, Loki was presenting partial evidence, but it did seem as if he had some basis for his subconscious belief that she was not in a fit state to make a major decision. _In his opinion_ … She put down her tablet and sat, her hands loosely clasped in her lap, looking at him for a while. He was tangibly calmer today, she thought. Something had changed.

“Tell me, Loki, have you been talking with Oakley, as we discussed?”

“I did once, but I do not feel entirely comfortable sharing, um, _intimacies_ with him. I tried to, and he was very keen to help. But then I thought of Miss Julie. She and I are friends, and have been such for some years. I have spoken to her twice now. She is kind and she seems to understand both Hannah and me, which is very helpful.”

“I see, yes-”

“I do not wish to appear ungrateful to Oakley, however. He did his best, I am sure, but Julie has a better grip on how to be a friend, I think.”

“I don’t doubt it, Loki. Well, that’s good. Has she given you good advice?”

Loki nodded, with a hint of the old smirk on his lips. “You need not worry that she is encroaching on your territory, Claire.”

“Oh, no. I’m not thinking that, not at all. I am pleased you have found someone to talk to, apart from me. Everyone needs a friend they can confide in, especially in times of trouble.”

“Indeed.”

“Good. Well, now, shall we talk about these files, and what they tell us?”

“As you wish. But there is one thing I should tell you. It might explain my better mood.”

“Oh yes?” Claire tried to be casual.

“Hannah and I enjoyed a pleasant dinner together. And she asked me to share her bed. We did no more than sleep, I hasten to add. But I feel that some progress has been made.”

“It sounds like it, Loki. Excellent. I am pleased, for you both.”

Loki smiled, and it was the first pure, uncomplicated smile Claire had seen from him.

*********

“How are you doing, Hannah?”

“I’m OK, I think, thanks.”

“Please, sit down.” Hannah lowered herself into the client chair, a large, comfy wingback. “How did it go this morning?”

Hannah shrugged. _I’m doing that a lot lately. Must be my Gallic heritage._ “It was OK, you know, as un-awful as it could be.”

“Were the findings what you hoped for?”

Hannah smiled grimly. “I’ve got plenty of eggs, yes.” She sighed. “I told Miriam I want to freeze them. I just can’t… not at the moment.”

“Of course.” Claire took a beat’s pause. “Loki told me you had a pleasant dinner together last night.”

“He cooked a lovely meal. He is trying very hard. I suppose I have you to thank for that.”

“Not entirely. It seems Julie has been helping him too, but I’d say that at least 80% of it comes from him alone.”

Hannah pondered this.

“Now, I have a suggestion about Monday. Do you have a time for your procedure yet?”

“15.00. Why?”

“I think Loki is ready for a joint session. How do you feel about that idea?”

“Already? Does this mean you have decided what’s wrong with him?”

“I wouldn't say something is _wrong_ at all. What I do believe is that we have discovered what lies behind his actions. Loki understands, more or less, the thought processes that led to his… what was it you called it, _unacceptable behaviour_?He says, and I agree, that he is ready to explain himself to you and to ask, properly, for your forgiveness.”

“I see. Yes, well… OK.”

Hannah walked home slowly an hour later. The week had been a veritable rollercoaster, from Monday’s trauma, the days of loneliness that followed and the confusion of emotions. Now it seemed there was hope around the corner… Her stride lengthened as she headed for the door to their quarters, anxious to see him again.


	12. For Men May Come and Men May Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For men may come and men may go, But I go on forever.” Alfred Lord Tennyson, The Brook.

Amanda was in the midst of a dream, and it wasn’t a good one. There was a hostile, noisy crowd gathered around a large metal cage on the main concourse, which was full of _Companions_. Oakley was among them, and she was hurrying by, trying not to hear his plaintive call to her. She shook her head and the movement woke her. “Oaks?” Her voice was croaky, fogged with fear. No reply. She turned and felt the sheet beside her. It was warm but empty. “Oaks! Where are you? _OAKLEY??!!”_

A floofy blond head appeared in the bedroom doorway. He stepped in and Amanda could see he was cradling Daisy in his long arms. “I’m here, love. Wassa matter?”

Amanda felt her racing heart begin to slow and let out a lungful of air. “Oh, my… nothing really. Just a bad dream.” Oakley sat down carefully on the bed beside her and she held out her arms for the baby. “Good morning, Daisy.” She kissed the soft curls on her little head. “Are you hungry, darling?”

The baby gurgled contentedly and Oakley shook his head. “I’ve fed, changed and washed her. She’s all set for our outing.”

“Ah yes.” As their contribution to the _business as usual_ campaign, the Oakley-Murrells _(or Murrell-Oakleys - it depended on her mood_ ) were planning a walk followed by a picnic lunch next to the orchard. Amanda snuggled into the pillow and luxuriated in the warm weight of her daughter against her body. Her nipples tingled and she thought she should express some milk if Daisy was fed already, to be sure she wouldn’t leak all the time they were out. Oakley swung his legs over and lay down beside them, offering his face up to Amanda who kissed his lips sweetly. “I’ll get up in a minute. I just need to clear my head a bit.”

“What was it about? Your nightmare, I mean?”

“Oh, nothing…Silly things. Things I don’t need to worry about anymore. I suppose that’s why: now I don’t need to keep a lid on them, they’ve reared their heads.”

He looked cautiously at her. “Something to do with the Loki business?”

She smiled; he was so tuned in to her feelings. “Yes. But that’s going to be OK. We’re pretty certain, actually.”

Oakley pulled a puzzled face. “He hasn’t been in touch with me again. You know, after our little chat... I dunno if I helped much, but he seemed grateful… yeah, _I know…_ ” They laughed. Gratitude wasn't a quality one expected from Loki.

*************

The main concourse of _OB4_ was humming, as was usual for a Saturday. Women were coming and going with children, shopping, in fitness gear or simply enjoying a snack at one of the cafés or coffee shops. Janet approached the entrance to _Companionship_ and was pleased to see Caius Martius waiting just inside the lobby. His handsome face lit up with a broad smile when he saw her.

“Good morning, Janet. How wonderful to see you again. You are looking particularly beautiful today.” His customary nodding bow was accompanied by what she could only think of as an eye-fuck, and one of epic proportions. Janet began to regret her plan to go out to lunch at the fancy new restaurant that had just opened on the _Verdi_ concourse. But, as she reminded herself, they had all day together. _And all night_. That thought made her stomach do several slow somersaults and a wave of light-headedness washed over her.

“Are you quite well, my darling?” Caius was holding her by the elbow and looking into her eyes with concern.

“Yes, yes,” she mumbled, “it’s you! You make me weak at the knees.”

He smiled in that slightly smug way of his and stood a little taller, she thought. “Well, shall we set off for our luncheon engagement?”

Out of the corner of her eye, Janet could see that Stacker Pentecost, Captain Nicholls and Sir Thomas were also greeting their respective dates in the lobby; clearly, the _Companions_ were as eager to demonstrate that all was well as the Council were. Not that it was unusual to see them around the station, especially at weekends when the general atmosphere of jollity meant plenty of couples and families having fun filled the public areas. She pulled her attention back to the delicious creature in front of her. “Yes, let’s do that.” She smiled at him and he fixed her with a look that told her lunch was going to be just the beginning.

_Verdi_ module was even livelier when they got there: quite a few people seemed to be in the process of moving into the accommodation, and the new nursery was up and running, Janet could see. Around half of the concourse units were already in active use, and several of the others had ‘opening soon’ displays. Everything had an operatic theme or an Italian one, or both. The spa (the fragrance of which was alluring; she made a mental note to book a session) was called _Violetta’s;_ the lingerie store she had used before her last visit to Caius was _Aida,_ and the bar/restaurant complex at the far end which was their destination was continuing the pattern. _Falstaff’s Tavern_ adjoined the linked but rather more formal _Mistress Quickly’s._ As they approached through the grove of olive trees in planters, Janet saw that there was a screen by the door to the bar showing a video loop of a slightly annoyed-looking Henry cutting a red ribbon to formally open the place. _I bet he hated that…_ Cate was just visible on the edge of frame, grinning. _I bet she LOVED it._

A strikingly beautiful brown-skinned woman greeted them at the door to the restaurant. “Dr Kowalska, Caius Martius, welcome. I am Miranda. Let me show you to your table.”

Following her as she wove her way through the room, her perfectly shaped bottom swinging and perfume trailing behind her, Janet was pleased to feel Caius’ hand on the small of her back and the warmth of his body close to hers. As they sat down, he kept his focus on her, not ignoring the _maitresse d’hôtel_ , simply dismissing her as mostly irrelevant. _I must congratulate Charlotte and her team on the perfection of his coding._

*********

In Loki and Hannah’s quarters there was none of the vibrancy or noise that signified weekends on _OB4_. All was still, all was quiet. Loki sat by the window, alternating his gaze listlessly between the view of the brown-grey clouds covering Asia far below and the novel he had downloaded onto his tablet. In an attempt to avoid all reference to family, children or love, he had chosen a convoluted thriller, but it was failing to hold his attention. No matter how hard he tried, he could not keep his eyes from drifting over to the door of what used to be Cate’s room, now Hannah’s home office. The door was closed, and this morning the barrier between them seemed as impenetrable as ever.

He had woken from a brief phase of sleep in the middle of the previous night to find Hannah’s hand resting over his heart. He had lain as still as possible, not wanting the sensation to stop. The warmth of her touch, the brush of her breath on his skin; the feeling of being needed, of being loved… he was certain now that without that, his life was over. Lying there in the dark listening to her breathing steadily in her sleep , he had almost convinced himself that it was all going to work out fine, that she would understand him and forgive him, and their life together would resume as before. More or less. Perhaps more, he dared to think for a nanosecond, perhaps with… But then she had stirred, whimpered in a dream and turned away from him with a deep sigh. And this morning she had risen and dressed without speaking to him at all, and gone into that room where she had stayed.

Noting it was almost 13.00, he set aside his tablet and went into the kitchen, searching for some ingredients for lunch. She had to be hungry, surely? Having assembled a plate of sandwiches, with apples and a glass of juice to complete the tray, he took it over and tapped lightly on the door.

“Hannah? I have made you a little lunch, since you missed breakfast. I thought you would-”

The door slid open.

The Hannah that was standing there before him was very like the one he had first seen, that night in the quarantine lab years before. She was pale and tired-looking but resolute. But the eyes...those were what had changed. Then, when she had looked at him through the window, they were filled with wonder, and with desire for him. Today there was none of that. Worse, there was a kind of emptiness that made his heart lurch.

“Thank you.” She reached for the tray but he was reluctant to release it. Hannah’s eyes dropped from his gaze. “I am working on something, and I must finish it. I’ll eat this at my desk.” He wanted to speak but she cut him off. “Thank you.”

The door separated them again and Loki felt his heart making its way to his boots. Slumping visibly, he drifted back to his seat by the window and allowed his eyes to lose focus. The gradual, unceasing rotation of _OB4_ had brought them around to a view of the vast emptiness of space, and it matched Loki’s mood perfectly. 

*********

Julie was having a lovely time. For once, she had allowed herself a proper day off: no nursery duty, no _Archives_ admin or research to catch up on; not even any housework as Ed had risen early and whisked through the cleaning and laundry with the inhuman speed he could deploy when called upon. They had enjoyed a fun, flirty lunch while the baby napped, and now they were strolling through the park prior to spending some time on the beach by the lake. She thought to herself how much lovelier all this would be if there were birds and butterflies filling the air, but under the circumstances, the surroundings were very beautiful.

She looked at Ed. He had Phoebe in her carrier on his back, and she was gurgling happily as she bounced lightly with his every stride. He was smiling, and his eyes were alight in a way she had never seen until the night they finally gave in to their mutual attraction. His obvious happiness made her thoughts turn to Loki, and she wondered how he was doing.

“I’m just going to check in with Loki, Ed.”

Her husband nodded and guided her over to a vacant bench just by the cider mill.

  * _Hi Loki. How are you feeling today? Jxx_



There was a long wait for a response, by the usual _Companion_ measure. Julie was about to send another message.

  * **_I am functioning satisfactorily. Hannah is in her office. L_**



Julie considered this unenlightening reply. Clearly, all was notgoing that well.

  * _Would you like me to come over? Or perhaps you could join Ed, Phoebs and me. We are on our way to the beach._
  * **_I fear I would not make an agreeable guest. Thank you for the invitation, but I think I will remain here._**



“What is it, Jules?” Ed’s voice was soft in her ear.

“I think perhaps I should pop over to Hannah and Loki’s. I’m a bit worried about him.”

“If you think you should, you go. Phoebs and I can go to the beach with Daisy and her Mum and Dad, can’t we sweetheart?” He nodded towards Amanda and Oakley, who were packing up their picnic nearby.

Julie kissed his cheek and stood up to do the same to the baby’s head which bobbed behind his as she chewed on her blanket. “Bless you, darling. I’d be happier if I can see him face to face.”

The corridor in the accommodation ring was eerily quiet as she walked along. Saturdays seemed to mean going out for the majority. Loki opened the door to the quarters before she had a chance to tap the hail panel.

“Miss Julie. It is kind of you to come but I do not feel particularly convivial-”

“I got that, Loki. I didn’t come to collect you. I came to see how you are.” Julie tried to look past his tall frame but it was filling the doorway. “Both of you.”

Loki stepped aside and allowed her in. “That is very kind of you. Hannah is…” Julie followed his baleful gaze to the closed door across the living room. She squeezed his forearm and sat down on the sofa.

“Still in there, then?”

He nodded and lowered himself onto the matching couch opposite. His face remained solemn. “I took her some lunch a while ago.”

“Have _you_ eaten, Loki?”

He smiled weakly. “Still watching over me, Miss Julie?” She responded with a smiling nod. “Yes, I had some toast and apple juice.”

“Good. Now, are you going to tell me why you are so down this afternoon?”

Loki recounted what had gone on, and Julie made a momentous decision. She had always been cautious when it came to other people’s relationships. Having made something of a mess of things with Magnus, and somehow not seen what was happening between her and Ed until the last moment, she didn’t feel qualified to offer advice. But as she had been asked by Loki to be his friend, she felt she had to at least try to talk to Hannah. She stood up. Loki looked surprised.

“Can I get you something? What-”

Julie walked over to the closed door to the home office and tapped lightly on it. She heard Hannah’s voice. “What is it, Loki? Do you want th-” The door opened and Hannah stood just inside holding out the lunch tray. Loki was gratified to note she had eaten the food. “Oh, Julie. What are you- sorry, _I mean,_ how nice to see you.”

Julie smiled warmly, took the tray, passed it to Loki and kissed Hannah on both cheeks. “I popped in to check on Loki and wanted to say hello.”

“I see… well, yes. Lovely.”

Loki cleared his throat. He was confused and unsure what Julie was up to, but was allowing events to play out. “I think I will leave you two ladies to talk. If you will excuse me, I need to take some exercise.”

“See you later, then, Loki!” Julie was afraid she was being a bit too loud, and altogether too jolly, but couldn't seem to help it.

Hannah nodded in agreement and he left, a little anxious but trusting in Julie’s wisdom.

Instead of coming out of her office, Hannah stepped aside and waved her hand at the small couch by the wall in there. Julie duly sat down. “Cuppa, Jules?”

Tea made, the two women sat facing each other in the small room. Hannah sipped hers for a few moments, then spoke. “I understand you’ve been helping Loki. Thank you for that.”

“It has been my pleasure. I like to think we are friends, he and I, and this is exactly the kind of situation that friendship is for, don’t you think?”

“It is, yes…” Hannah took a long look at Julie. Her shiny black curls and pretty round face glowed in the afternoon light. Motherhood and marriage seemed to agree with her.

“Loki told me you’ve been in here all day.”

“Did he? Yes… I suppose I have, now I think about it.”

Julie waited, watchful. Hannah seemed to be considering her next move. The conversation moved on to Phoebe and the nursery, and it began to feel almost like normal to Julie. But not quite. Time passed, and then the soft sound of the outer door opening heralded Loki’s return. Hannah smiled and called out to him.

“Come in, Loki. As Julie has brought it up, I might as well tell you both what I have been doing all day.” He cocked his head in that endearing gesture, and Hannah felt her heart squeeze. “Please, sit down.” She waited until he was settled next to Julie. They made a funny contrast: he was tall and lean and serious; she was short, rounder and beaming with good humour. Hannah turned her office chair and reached for the papers on her desk, then swivelled back around to face them.

“I have been writing something. Something I’d like you to read.” She was looking intently at Loki. Julie stood and coughed.

“That sounds like my cue to leave. Ed will be getting antsy, if I know him.” Neither of her hosts protested, so she kissed them both and headed for the door. Once out in the corridor and walking towards the lift, she took a deep breath and released it slowly. The atmosphere in there had been tense, strange, almost electric, and she had no real sense of which way things were going. Hannah was not her usual self; understandably so. But it meant Julie found her impossible to read, and that made her fret on Loki’s behalf. She leaned against the wall until her nerves had settled and she felt able to return to her own little family.

Now they were alone, Hannah looked at Loki’s worried face, trying to reassure him. She picked up her pen to show him. “I used old tech because I didn’t want you peeking until I was done.”

“I-I-I wouldn’t have,” he spluttered, but she dismissed his protests.

“Probably not, but I wanted to be certain.” She scanned the pages in her hands and then passed them to him. He reached over and took them reverently, as if they were some ancient, precious manuscript. He glanced at them then looked questioningly at Hannah’s face. “I have written down as much as I can remember about my childhood. About how I felt, about what happened to me after Mummy died and I was all alone and had to find places to stay.” She took in a deep breath. “I wanted you to understand that part of my life, Loki. So you could understand me a little better…” She scooted her chair on its castors, moving close enough to the couch so her hand could rest on his knee.

The room was quiet, the almost undetectable rotation of the station gradually changing the view through the small window above the desk as Hannah sat, hands folded in her lap as Loki read her day’s work. She watched as emotions were painted on his beautiful face, and he stiffened in an attempt to maintain control. He was only partially successful: by the time he had finished the final page, tears were falling down his pale cheeks, and the strong curve of his chin was shiny with them.

She stood, and he too got to his feet. “Loki, I…”

He shook his head and took a step closer, his eyes wet and desperately searching hers. She opened her arms and he embraced her fiercely, shaking as he struggled to hold in the sadness that was overwhelming him. “I am so sorry, my darling Hannah. So sorry that you... I had no idea… I knew you had been orphaned, like me, and so young… but this…”

Hannah found herself comforting him, rubbing her palm over his strong back and loving the feel of his weight against her. She felt better than she had in some time; certainly more than she had since Monday and the beginning of all this. Somehow, by his apparent betrayal of her trust, Loki had forced her to face up to some things she had been pushing aside, and now the pent-up grief had been released she was reborn. “It’s OK, Loki. I never talked about it… I’ve never told anyone most of what you’ve just read. I just buried it all.” She kissed his hair and the sensation made him lift his head sharply to look into her face with wonder. “I should thank you, Loki. If you hadn’t...well, I probably wouldn’t have… well, nothing would have changed, put it that way.”

She wanted to kiss his mouth then. It was so close, and it looked so inviting. But it was still too soon. She brought her right hand up and wiped the tears off his cheek, making him smile ruefully. “I am sorry for making this about me, my darling Hannah. This is your pain; your loss.” The way he looked at her then, with such tenderness and pure, unadulterated, uncomplicated love, tore away the last of her resistance and she gave in to her impulse.


	13. Be My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come live with me, and be my love, And we will all the pleasures prove…” The Passionate Shepherd to His Love, Christopher Marlowe.

_This is like the first time I kissed her. No… it is better_

All was quiet in the room, but it was a welcome and precious, intimate stillness. Loki’s large, cool hand was gently holding the back of Hannah’s head. He tasted her - _tea, apple, her special, individual flavour_ \- and he noted every tiny sensation he was feeling. Her hair was slippery, like fine silk running through his fingers; her cheek, where his elegant nose nuzzled it, was soft as new-washed linen and fragrant as a damask rose; her breath was sweet and rapid, and he wanted this kiss to go on until the end of time. Carefully, he moved his other hand, which had been resting on her lower back, to wrap around her waist and hold her closer to him, and Hannah settled into his body, the soft and yielding parts of her filling the gaps and warming him. She sighed and pulled her face away a fraction. Loki held his breath.

“I didn’t mean to do that.”

Her eyes were sparkling as she looked into his from no distance away. Still, he waited; frozen in the horrible, persistent fear that she would push him away and that would be the end. The end of everything. Hannah stayed where she was, held in his embrace, her breaths washing over him as he returned her gaze. After a minute, her eyes flicked to his lips and then she was kissing him again. This time she pulled him against her, pressing herself harder into his firm body, as if not wanting the slightest space to divide them. The kissing went on for a long time. Their lips explored, their tongues, too, but it was as if they were new lovers, learning each other, taking their time. And there was no urgency; just the simple, gentle intimacy of two people deeply in love.

Hannah understood now. Loki had not explained himself, but she knew he would in a day or two, and she could wait for that. What she understood was her own need, and how the fear of the loss of all this, of his love and devotion had made her withdraw rather than be hurt again. Now she saw herself more clearly, and she turned fresh eyes on him. There was no artifice in him, not this day. There was nothing withheld or hidden. No tricks, no lies, no deceit. As she had watched him reading her story, she saw it clearly: his compassion for her, and his deep love. Somehow, as they stood in each other’s arms in that small room, her love for him was reborn, stronger and more accepting than before.

But not unconditional.

Finally, she pulled back and rested her hands on his shoulders, her fingers under his long black hair just teasing the skin of the base of his neck on either side. His eyes remained watchful, knowing she still held his happiness - _his future_ \- in her hands. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. She smiled and she saw a flicker of hope cross his beautiful, serious face.

“I love you, Loki.”

“And I you, Hannah.”

“I know. But that alone can never be enough.”

“I understand that.” He chewed at his lower lip for a moment. “I know I have a long road to travel to regain your trust. But I hope that one day, not too far in the future, you will be able to forgive me.”

Hannah smiled again, and pecked him on his lips. Then, reconsidering, she pulled his lower lip teasingly between her teeth and suddenly they were kissing again. A moan rose from deep inside him, a sound so elemental and erotic that she felt the last of her self-control leaving. She whimpered in response and Loki rapidly swept her off her feet and into his arms. He paused in the doorway, waiting for her assent and when he received it in the form of the mildest of nods, he strode across to their bedroom. Reverently, he laid her down on their bed and began to undress her slowly, making her feel as if it was their first time. Hannah sighed longingly; she needed him. She had never needed his touch, his body, all of him more than today, and he was giving himself to her in the perfect way.

“Are you too warm, my darling?” His rumbling voice was just loud enough to hear.

“A little.”

He adjusted the room temperature and paused, hovering over her to take in the sight: his love, his only true love, waiting for him in their bed once more. _At last_

“Oh Loki, don’t, it’s OK. Come here.” Hannah reached up, cupping his head in her hands and he lowered himself to rest on her. Please, make love to me, Loki.”

He did.

*********

The beach was crowded, and the vast dome that covered _Lake Chantal_ was filled with the noise of happy people splashing and families enjoying Saturday afternoon together. Ed, however, was not having a good time. Julie had been gone much longer than expected and had not answered any of his increasingly frantic messages. Noticing his agitation, Amanda put her hand on his forearm.

“I’m sure she’s fine, Ed. Try not to worry.”

He smiled awkwardly, shrugging. “I never check, you know...” he tapped his head to indicate the capacity to locate anyone on _OB4_ he shared with all the _Companions._ “But she usually answers my messages. I can’t help but be concerned, Amanda.”

Oakley laughed his funny, sniggering laugh. He had no such compunction. “She’s on her way here, Ed. You should see her, any minute-”

“Jules!” Ed had got to his feet and was waving one long arm high above the crowd to attract her attention. “We’re over here!” Once sure she had spotted him, he turned his attention to Oakley, lowering his voice. “I would appreciate it if you kept your eyes off my wife’s whereabouts in future.”

Oakley grinned, unabashed, but held up both hands, palms to Edward. “Sorry, mate. Just trying to help.”

Julie arrived a moment later, to see an odd tableau. Everyone except Ed was sitting on a picnic blanket, the babies in their travel-seats in the centre. But there was an evident tension: her normally benevolent husband was glaring at Oakley, who was also being pinched hard on the upper arm by his own partner. He was attempting, not very seriously, to escape her grasp. “What’s going on here, then?”

“Nothing important,” said Ed through gritted teeth. He sat and patted the space beside him. “Everything OK with Loki?” He looked at her face. “Julie?”

Julie smiled sadly. “I think it’s all OK. Hannah and he … _Oh, Ed, she_... something is happening today, I’m not sure what, but I think, that is, I _hope…_ I hadn’t better say too much. It’s their business.” Ed nodded, understanding, then reached for Julie’s hand and squeezed it. She turned her head and kissed him sweetly.

Amanda watched all this, but kept her own counsel. She took a sideways look at Oakley, who had resumed cooing over Daisy. He seemed untroubled, as was typical; nothing seemed to perturb him for long. Resigned to her man’s unsinkable character, she allowed her attention to be drawn to the children’s slide that had been installed a little way out into the lake. Henry was stationed by the bottom of it, his body taut and his face a mask. His eldest daughter Nell was at the foot of the ladder waiting her turn behind a handful of others, but little Kitty Monmouth was already at the top, ready for her chance to experience the adrenaline rush. She was waving from her high vantage point to someone off to Amanda’s left, presumably Cate, and grinning wildly. Then the fiery princess pushed off eagerly and whooshed at an impressive velocity, down the slide to where her father was waiting - Amanda assumed - to catch her.

To the King’s evident horror, he mistimed his grab, and there followed a few moment’s frantic plunging and clutching in the water before he dragged his daughter up out of the lake and held her against his pale chest. Kitty was spluttering but squirming and pushing at her father, trying to extricate herself from his vice-like grip. Amanda smiled to herself; Henry’s daughters had the reckless rebelliousness of his own youth and their mother’s spirit. Try as he might, he would never tame them.

The Knightons missed all this, as they concentrated on each other. Ed put one long arm around Julie’s shoulders and leaned his dark blond curls against her shiny brown-black ones. “But why didn’t you answer my messages, love? I was worried.”

“Oh, whoops!” She pulled out her small tablet and switched the power back on, grinning up into his face. “I thought I should, you know, while… Is that _Cate_ shouting…?”

**********

Hannah was reluctant to move, but that buzzing was irritating. She had just found the perfect position, with as much of her skin against Loki’s as possible and her back not hurting at all. She was on her left side, draped against him as he lay on his back, his right arm under her shoulders and that hand teasing the skin of her upper arm. Hannah had one leg over his, her toes wriggling on his shin from time to time. The tablet shook again, and she ground her teeth. _It might be something importan_ t. She let out a sigh and made to turn towards the edge of the bed. A strong arm kept her in position.

“Stay where you are, darling. It’s just a message from Claire to us both.” Loki’s dark, chocolaty voice rumbled up from the bottom of his chest; she wasn’t sure if she heard it or just felt it through her cheek as it rested on the cool firmness of his pectoral muscle. He let out a short, wheezy chuckle, shaking her in an oddly pleasing way. “I’ll acknowledge it for you. She has some homework for us, but you have anticipated her.”

Hannah moved her right leg a tiny bit, enough to make her thigh just brush the tip of his penis and make him gasp, then she pressed her sex against him and whimpered softly. “Thank god. I never want to move. I want to stay here like this forever.”

“An admirable, if impractical, aim.”

Hannah combed her fingertips through the small patch of black hair over the centre of his sternum. “What’s the assignment, then?”

She raised her chin to see Loki looking down at her, smiling. How she had missed that sight! “She wants us both to, _er_ …write a few pages about experiences in our past we _think_ may have contributed to our, um... current situation.” There was a twinkle in his eye as the humour of it hit him, and then Hannah got the joke as well.

“Haha! Well, I don't think there is any mystery about what led us _here…_ ” Her hand moved down and cupped his balls as her pelvis undulated against his thigh. They both moaned loudly and then they were kissing again. Hannah pressed Loki onto his back as she sat up and straddled him. “I think your homework is going to have to wait a little longer, darling.”

********

“Gaaahhhhrrrmmmmph!”

The sound of a bored and slightly exasperated male drifted in from the living room. Freddie was not amused that she was working - _again._ His partner smiled to herself and reread the sentence she had just typed. Sunday was normally a day of rest for Claire. But then, she was supposed to be retired now; _every day_ should be a day of rest. However, recent events had necessitated this brief but eventful return to her professional life, and happily, one focussed on the aspects of it she found most rewarding. The therapy sessions with Loki and Hannah had been the most stimulating thing she had done in years - time spent with Freddie excepted, of course. But the crisis with the _God of Mischief_ had meant that her commission from the Council to look into the moral and ethical aspects of Dr Manske’s research had been put onto the back-burner.

But not entirely.

The two matters were, of course, related. And Loki, despite being an android modelled on a fictional non-human, did provide some insight into male attitudes and behaviour. For all Loki’s ‘alien demi-god’ status, he was, after all, a human creation. And human writers and filmmakers inevitably base characters and events in their works on their observations of those around them. Add to that Loki’s learning software, and how that was made to act in a way rooted in human psychology, and Claire was pretty certain she could draw some conclusions from all that had happened. But first she wanted confirmation of her assumptions from the most impeccable sources, so yesterday she had asked Hannah and Loki to write down what they believed motivated their recent behaviour, preferably in time to bring it to the joint session on Monday morning. She had received a rather cryptic reply from Loki and nothing from Hannah, although he had confirmed she had received the message. She hoped all was well, and tried not to worry. She felt the sessions had been helping them both, and probably prompted a dialogue between them. If they needed her help, they both knew how to contact her.

In the meantime, she had returned to the matter of the mooted human tissue trials, and the possible creation of viable male embryos. It was that she was working on in her office as her young husband grumbled restlessly on the couch. “Why don’t you go out, Freddie? I have to work.”

“I know,” he sighed dramatically, “but it’s _boring._ Everybody else is busy. All the actives have dates, the other lot are all with their families…”

Claire turned her chair. She could just see the top of his head, resting on the arm of the sofa. She got up, walked into the room and stroked his hair. Freddie lifted a long arm and caught her hand in his. “I’m sorry darling. I’m reasonably sure this will be the last weekend of all this. I promise, we can do something together next Sunday.” Claire bent down and kissed him. Freddie took his opportunity and held her against his mouth. Reluctantly, Claire broke the embrace and straightened up. “I really do have to work, darling.”

“Righty-o.” He swung his legs to the front of the couch and stood up. “I’m off out for a walk, then. Leave you to it. I’ll be back in time to make dinner, darling.” He saluted her and swept out, a cloud of cologne in his wake. Claire watched him go: so beautiful, so kind, so _hers._ She sighed and turned back to walk into her office again.

*********

“ _Janet_ …”

Caius’ voice was low and soft, and coming from just by her ear. Reluctant to admit the morning had come, she grumbled and wriggled a little deeper under the covers.

“My darling, I am afraid the hour is upon us.”

“I know.” Janet felt her heart get heavier, sinking down in her chest. Her time with him was up. She had spent almost twenty-four hours in his charming and sexy company, and now she had to go back to the real world. And the hardest part was she knew he had a date with another woman that afternoon. Sensing the first trickles of jealousy permeating her gut, she sat up and turned. A warm hand resting on her thigh made her pause.

“I know it is not pleasant for you, Janet. I confess, today I am finding it rather uncomfortable myself.”

She looked into his face and saw what looked like sadness there. _Does he really feel it too? Or am I projecting? Or is he faking because he can sense that’s what I want from him?_ “Yes, well, we are where we are, and all that...I must get dressed.” Hurrying to the bathroom, Janet closed the door with as much dignity as she could muster, then sat on the toilet and stifled her sobs with a towel. After a few minutes’ wallowing she regained control and asked the computer to start the shower. “I should have guessed I’d be stupid enough to start falling in love with him,” she mumbled as she let the warm water run over her head. “Get a grip, Kowalska! Act your age!”

Some time later, dried, perfumed and dressed, Janet bade farewell to Caius Martius just inside the doors to his beautiful room. It was the time for all of last night’s visitors to leave, and she could hear the muffled sound of partings taking place all along the _Companionship_ corridor. She stood enveloped in his long muscular arms and rested her cheek on his shoulder. It was taking all of her inner strength not to cry; not to cling desperately to him and beg him not to see the woman who had booked a date with him today. But he was a _Companion._ It was what he was made for, after all. Janet visualised a steel core inside herself and straightened up. She almost crumbled when she looked into his face, however: his eyes were wet and full of distress. He took a juddering breath and spoke through gritted teeth.

“Will I see you again soon, my darling?”

“Yes… Would that please you?”

Caius looked at her almost pleadingly as his jaw softened and his fingers stroked her cheek. “More than I can possibly convey.”

*********

Amanda was lying on the couch reading when Oakley lifted her legs and slid under them. “She’s out for the count, at last… _thank fuck!_ ” Daisy had kept them awake for most of the night but was now sleeping peacefully. His partner eyed him sceptically.

“Do you watch _me_ , Oaks? Keep tabs on me when we’re apart, I mean?”

He shrugged, a look of faux-innocence on his beautiful face. “Have you been worrying about that since…? I might occasionally just, you know, _check in…_ if I have a free moment and I’m feeling a bit, you know…” He smirked and slid his hand up the inside of her thigh.

Amanda snorted. “You’re always feeling a bit, ‘ _you know_ ’, you randy git! That’s rather intrusive, Oaks. And an abuse of privilege, or something, I’m sure.”

“Is it?” He appeared genuinely shocked. “But you’re my… I mean, I don’t _spy_ on you or anything. It’s just every now and then, so I know how much longer my balls have to wait…” The hand was drifting closer to the top of Amanda’s leg. She squirmed a little and he chuckled darkly as he began to stroke her through her trousers. “Not feeling too tired, darling?”

Amanda sat up and grabbed Oakley by the neck. “Not a chance, _lover-boy_.” Their mouths met roughly and Amanda felt that familiar urge to devour him that had engulfed her the first time she saw him. There was something about him that inspired it in others, too; since he was able to ‘retire’, more than once she had seen women gazing greedily at him. _Former clients, presumably._ His tongue was probing her mouth, then he broke the kiss to suck her neck and she groaned. “God, yes, please, Oaks… now. I need you, _NOW._ ”

Oakley smirked as he slid off the sofa and kneeled beside it, dragging her trousers down, panties too, while simultaneously wriggling out of his own joggers. He fell on Amanda, licking her firmly and forcing her to stuff her fist in her mouth so as not to shout and wake the baby. It was fast, hard and no-nonsense; parenthood had taught them not to waste time when they had such an opportunity. No sooner had she crushed his head between her thighs while she grunted and squeaked her way through her orgasm, than she was pulling Oakley up and into her.

“Fuck, that’s _so bloody good…”_ His hot breath was on her neck as he panted, holding still to appreciate the sensation. “You feel so _fan-fucking-tastic_ , babe.”

“Silver-tongued devil.” Amanda snorted. Her man was no poet, but he made up for it in other ways.

“I could just...I dunno, _live here forever._ ” He allowed his mouth to wander up her neck and across to her plump, dark pink lips. He teased and sucked as his hips began to rock. “Fuck, I love you, _so much, Mands…_ ”

“Yeah, me too...” she breathed, as the coil began to tighten in her pelvis again, “ _Forever_ , yeah...that sounds like heaven…”

**********

Hannah was fixing dinner. In a natural break, she went to the doorway to check on Loki, and saw him sitting at the end of the couch by the window. But unlike before, his posture was straight but not tense; he gave off an air of concentration, not distress.

“Everything OK, Lokes?”

He turned his head and a warm smile lit up his beautiful pale face. “Yes, my darling. I am doing my homework.”

“I assumed. Going well?”

“It is mostly complete. I just hope that my hypothesis concurs with Dr Claire’s.” A momentary flash of concern crossed his face. _Perhaps I have misunderstood… is this really over, or am I still far off course?_

“Has she given you any indications?”

“Not overtly. But the questions she asked… I am sure you know what I mean… they have guided me towards my own conclusions. And she seemed pretty convinced by the evidence I presented on Friday.”

“Evidence?”

He nodded, smiling slightly. “A few audio recordings. I believe we are in accord. Well,” he stood up, smoothing his moleskin trousers and turning towards her, “we shall soon find out, I suppose.”

Hannah walked over and put her hand on his chest before looking up into his eyes. “Am I going to have a chance to read what you’ve written? Before we go?”

Loki frowned, and shook his head. “I would prefer not, if you do not object too much…?” Hannah shrugged. “It is just that-”

“No need to explain, I get it.” She stretched up on tiptoe to kiss him quickly, ready to return to her cooking. “Dinner in about twenty OK?”

Loki caught her in his arms and kissed her back, but slow and deep, finally releasing her reluctantly. “Perfect, my lady. Like you.”


	14. Courage to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Those who have courage to love should have courage to suffer.” The Bertrams, Anthony Trollope.

“Self-knowledge is a thing much to be desired; an ideal state, a goal to aim for, for all intelligent beings. But, as you may guess, it is a quite different concept for a _Companion_ than for a human. Human memory is, as I understand it, imperfect, selective and on occasions, misleading. We _Companions_ have, by our very nature, perfect recall of all our experiences, both real and those which have been implanted to form our personalities and provide us with a life story to call upon. But remembering events with perfect clarity is not the same as understanding our emotional responses to them, and through that, ourselves. I am forming a theory that this is, in part, due to how we _Companions_ remember feelings. From what I have been able to learn by examining those parts of the _BES_ archives that remain, it seems that the emotional programming for each _Companion_ was done as a separate process and only attached to the memory functions after the fact - a design flaw, in my view, albeit a minor one. Because it means there is a degree of detachment, in my own case at least, when I think of my early life. By that I do not suggest I feel nothing, no emotions, when I think of my childhood, or of the people who brought me up and lied to me every day; of the many betrayals that marked my life before Chantal. It is not particularly easy to explain, not least since I can never fully understand what the process is like for you, but it is as if I have to consciously call up the emotional memory separately. But as I said, this is true only of my long-term memories. When it comes to things that truly happened to _me_ ,” a long hand was raised gracefully and he touched his chest fleetingly with his fingertips, “it is much simpler and more immediate for me to recall how I felt or feel now about it. I assume this is because I have learned and evolved, and the emotions I am recalling are genuine ones, unlike the false ones artificially attached to my implanted memories.”

The chairs in the therapy room had been arranged in a small circle and Hannah watched Loki as he spoke. His eyes had the distant focus they always took on when he was retrieving something from his memory banks. He seemed relaxed, but she noticed his right knee was bouncing, almost imperceptibly, as it sometimes did when he was tense or anxious. His lovely voice was measured, however, and betrayed no nervousness as it filled the small room. From her left she heard Claire take a deep breath beside her and shift her position slightly.

“It is important to understand, however, that despite their fictional nature, those implanted emotional reactions are as strong as any others; in some cases, stronger. And that when I feel something now, I am often transported to times when I felt that way in my past - whether in fact, or in, um, _fiction_.” He smirked a little, and Hannah found her own lips curling in a smile. He was accepting so much about himself in a way she had not seen from him in the past. “So, to summarise so far, I am reasonably certain that my feelings, while being very like human emotions, differ in some important ways.”

Loki seemed to come out of his near-trance and look up, scanning Claire’s face rapidly, then moving to linger more on Hannah’s. “Does this make sense to you both, so far?”

Claire waited a moment to see if Hannah would speak. She simply nodded silently, so Claire said, “Yes, I think so,” and smiled encouragingly. She wasn’t completely sure where Loki was going with this line of argument, but she admired his intelligence. “Good. Then I shall continue.” Loki’s face once more took on the mask of concentration all _Companions_ shared when they were reading a file or message internally.

“With the help of Claire, I realised what I needed to do. I have had to comb through many memories, searching for clues to explain my irrational reaction to the details of Dr Manske’s research, and the prospect of viable male embryos. It has been a difficult process for me, not because I am not capable of locating and analysing the data, but because it necessitated an acceptance on my part of fallibility. The very thought that I might be mistaken, that I had done the wrong thing, was a painful one for me. Of course, I have been in the wrong before, but I have always found it very hard to admit that, even to myself, and certainly to others. In my past, when I have made errors, I have been punished beyond all proportion. Exile, torture, imprisonment; the loss of all I loved and cherished. The memory of that must go in part to explain my reluctance to admit the possibility of a mistake, even now. But, I hasten to add, I do accept I have been wrong this time, Hannah. What follows is not in any way an attempt to excuse my actions; merely to explain them, I hope.”

Once again, he looked up, and eyes searched Hannah’s. She was watching and listening expectantly. When their eyes met, she smiled at him and he returned it. There was a long moment when they stayed like that, and it felt comfortable. “I intend to deal with what has occurred as two separate issues: my extreme emotional reaction to the possibility of a viable male child, and the way I behaved in the light of that.” He raised his eyebrows and paused, allowing for comment. “My life until now has been characterised by a search for belonging, ever since I discovered my true parentage. The trauma of that moment, of realising that instead of being in my own family, I was in fact a hostage - _an abductee_ \- and never going to be considered the equal of my so-called brother…”

Hannah’s heart ached as she saw the pain in him; not just his face but his entire body was full of it. She knew none of this was real, that it was all fiction; but it was part of Loki’s life, nonetheless. Whatever his faults, it was hard to imagine how anyone could endure what he had and not be altered by it. 

“But the fact is I was entrusted, by Frigga, with the staff of Odin and the rule of Asgard during Thor’s absence. I was the _rightful_ king, even if only as a regent during the _Odinsleep_. What followed, my exile and the experiences I suffered made me quite insane for a time. I was not fully in control of my actions. On my return to Asgard I might have tried to explain myself, but Odin’s attitude towards me was so… _unreasonable_ that it made my behaviour worse than ever. And that, to my eternal regret, led to the death of the only person who had never doubted me.” He swallowed, struggling.

“It’s OK, Loki. I know. You don’t have to-”

“But I _do_ , Hannah. I have to face up to my shortcomings as Frigga’s son, so I can move on and perhaps, one day, be a good father.” His eyes were wet but he had regained control. “I spent years aching for revenge. Even when I allowed my affection for Thor to rekindle, I still could never feel truly loved in his family. Nor could I return to Jotunheim, and so I remained adrift. I was without a home, without a family, without a purpose.” He paused for a moment. “And there ends the fictional part of my emotional life.” He smiled sadly. “I was to have more pleasant things to come, or so I believed. Chantal was my chance for redemption.” He sighed. “But I was found wanting, yet again.”

Claire spoke up this time. “We discussed this, Loki. It was not a failure on your part.”

“I know. Julie said the same thing, and I understand that, _rationally_. But it _felt_ that way to me. When I reactivated in the medical quarantine lab, I realised immediately that Chantal had not chosen me. It was deeply painful. I had to process the fact that once more, I had been rejected.”

“Oh Loki, yes, I-”

He turned back to Hannah as she spoke. “And so when you and I decided to have a child, it was more important to me than I could express. I need to feel I belong. I need to be part of a family; _my own family_. I am sure you understand that desire, Hannah.”

“I do, yes. You know I do.”

“Yes. And somehow, the prospect of having a _son_ : the first son to be born for generations, to be father to that _first, new, man_ … to me it felt like the most perfect way to wipe out all the bad things, all the pain and loss and be…” He was on the edge of the chair, hands waving, eyes blazing with passion. Then, as he searched for the words that would not come easily, he softened his stiff, urgent pose and looked at Hannah. “If I absorbed anything from my so-called father, it was that male royal progeny are important, especially in Asgard. Odin tried to tell me he had taken me in the hope I could provide a future means of bridging the gap between Jotunheim and Asgard,” his jaw tightened visibly, “but that was a lie, yet another among so many. He simply wanted to rob Laufey of his child; that is my belief. I was his trophy to bring out and wave in his enemy’s face at the most opportune moment.” He paused briefly. “To him, male heirs matter more. Do you see? When the possibility of one of my own arose, it gripped me, and I lost all perspective. I could see only the chance of instantly making a family, gaining the status I craved and going down forever in human history. This time, for something worthwhile. Something _good._ ” He laughed breathily and opened his arms. “I thought I had it. I lost my wits.”

Hannah nodded. Claire smiled, proud that her patient had not only confirmed her hypothesis but seemed to have learned so much about himself in the process. But there was more to come, and Loki visibly steeled himself once again.

“But now we must turn to the more painful matter. As I said earlier, the way in which I treated you, Hannah, was utterly inexcusable. Even allowing for what I have just explained, that I was not completely of sound mind, I should never have done what I did. I treated you at best shabbily, at worst, without the respect you should be able to expect from me above all others.” Suddenly, he stood and took a pace across the room to bring him in front of Hannah’s chair and dropped to his knees. He looked pleadingly at her. “Please, I beg you to forgive me. I took what was your understandably erratic behaviour while enduring your hormone treatment as an excuse to ride roughshod over your feelings and attempt to deny you your right to self-determination. I never stopped loving you Hannah, not for a moment, but I freely admit that I did allow my emotional state to rule my actions. But I hope you can see that I have learned from this, and I swear to you now that I will never, ever allow my wishes to come before yours again.” He took her hands in his and bowed his head. “I have caused you great pain, and that is something I will strive never to do again. Please, please Hannah, say you will forgive me. If not today, then one day, in future.”

*********

The Council were in agreement. After weeks of careful study and wide-ranging, lively discussion, they had concluded that the matter of advancing Johanna Manske’s research had to be put to the people. It was simply too significant for them alone to either accept or reject the possibility. Claire’s advice had been to shelve the entire project, but the five women elected by their peers to make exactly this kind of choice had decided it would be better to have a plebiscite. And importantly, they had agreed to organise an accompanying education campaign, so that when the day of the vote came, the electorate would be making an informed decision. But they were unanimous: as a group, the Council was going to recommend a ‘no’ to further research for now.

Janet was happy - professionally at least. She was tasked with drawing up the programme of information broadcasts and publications, and arranging the official public meetings. In fact she had started work on that some time before the final motion was passed in Council; it had been part of her original brief when the matter was first brought before them. Best of all, she could go to Johanna with a clear conscience and tell her that the decision was out of her hands. Janet was only too aware of the dangers of extending the frontiers of science simply because it was possible to do so. That way of thinking had got the human race into quite a bit of trouble in the past. Of course, she pondered, holding a public vote did mean that news of the research would become known across the other colonies too, and so, in the event of a ‘no’, it was entirely possible that Johanna would be persuaded to leave in order to replicate her work elsewhere. That prospect worried them all, but they were resolved to the risk. Such dangers are the price of living in a free society.

As the rest of the Council got up from the table, Janet remained seated, lost momentarily in a memory from her most recent date with Caius. Amanda tapped her gently on the shoulder. “Somewhere nice?”

Janet laughed. “ _Very_.” She stood up. “Sorry.”

“You all set to get going as soon as I make the announcement tomorrow?”

“Yes, the initial wave is all prepared. I’m going to see Johanna now. She deserves to know before the official statement. She can be trusted to keep it to herself.”

“I assumed you’d tell her ahead of time; I’m about to do the same for Claire. Yes, good… OK.” Amanda looked at Janet closely. She seemed tired, and a little sad. “You _really_ OK, love?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Too much work, that’s all.” She smiled a forced, over-bright smile and gathered her things. “See you!”

As she walked down the central corridor through the Gene Lab a few minutes later, Janet could see Johanna Manske at her desk, peering at an image on her screen. She tapped on the glass door and Johanna let her in. She sat down in the spare seat by the desk.

“I’ve just come from the latest Council meeting. A decision has been made.”

“And…?”

“There is going to be a public vote.” Janet saw frustration cross Johanna’s face. “I know that’s not necessarily what-”

“No, it’s what I expected, to be honest.” She smiled sadly at her boss. “This forced hiatus has given me time to reflect, and I see that such a thing is too big for one or two people to decide… I’m fine about it, Janet.”

“Good. The vote will be ten weeks from tomorrow. There is going to be a programme of education and meetings, in the lead up. You will have a chance to put your arguments forward, and I would like it if you could contribute to the material we make available.”

“Of course. Thank you.” She looked up into Janet’s face. “I appreciate you coming to tell me, Janet. And for all your support.”

“ _Well…_ you might feel differently when I tell you this last thing: the Council is going to recommend a vote _against_ continuing your research.”

Johanna was so still and quiet that for a moment Janet thought she hadn’t heard her. Then the younger woman inhaled deeply and nodded. “Yes, I… I thought you probably would. Claire Campbell came to see me. She talked of her doubts about the wisdom of bringing back the gender that had almost destroyed us… and I know you all take her opinions very seriously.”

“Claire’s report did recommend shelving your work, yes. But she also suggested keeping your research secret, and we didn’t think that was right.” She sighed. “I am sure you know that all of us on the Council have done little but think about the rights and wrongs of this for weeks, in my case, even longer. There are so many things to consider… We do value Claire’s opinions, but only because we trust in her intellectual rigour and her innate wisdom. That said, we did not accept her recommendations blindly; all of us had already come to much the same conclusion even before she submitted her report.” She reached for Johanna’s hand. “I understand how you must feel, but as you said, this is massive issue, with far-reaching implications that we can only guess at from this lab. I hope you will agree that our decision is the fairest possible one.”

“I do. I am sorry if I appear ungrateful. I am simply disappointed, I suppose. “Good, well…” Janet checked the time; she had a date that evening.

“I was about to finish for the day,” said Johanna, “I’m seeing Adam tonight.” She grinned as Janet blushed. “You’re going there too?”

*********

The ten weeks of the campaign were a strange time on _OB4_ : there had always been plenty of debate and lively discussion in the cafés, bars and other gathering places on the station, but it stepped up a gear as each of the colonists mulled over the issues and implications of the research and its possible outcomes. Public meetings became a weekly, then, as the day of the vote loomed, a daily event. Freddie was grumpily supportive to Claire, who addressed groups small and large several times a week. She was as coherent and persuasive as ever, issuing regular statements on the internal system as well as being allowed a slot on the official information pages. Johanna Manske, on the other side of the argument, was calm and cogent, only occasionally allowing her enthusiasm to show overtly. She presented her point of view clearly: the human race was on the threshold of a new era, one that held the prospect of a better, more natural way of being. There were other women in Claire’s camp, and some who supported Johanna, who also addressed meetings to argue in favour of or against human trials, but they were few in number. In the absence of opinion polls, it was uncertain which way it would go, right up until the voting closed.

The room where the Council had gathered to review the result was tense. Nobody was sure what they would see when Charlotte pressed ‘enter’ to trigger the count. Claire and Johanna had been invited to attend, but the former had opted to stay at home with poor, neglected Freddie, with whom she had some one-on-one time well overdue. Johanna was there, however, and sat beside Janet, not entirely sure what she wanted the outcome to be. A ‘yes’ would mean a great deal more work, but in a field that she loved, and the possibility of historic breakthroughs. She was thrilled at that prospect but, at the same time, not overly concerned if it went the other way - her new research ideas were shaping up nicely and one in particular was more or less ready to present for approval.

“OK,” announced Charlotte, glancing around the table as her finger was poised over her tablet, “here we go.”

Amanda whistled and a ripple of applause broke out as the figures appeared:

  * Number of votes cast in total - 4,847
  * YES - 14.7%
  * NO - 77.3%
  * Number of spoiled or blank ballots - 388



Janet glanced at Johanna. Her face was pale under her mop of blonde hair, but her expression was neutral.

*********

Adam’s room was dimly lit, but there was sufficient illumination for him to see Johanna’s face clearly. She was asleep in his arms, a half-smile on her lips. Carefully, so as not to disturb her, he settled back on the pillow and relaxed. He had been concerned that she would be distressed by the result of the plebiscite, but she had confounded his expectations. She didn’t even appear disappointed but resigned; rather, she was positively chipper. When asked, she told him she was almost relieved that the women of _Orbital Base 4_ had voted overwhelmingly not to continue the research which might have led to the birth of viable male babies. Adam, naturally lugubrious as he was, had been sad on her behalf when he heard the news, although the consensus among the _Companions_ was that the return of real male humans might not be a good development from their point of view. There had been more than one quiet electronic conversation between three or more of them during the period leading up to the referendum, but unlike the rest of the population, the _Companions_ did not get a vote. Some of the more radical colonists had complained about that to the Council and tried to get Adam and his colleagues onside, but he for one was happy to leave the ethical questions to the Zombies… However, Jenny Kirkpatrick, who, years earlier had been one of the founders of the _Campaign for the Emancipation of Androids,_ wasn’t easily dissuaded. She had told Sir Thomas only the week before ( _on a date, so her political principles only went so far,_ thought Adam cynically) that she intended to keep the pressure up until all the residents - _human or cyborg -_ of all the colonies had equal citizen’s rights.

Johanna sighed and stirred, and Adam brought his thoughts back to her. Seeing her eyes flutter open, he kissed her forehead.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

Adam smiled. “You OK?”

“Do you know, I think I am, Adam.” She grinned. “I usually am when I’m here, of course, but...yeah.”

“Ready to move on? To a new project, I mean...” He stroked her chin with one long finger. “Not to pastures new, I hope?”

“Oh no. This is my home now. And what could possibly be better than this?”

*********

Early summer had come to the orchard on _OB4_. Embryonic apples were forming on all the trees, and the rich green of the canopy provided shade and privacy to anyone who might be strolling the paths or sitting on the benches in secluded corners. The park was largely deserted this particular weekday morning; the majority of the regular users were at work or in school. Just a few people were enjoying the amenity, mostly those without commitments, retired or on days off. Near the centre of the orchard, a good-looking couple were walking, hand in hand. To a newcomer, they would have made an arresting sight: he was strikingly handsome, very tall and carried himself with a regal bearing. His glossy black hair reached to his shoulders, and he was dressed in casual clothing of black and green. His partner was tall too, for a woman, and her warm, reddish-blonde hair was gathered artfully at the back of her head. She was wearing loose garments in cream and sage, and walked like a dancer, with grace and fluidity. Yes, a stranger would have been dazzled, but the population of _OB4_ were more than familiar with them.

As they approached a bench, Loki slipped his cool hand out of Hannah’s and put his arm around her shoulder, gathering her to him. “Do you need a rest, my darling? We can sit awhile, if you-”

“Honestly, Loki, I’m pregnant, not an invalid!”

“I know, my darling,” his tone just teetering on the patronising, but not tipping over enough to rile her - _yet_ , “but Henry tells me-”

“You know, you shouldn’t listen to that old…” Hannah checked herself. “Henry has an Early Modern opinion of childbearing, Loki… Don't you remember how desperate he was when Cate was about to get implanted? I had to talk him down in our quarters.”

“Yes, I recall it with great clarity. But he is right that women in the first trimester can suffer from fatigue - I verify everything he tells me, you know.”

Hannah stopped walking and looked at her man. His face was serious, but the underlying tension that had marked the first few weeks after their reconciliation was gone. More than that, he seemed happy in a way she hadn’t seen in him before. Everything about him seemed looser: his body, his face, his emotions. Not for the first time, she thought that the trials they had undergone had actually been a good thing, in the end. “I know - I’m teasing… And yes, a short rest would be nice.”

She sat down and Loki joined her, stretching his right arm behind her to provide a softer backrest. She leaned into him and reached for his other hand. Instead, he took hers and lifted it to his mouth for a lingering kiss on the knuckles. She shivered with desire and he chuckled darkly.

“That’s another thing Henry told me which seems to be true, from my recent observations.”

Hannah dragged her gaze from Loki’s mouth to his eyes. “What?”

“Increased blood flow in the pelvis leads to, um, raised libido.”

Hannah thought for a moment. “That _is_ true. How quickly can we get home?”

“If the lifts are kind to us, perhaps five minutes.”

Loki was tempted to carry her, but wisely decided not even to try suggesting that. The lovers hurried to the exit and crossed the main concourse at a near-run, his long strides and his tight grip on her hand urging her on. The lift was empty when they boarded it, so they indulged their needs as it whisked them upwards, breaking off only when a young woman and a toddler joined them about halfway there. The presence of others meant that Loki had to dial back his foreplay to burning looks and the subtle but undeniably sexy teasing of Hannah’s hand in his. Somehow he was able to combine this with charming the child, who had at first buried her face in her mother’s skirt. After a moment, she began stealing looks at Loki, eventually gracing him with a gap-toothed grin of joy when he ‘magically’ produced an apple, apparently from behind her ear. Hannah loved to watch him with small children. He had shown a natural aptitude for being in their company from the start, but it was the pleasure it gave him that really warmed her heart.

However, there was a time and a place… and she was mightily relieved when they reached their own floor and could be alone again. As soon as their outer door slid closed behind him, Loki caught Hannah by the arms and turned her to face him. They kissed, long and deep and slow until her desperate whimpers made him pull back. “Is something wrong, my darling?”

Hannah gave him a look that told him to stop with the sarcasm, so he simply smiled wickedly and dropped to his knees, running his hand gently over her abdomen. He lifted the hem of her tunic and placed a soft kiss just above Hannah’s knickers. She caught his head with her hand and held it against her, overwhelmed with love. Then she joined him on the floor, still holding his head as she kissed him once more. “Oh Loki, here we are...isn’t it a miracle? You and me and our little Frigga Lokisdottir… our own family, at last.” She wiped a tear from his cheek and fixed his eyes with hers. “Now, my darling, I am sure there is another thing that Henry has told you about this time - Cate has told _me_ , anyway.”

“What is that?” Loki’s eyes were wet but he was smiling.

“To make the most of being alone, while we still are…”


End file.
